Its been about a year since we broke up and I havent spoken with her since then. Its been a year since I said anything to her, and I am sure she would not want to talk to me at all after the way we broke up. I keep thinking about her, and I think about it whenever I am alone,and it been a year. I could be getting a ride and see a couple walk down the street or waiting at the bus stop and see a couple and a image just flashes across my eyes that reminds me of when I did that with her. At night when I sleep I have dreams and remb all the things we did, or whenever my friends are talking about their girlfriends and what they did over the weekend my mind always runs back to her. I've tried dating other women, but I havent had much success and I dont even smoke that much, so I know its not the drugs. I didnt even smoke that much when I first met her. In the last year I tried dating about three women but each of them either cancelled or it just fizzled out and I got the impression that they wheren't interested. I try to keep my moral up but this whole dating game really is starting to have an effect on me mentally. I feel like I need a new girl with me to make everything feel better all over agian. Otherwise I feel upset and I try to keep myself busy with my friends, but there all duesh bags. They never bother calling and they always make me feel like I am not important enough to be called or respected. I need to find new friends who respect me, but Im having a hard time making new friends who do more with their life than sit down and smoke weed all day or play video games. I really dont know what to do anymore. The only thing that will make me feel better is a new gf I care about and some new friends.
I got out of a pretty ugly relationship once. Haven't spoken to her since. You're exactly right. New girl and new friends. Well, you really don't NEED a new girl. Its all mental. Once you're comfortable with yourself, then you'll be comfortable around others. And MOST dating/relationships don't work out anyway. You really have to find that special chick you can really connect with first. If you're really looking for a girl you can stay with, here's what you do: -Just make friends with the girl first. Don't really hit on her, try to get into her pants, etc. (Not saying that you do this) Then, usually a deep, meaningful relationship will grow from that. Girls actually like guys who can just be there friends. Just some friendly words. Don't worry though. More than likely you're pretty young and things just take time to work out.
Yeah everything you have said I have thought about but its so hard to live your life with those positive attitudes. Its so much easier to be negative and complain about life than take responsibilty for it. Plus I think making new friends will help me alot feel better. I really want friends who I can chill with that are cool and like to do alot of things and dont waste their life just playing video games. I want to go hiking or canoeing or sightseeing and hit up chiq nightclubs and then have the balls to approach the woman in bars or clubs. I live in NYC so there is a TON of stuff to do, but I dont have cool people who like to do things. Most people that do like to do the things I do, treat me badly and show me no respect. So thats been my priortity to find new friends who are cool and do alot of fun things.
Damn, you're life sounds like mine 3 years ago. Yea, you really have to make a strong effort to change behavior/thought patterns so you can go out, approach women, all that. New friends will help that along...giving you more people to get to know, something to do, people who show you respect. Good luck on it all, buddy. I've been there before. It seems tough, but you'll get passed it, and you'll look back and laugh.
yeah its just so hard to get the ball rolling though. And facing failure with a postive attiude is a very difficult thing and picking yourself is not as easy as everyone makes it seem. Thats why you need a drive to succeed in whatever you think is important to you. Im trying right now and I have been trying for the past year and I actually have gotten further than I ever was, but I am not close to what I want.
that reminds me of myself. Only difference is im still going out with her. its odd..im always thinking of her and cant stop. we've been going out for more then 4 months now. but I feel as if she doesn't like me the same way I do to her. its like she doesn't respect me or appreciate anything I do. she is my first girlfriend and same with me being her first boyfriend. so maybe she is scared or doesnt exactly know how to show her feelings? I always am the one to reach over and hold her hand, or if we goto kiss. its always me starting it. and no im not some sex craved male who looks at women the wrong way. I respect them fully. but I want to show her how I feel by doing things like just holding her hand. but like I said whenever we do its because im reaching to hold her. its never her hand coming to mine. shit now im super sad. it makes me all depressed thinking about it. what makes it worse is she's my girlfriend and I still feel this way. sorry to start talking about my own problems in your thread. but now im all sad and depressed sorry
crap I just realised I destroyed your thread with my dumb ass sappy talk. Just stay positive man. you sound like a real outgoing fun kind of guy that doesnt want to waste his life away. thats always good
hey man I know what your talking about, resipricosity. The reutrn you recieve. I broke up with her for this exact reason believe it or not. I think that you cant teach someone to be more loving and caring unless it comes from their own heart. They have to feel it, its not something you can think about logically. She has to feel that feeling for you to go and do the things that you want. But because she doesnt do those things dont worry man, the best way to deal with it is to remb to be okay with YOURSELF, that means that you will still love yourself even if she might act strange. Dont base your self value or that feeling inside you that makes you like yourself only on her liking you. IT IS so much harder than just being said. But just try and ignore it. Or just look at her and when you kiss her "your kiss is so tender I really like that about you, did you know that?" then say "but sometimes I wish you would kiss me more often" then dont pay her much attention for the next few days and be busy and give her just a little bit of the cold shoulder.
I broke up with a girlfriend of 2 1/2 years like 9 months ago. We still fight like we are dating though. Its not entertaining, cus Ive only had sex with her a handful of times since weve broken up, so its not even worth it. Do yourself a favor and find a new girl, Im not saying hop into a relationship. Variety is the spice of life, give 'em all a go, then pick one you really connect with. Im still looking for a relationship worth making myself crazy over, it takes time.
thanks for the advice wd2006. that first option sounds like it would be impossible for me to do. main reason I wouldnt want to try that is because I know if I just shrug her off, she wont care or notice. and that will crush me to watch that happend. ill try option 2...maybe. the hard thing about her is she makes things awkward. I can never do anything real nice for her because she gets all sketchy and acts like im some weird stranger. damn this thread has made me think alot. and those bowls I smoked after the last messege really helped me think..ahhhhh
I dont listen to people from Long Island. I hate LI people actually. But yeah. Finding new friends that respect you and a girl that is worth going crzy over is tough. Its not easy to find these things for me at least. Its time I change my personality a bit.
Bluntsmoker, the Toad from California, offers a challenge to all the oppose him. Little does he know that the onces in which he entertains him self by negitive confrontation, care little about his dedicated attempts to throw one's day off. Bluntsmoker, I am happy that you find entertainment in this, but I feel obligated to inform you this entertainment is false, as the people who you confront are not effected as you beleive.
Sounds like me currently. She was my special girl, she started as my friend and I had no intentions of dating her, and then it just blossomed... and I'm in hell every moment of the day, so i know exactly how you feel. And I have no clue where I'll find another girl like her... yay, back to feeling like shit again. Keep your spirits up, I know it's hard to do