I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hey GC, I'm 18 and a senior in high school. My older sister is 19 and a freshman at a college in New York (we live in Connecticut). My parents are both divorced and remarried to other people.

Over the past 4 years of high school its come down to this: neither of my parents want me at either house. So you think they'd be excited to send me away to school right? (I have a 3.1gpa), but no, they're making me commute to college and paying 6,000 a year for me, and 32,000 a year for my sister to live at college in New York.

I'll be honest, me and my parents don't exactly get along, its always been a love/hate relationship. And at times I can be disrespectful. But now, for the past month or 2 I've been living at my moms since I got kicked out of my dads. I got kicked out of my dads because my sister got caught with pot and told my parents I did it too. Fucked up right?

Anyways, I've been living at my moms and I've always had issues with my step dad. When I was 12 he tried to strangle me over an argument because we had no food in the house and I wanted to go to McDonalds. It wasn't until last year in therapy that my mom finally said to my face that my step dad was wrong for laying his hands on me.

I guess I don't have good relationships with males in my family, my dad and I are definately in a love hate relationship. He's a very difficult person to deal with and I understand he's this way because he lived house to house with different family members growing up due to his alcoholic mom and severely drug addicted brother (who later OD'd).

My dad is extremely stubborn and opinionated. This is a little exaggerated but it's to make a point: he hates Obama, if I were to say that Obama rules then he would start yelling at me and like blaming me for the poor economy and shit. I've been kicked out of his house for arguing so many times, never for alcohol or pot or anything, until a month ago.

I know a lot of people will say, "well just stop arguing," and honestly, you're right, but it's a lot harder for me than it sounds. I really think I am one of the best arguers that I've ever met (which may be my downfall), but I pride myself on that skill as I aspire to be a great lawyer someday.

But I have stopped my arguing, I generally keep to myself now, just me and my lap top, and no pot, because I'm getting drug tested randomly. So now my mom doesn't want me to live with them because I don't act like family and talk to everyone. To be completely honest, do you think my step dad actually cares about my school day, and do you think I actually care about his work day? I find it easier to just not talk than to force an awkward conversation that neither of us really want to have.

My step dad has really ruined my relationship with my mom, I told her all the time that I didn't like him and didn't want her to marry him, but she did anyway, and now she's....well....a total bitch. Like the type of mom who if you leave a napkin on the counter, she won't just throw it away for you, she'll walk all the way upstairs to my room and tell me to throw it away, and that's not an exagerration.

Now at her house I just do what they say, every chore, every dish, every cleaning of the litter box I do without even mumbling something under my breath like I used to, and they still don't want me.

Just right now, I kid you not, this moment, my mom came down and got her laptop from next to me on mine and just took it upstairs, if she's not even going to sit next to me on the computer and make an attempt to bond with me then why should I even try/care anymore?

I just feel like my parents have been holding me back from what I want to do and who I want to be for the past 4 years. We live in a very rich town, my Dad and step mom appear rich because we have a nice looking house and decent cars, but we are in major debt so things are tight, and we have my little half brother to worry about. At my moms house, my step dad is loaded, we have an 08 infiniti g35 that sits in the garage and is probably driven once every two weeks, a 09 rav4 thats driven daily, and in the backyard garage there's an RX7, I don't know what year it is. And we have like 3 plasma tv's and surround sound in every room. So you'd think I'd be a privileged child, right?

Wrong, I get absolutely nothing. There's never any food in the house, only Raman noodles and frozen vegetables. I wasn't allowed to get car insurance until I had a job (which I got a month ago, and this is my third job, I've been working since I was 15) and now that I can drive, I can only drive my step moms shitty ford focus and have to be home at 11 o'clock curfew, as opposed to 11:30 when I'm not driving. I can't drive any of the cars I listed that we have at my moms house, and I can't drive my dads.

Without driving, I'm cut off from my friends. I live on the complete opposite end of town and it's near impossible to find rides from other people. It sucks going into school mondays and hearing about all the parties there were that you couldn't go to. Even for sports, I can't go to lacrosse training after school because I have no way to get home, I'm cut off from the team and their training, so while everyone else is working hard and bonding as a team, I'm stuck at home lifting weights by myself, which isn't very motivating.

I'm sorry, this has become a rant, I'm just tired of all this.

I guess the point of writing this was just to get some stuff off my chest.

Do any of you face similar living situations where neither of your parents want you, if so, what do you do to make it better?

Also, for anyone who actually takes the time to read this and give me feedback (positive or negative) I would greatly appreciate it.

Unfortunately, I cannot give +rep, only neutral rep, so I ask that anyone would who can give +rep give it to those who help me out, I know it maybe be a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks GC, sorry for the long read.

 

ya I know i can look forward to the future being on my own.

but it just sucks to think that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life for some people, and it wasn't even close to that for me. it's 4 years i'll never get back of my life

 

i appreciate this post.

by "holding me back" i just mean from a social life. there's so many parties and even sporting events or just get togethers that I couldnt go to, which reduces chances of making friends. also, without driving privileges it's tough to be chasing girls, no girl in my town wants to have the guys mom driving them to the movies or whatever.

and I really can't work more and move out, I know that I would definitely struggle with bills and i don't want to be struggling financially this early in my life.

also, I would have no problem getting a loan from a bank (i trust in myself that i'll be successful enough to pay it off) to pay for me to live at college instead of commute, but my parents need to cosign the load, which they would never do

 

thanks man, it feels good to finally get some support from people

::h and just so people know, im not like a bitch who gets pushed around by my step dad, though i think GC is nice enough to not judge me like that, he's 5'8 and im 6'3 and play football and lacrosse and i would absolutely drop him in a fight, im a fighter, just not a domestic disturbance family fighter haha

 

trust me dude, i've done that, she says "if you dont like the way things are then go live at your fathers." but my dad doesnt want me there, there's no place to go. a few friends have offered to let me live with them, but im sure their parents arent up for that, and they're not like "best friends" i dont really have a best friend, i just have friends who enjoy ditching me whenever they feel like it.