My mind has a funny way of storing deadlines or time constraints. Like if its before work, my mind knows how much time it needs to get there, and when I get to about 10 minutes before that I can't focus on or enjoy anything. Like for instance, I have something I know I'm going to have to do at 5pm today. I can feel it in my head. As it gets closer I find myself unable to focus on anything else, it becomes impossible to enjoy watching a tv show or listening to music. Eventually when its within half an hour, I basically have to just wait for the event. Because of this I am always waiting. Even when the events for the day are finished, I can feel how long I have to sleep, then what will need to be done after sleep, and what the next deadline after that is. I can actually feel it, and can feel it getting closer. I don't panic, I have no trouble focusing on the task I'm engaged in, this only affects my free time. I don't know what to do.
I think you just need to get over that. When you start to feel yourself becoming obsessed with some task and you can only feel that in your head, try to fight it out, try to go do something else. You need to train your brain NOT to think that way. Think of it as a thinking habit, change it!
I'm fairly certain it's not anxiety, because even when it's things that don't matter or are my choice I feel it. And if I choose not to do it, that feeling jumps to the next thing in line. It's like a positional awareness of the next timed activity you need to prepare for. I don't need alarm clocks or to check the clock all the time, never have. I can feel when it's getting close, as long as I've looked at a clock that day, and know a time I'm supposed to be somewhere later that day, I'll know what time it is. I've tried and I can force myself to do other stuff that's no problem. I just can't enjoy it. Like if I have 20 minutes to kill before leaving, I can watch tv, and force myself to focus on it, but I won't enjoy it. Won't laugh at the jokes or anything, it might as well be C-Span or a blank screen. I just go through the motions of watching it.
I'm no professional, but my guess would be to keep trying to train yourself to get your mind of that certain thing and enjoy something else meanwhile. The best thing you can do is train yourself, take control of your own self your own brain. You should seek help from a professional, like a therapist or something. I have been to therapy, and don't regret going at all! Really helped with my negative mindset and depression.
I had 2 years of court ordered psychotherapy a while back. I'm done with that scene. All they could figure out was that I'm borderline sociopathic, diagnosed schizoid personality disorder. They found a bunch of stuff I can do. Like word search puzzles, I already see all the words I don't have to look, I read whole sentences as opposed to words. They used to refer to me as "The Robot" cuz I don't possess normal emotion but am not shy and have an extensive vocabulary and amazing social skills. They called me HAL.
Anxiety. Standard anxiety man or OCD. I have it bad and i'm the same way. If i have an important event coming up or even just something simple i will think about it constantly more and more as it gets closer.
[quote name="Doke Smoper" post="19053492" timestamp="1385496371"]My mind has a funny way of storing deadlines or time constraints. Like if its before work, my mind knows how much time it needs to get there, and when I get to about 10 minutes before that I can't focus on or enjoy anything.Like for instance, I have something I know I'm going to have to do at 5pm today. I can feel it in my head. As it gets closer I find myself unable to focus on anything else, it becomes impossible to enjoy watching a tv show or listening to music. Eventually when its within half an hour, I basically have to just wait for the event. Because of this I am always waiting. Even when the events for the day are finished, I can feel how long I have to sleep, then what will need to be done after sleep, and what the next deadline after that is. I can actually feel it, and can feel it getting closer. I don't panic, I have no trouble focusing on the task I'm engaged in, this only affects my free time. I don't know what to do.[/quote]Sounds like generalized anxiety. By the way your last two paragraphs completely contradict one another. I hate how some people see "mental difference or abnormality or uniqueness" synonymous with "mental disorder" sometimes.No. You probably do not have a mental disorder. If you want to go find one of the thousands created in the last decade, go find that label.Edit: let's remember folks, every human being in earth experiences anxiety.
Yeah it's not ocd. I can force myself to do other stuff, and it doesn't actually matter if any of it happens. If I just refuse to do anything else that day it doesn't bother me. I'm not neat or orderly, don't care about the sequence things happen in. I just feel the next thing I'm required for and can feel the time constraint as it approaches and find myself increasingly unable to enjoy or focus on other things.
Don't pre-diagnose until a specialist have checked out the condition, sometimes the condition isn't that severe. You can try to investigate the cause and see how it developed, and try to self medicate with a GABA supplement to prevent anxiety.
I'm not sure how my last two paragraphs contradict one another. And it's a disorder because I don't like it because it ruins my free time. If I enjoyed it, I'd just call it an advantage and not post about it.
their are various forms of ocd but if you don't think its that then im not sure, when did it all start any trigger or have u been like this all your life?
Anxiety. Everyone gets it. It's not a "disorder" unless it is constantly debilitating. And the last half of your post said you're not always anxious.
[quote name="Doke Smoper" post="19053670" timestamp="1385497935"]I'm not sure how my last two paragraphs contradict one another. And it's a disorder because I don't like it because it ruins my free time. If I enjoyed it, I'd just call it an advantage and not post about it.[/quote]It's a disorder because you don't like it? I don't like cherry pop tarts, does that mean I have a disorder of cherry hatred?I just don't want more of the population to experience normal anxiety, or even increased anxiety (because everyone gets it), and mistake it for "disorder". Anxiety debilitates everyone. That doesn't mean you are genetically disposed or altered in a way that makes you disordered.Edit: if you do go to a doctor and get labeled "anxiety" at least do us all a favor a try smoking weed before Xanax.
Lol... Anyway, who knows man. It sounds like you need to be in control. And the fact that consequences don't phase you, maybe you fall somewhere on the sociopathic spectrum. Is that what you want to hear?
Wow you sound like a trained physician! I sure am glad I don't have a disorder! I'll just head on back to bible school!
[quote name="Doke Smoper" post="19053742" timestamp="1385498499"]Wow you sound like a trained physician! I sure am glad I don't have a disorder! I'll just head on back to bible school![/quote]I'm not saying you do or don't have it.Why I'm saying is that some people who have the mindset of "I have some sort of mental disorder" will find one of the thousands the USA created recently to label themselves as.Edit: and that you need to be aware of that objective fact and consider it.