Every second of every hour of every fucking godforsaken day Im angry. It's a disgusting fucked up feeling to be like this every single day, you'll know what I mean if you're like me. Anyways, my life fucking sucks. Yes i know I'm not some starving kid in africa and just Im some spoiled suburban white kid but ill trade places with that kid anyday, ANYDAY. I'm actually jealous of normal people and their normal life and their normal shit. Why i ask myself did i get THIS life? out of all the lives why this one. Or why this, why that it but it doesn't matter really it is what it is and I cant do shit about it. Thats the problem with me, i cant change, i bet if i tried my hardest i could but thats where it gets interesting, I cant try my hardest or be the best i can be or do good on something or try hard you name it, because fuck hey id just rather go home everyday and play on the computer, or sleep, or get blazed or die. I truly live in a vicious circle, Its like i want to change and stop being angry, but at the same time im angry now so how can i just say okay enoughs enough stop being angry its time to change, but i cant cause im SO FUCKING ANGRY. When i say that i hate life I LITERALLY mean i fucking hate life, meaning i hate that fucking commercial or nancy mother fucking grace or the government YOU NAME IT, chances are I'll fucking hate it with a passion. And i get worked up over the STUPIDEST shit, example.. Ill see one of the many stupid fucking commercials that I've seen 50000 times and it will get me so angry my day is ruined. I hate my face I hate my parents I hate my "peers" i HATE fucking vancouver and the 15$ bottles of aspirin, i hate my fucked up crazy mental deranged brain that i was given. I hate whatever numerous mental diseases i have that i dont even know of. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I hate myself for not being able to quit my addictions. I hate my mother fucking classes and the dickheads in them. I hate todays society and twitter and facebook and SMARTPHONES and how they are todays crack for the successful. I have money hungry companies and big businesses i hate the police i hate it you name it.. I hate how i have no girlfriend (LITERALLY i dont have a friend thats a girl) oh hahaha wait a second i dont have a friend at all actually, because my best friend can just be the computer till i fucken die die die die. I could make a fucking encyclopetia sized book on the things i hate. Ah i remember the good timez, where i was normal, where i could hold a conversation without seeming weird, or had a friend to call, or had a bitch to fuck,or family to see.. where the fuck did the good times go? Whats wrong with me why am i like this way..... where did i go wrong? *insert you mad jpg here*
I kinda understand how you feel, sometimes when im high i get mad at the shows i watch sometimes, becuase most of what i watch is just some dumb motherfucker thats just acting. But i usually dont get mad, i mean my dad and i are both very laid back kinds of poeple. I see why you are so mad, but you kind of act like nobody else knows these things about society and how fucked up it is.
See a therapist. You say you want to change but quit when it gets hard, whatever dude it's on you, no one can force you, and pretty much you know it.
Maybe you shouldnt be smoking. You need to stop the "Vicious Circle" Start like with a clean slate tommorow. Do every single thing different. Act confident, Look at the glass half full, and be fucking positive for christs sake.
I know i know .. i realize all of this too well but when it comes to getting the shit done and saying, HEY FUCK U BRAIN LETS DO THIS AND GET CLEAN AND GET SOME SHIT DONE WITH YOUR LIFE.. Its not that easy, for me atleast. I know im addicted to marijuana (crazy right).. but i cant go a day without it.. I haven;t toked all day today which is probably why im so pissed right now but im going to go through with it.. LOL yay i completed the one day challenge me so special.. thats what i feel like pretty much, its pathetic. I fucking LOVE weed, but i know deep down its time for a break till i get my shit back in the bag ... but after that i can't wait to come back to my gorgeous marry jane!
If you stick to the stuff you just said im proud of you. DO NOT GIVE UP. If you need someone to talk to im here . But just make sure you stick to it this time
I understand where you're coming from, but you got to let that shit go. That's the bottom line. Let it be. All that societal bullshit is not going anywhere...so why get pissed about it. Find what YOU are into, and enjoy it. I saw what you said about the weed, but ease off so you can get your life together and then you'll be able to enjoy it. Sounds like you could use some support. Look outside your Self and focus on helping others. Volunteer, be a mentor to someone that needs help. If you are always encased in your shell of a life there's no way to actually Live it. If you truly looked at your situation and the opportunities that you no doubt have access to living in this country-you'd have to be just a tad greatful. Little things like walking into a grocery store and being able to take food off the shelf and buy it. Being able to sit in your house and do what the fuck you want for hours and sleep in a warm bed. All the hate feelings are doing for your life is making it bad. Let it go and get some gratitude. I dont say that lightly. You have everything to make your like successful, its just up to you to do it.
damn man.. here is my mission forr you dude, tomorrow when you wake up just think about all things your happy you have. for example be happy you have a warm shower, be happy you have a bed.. start simple, over time you will start to become happy.. even if your still mad 95% of the time.. if you have 5% of happiness your mind will start to change the way it thinks
If you cant get your shit done have you thought of the possibility of having add. Ive had add my whole life im 18 and a few months ago i finally decided to see a phycologist about it. Before then i always blamed weed for me having a lack of motivation up until i quit for a couple months, then i realized weed had little to do with motivation. Since ive been on adderall ive gotten my ged, quit smokin so much, began college and auctually started to do well. Its wierd because me doing bad in school effected my confidence which dosnt make much sense because whys me being a lazy effect me talkin to chicks. Now that im doin good in life my confidence is back. Its pretty cool turning your life around. Stop smoking then see what happens you might be one of those people that cant do it everyday(like me). Life might suck now but if you dig deep and make a change you can look forward to having an awsome life Im stoned not sure if that made much sense but yeah dood
its worth a try for him to look into, but idk adderal made me get aggravated easy, id fiddle with shit alot, not talk much, smoke more weed, get really aggresive, and my heart would beat wierd.... i agree weed doesnt effect motivation at all though, honestly the only reason i never got my school shit done is cause i had to be outside of my house smoking weed and that made doing hw hard.. but now that i can smoke weed while doing homework, everything is good.
Since hooking up against the rules have an internet toke. But yeh I been having the same feeling kinda mad and sad...been for along ass time that I finally went to my doctors. You should do the same if you feel really really down. I waited a year and I feel sorta better.
i do have ADHD bro, it fucking sucks sweaty donkey cock nuts and i hate it almost as much as the medicine the doctor prescribes, turning me from a fruit into a vegetable. edit - forgot to ask, do you really like the adderall? Ive tried ritolin (omfg wtf boom),strattera (errhh.. no) and vyvanse (good for the first week then you transform into a tweaky sweaty wherewolf).. but i have heard good things about adderal. thanks for the support guise.. I really appreciate it and im feeling a bit calmer now.. 20 mins ago i had the biggest urge to get completely blazed but luckily my only lighter is out of juice.. So i think some super being is trying to tell me something! I gotta stick with it.
You said your in Vancouver? I'm living in Tswassaen right now. I'm down to chill and smoke a bowl if you ain't got any friends.