i give the fuck up.

yep.
im a 26 year old guy. 2 "real" relationships, one for 3 months, one for 3 weeks. But i've given up pretty much. if someone comes along that tickles my fancy and it works out fine, but i'm not going to go out of my way to get heartbroken, not to mention all the other stress relationship drama brings. embrace ur new found free-ness. the day i stopped giving a fuck about being in a relationship or trying to find someone was the day i really started living.

 

This is why whenever I'm at a restaurant or whatever and see an old couple that have been together for twice as long as I've been alive I always stop and smile. Just goes to show that it is possible to find a love like that.

 

I'm in the same boat as you.

All we can do is hope that day comes soon.

 

Why?
What is love?
will it make you happy? will it make you a better person? imo, the answer is no. Love is a luxury some people have and some people don't. You have friends? you have a family? maybe you're not getting boned on the reg, maybe you have to eat some meals alone, but you also have the freedom to do whatever u want, whenever u want without the attachment of a significant other that you have to consider.
Don't get me wrong, it feels good to have someone to come home to. It feels good confide your deepest secrets to someone. But trying to force it will only backfire and cause more problems. Like i said, if it happens, it happens. But let it happen, don't stress out about it or you'll only go crazy.
Need some personal interaction? join some clubs. take some classes. chances are you'll meet some people with actual shared interest rather than being set up by someone who thinks they know you or asking out every damn person you meet hoping for a hit.
Sorry to rant, and I don't think a lecture is what you're looking for, but I promise you "love" is a false reality. I love you. Everyone on this forum loves you. we share a mutual profound mystical understanding.

 

you should learn to live in the now instead of thinking about something small like love. it will come when you aren't expecting it so be ready, that will be the joy about it.
wanna be friends?

 

[quote name='"Craiggers"']
Why?
What is love?
will it make you happy? will it make you a better person? imo, the answer is no. Love is a luxury some people have and some people don't. You have friends? you have a family? maybe you're not getting boned on the reg, maybe you have to eat some meals alone, but you also have the freedom to do whatever u want, whenever u want without the attachment of a significant other that you have to consider.
Don't get me wrong, it feels good to have someone to come home to. It feels good confide your deepest secrets to someone. But trying to force it will only backfire and cause more problems. Like i said, if it happens, it happens. But let it happen, don't stress out about it or you'll only go crazy.
Need some personal interaction? join some clubs. take some classes. chances are you'll meet some people with actual shared interest rather than being set up by someone who thinks they know you or asking out every damn person you meet hoping for a hit.
Sorry to rant, and I don't think a lecture is what you're looking for, but I promise you "love" is a false reality. I love you. Everyone on this forum loves you. we share a mutual profound mystical understanding.[/quote]

This

And to expand upon it a little you really have to be happy and love yourself before somebody else can love you.

About 8 months ago I got out of a 5 year relationship, i was so sad and depressed it wasn't funny. I tried to go out and look for girls but nobody was interested, probably because I was so unhappy.

About 3 months ago I decided to change shit up. I started doing thing myself that I wouldn't normally do, like go to a baseball game alone. I started working put and eating better which made me feel a hundred times better. I'm happier now than I ever thought I could be alone and people see that. I put out a postitive give now instead of a negative one, now girls are starting bs conversations with me instead of the other way around.

To sum it up, it doesn't seem like you're very happy with yourself, from this post and others I've seen you post. You have to have to have to love yourself first, it'll make any relationship you find better too because you won't have to rely on that person to make you happy.

 

Here is the secret, you must stop looking. One day it'll come, I guarantee it, just stop looking for it now. Love comes when the time is right. Here's a little spoiler, all guys just want sex, but if you have a mind worth welding then what the heck, yay. I'm going to be dead honest here, I was in a relationship for three years and once it ended, good god was I crushed! Afterwards though I became the happiest man alive and still am. What the fuck is so special about having 1 person to love and cuddle for eternity? I find it to be redundant, imprisoning and life depriving. You know what you need, get a friend with benefits. Matter of fact, get a couple of those. They'll listen to you when you need it and then you can have sex afterwards, GREAT! Maybe then one day, you'll settle down, or maybe you won't, WHO CARES? No one is watching, so you might as well have some fun. You gotta be easy on yourself, fuck what society thinks for a moment, not like they're in any better shape, they're prisoners who need to be told what to do. Just live your life, have fun, love everything and everyone. I'm sorry to break to it ya but this love you search for that's "no holds barred", "unconditional", bla bla bla, doesn't exist. People change and with that you must change too. Love yourself because truth is, you're all you've got, so treat yourself well, and the world will bend to your leisure.

 

I completely agree, everything he said is correct. The same exact thing happened with me, including the changes he made. You no longer need to look for anything anymore because you've found yourself, and this is what others fail to find. People search for salvation outside of themselves rather than inwards.

 

We want to get love, rather than give love.
We seek understanding, rather than trying to understand.
We seek self-confidence, rather than respecting others.
We seek praise and encouragement, rather than giving praise and encouragement .
We don't like criticism, but like to criticize others.-A. Chah

Focus on giving and it will happen for you...Keep your head up!

 

HBGBUB, Craiggers and a few others nailed it. No need to look for a relationship. Now if you are 50-60 and still single, then yes, maybe start looking.

Enjoy yourself...enjoy life! Find out what you enjoy by experimenting with things such as sports, hobbies, cultures, foods, etc. If you don't learn to experience things, you'll never grow as a person. And when I say experience life, I'm not talking about getting drunk and going to the club. I'm talking doing things beyond that. Travel, hike, bungee jump, etc.

I believe many young women have babies or want one because they have no other interests and basically just want "to do something". I don't think I knew one women who had a ton of ambitions when they were younger want a kid at such a young age. I'm sure it's amazing to have a kid and watch it grow, but these young girls haven't even experienced life yet and they want to just settle down and start a family!

Anways, once you start to grow as a person and experience things, you'll be more confident and you won't "need" a relationship, even though being in a good relationship will help you grow as well! The thing is, a relationship shouldn't make or break you but it definitely can complement you

 

Lust is where it's at

 

op i dontwanttosuond patronizing but could it be youre trying too hard to find love? honestly because if so, maybe you could let it go for a while andsee how it pans out...some people say they found love when they were not seeking it....and youre 23 so youhave time...:le:

 

Im 22 Honestly in all, fuck love, I haven't really found that girl I can say damn, I really love her and she loves me....nah it's always the beginning of three of my serious relationships were the best, but eventually just turn to shit and thought I was in love....I don't get it I just think I'm too young right now to know what I want and w.e I want is out there but I'm not gonna find her, yet.

 

I really understand where you're coming from.. it sucks, and I want it too! I want someone to spend time with and to share my life with, and travel.

As more days pass the more lonely I get.

 

I know exactly how you feel. The world can be such a lonely place.

 

A lot of 23 year old guys can't handle the excess baggage of a kid.