I dont know what it is but life just keeps gettin harder Like broke as fuck my dad fired me an is never talking to me again my momma is a mad alchohlic an works all the time my lil bro jst went bck to new york my other lil bro is still in school iim 18 an i jst feel like i dunno like ive grown up like my childhood was never good always seeing my mom an dad fighting every night when i lived in rough places always hearin gun shots my dad did mad coke an paryts instead of comin home to see us when we were younger lots of sleepless nights but like i feel like im ready to die like as if Like im just ready, like if whoever comes an takes you away to where ever you go i would hav no problem with it But i cant i gotta stay around for my lil brothers my mom my nanna my pappa, but i jst feel as if im jst doin nothin i think im deprressed like i get really emotional i create scenrios all the time in my head an think about how shit it would be if something like that happend i cried today an i never cry, the other day i realised what have i got 50 years to live max??? fuckk life is short man life is fuckin short an im heart broken cuz jst shit will be gone everything friends family im scared man really fuckin scared of grownin up man like fuck i dnt wanna grow old man i love bein young but my insticnt jst tells me to keep goin an see how everything pans out maybe im supposed to make it out one day ya mean? like fuck maybe this is just prep for when i actually start makin moves an do somethin i dunno ive always wanted to be successfull but i also think hav i alrdy missed my oppurtuinty i dnt think so i havent been given very much an nobody has really given me a chance so maybe i am suppossed to ride it out who the fuck knows all i know is its scary as fuck man smoke a joint an think on this one haha jst shit that i think about when stoned i get really deep like ddeeeeppp in the mind
I know what you mean dude, life is short. It's hard to comprehend how were going to spend the precious time we have and if we are spending our time in the right ways or not. It's a trip to be sure.
Aw, I feel for ya bro. I use to have a pretty bad life, when I was really young, then when I was 8, my mother took my sister and I away from my dad, and we got a nice home in a nice place and my farther is no longer allowed to see us. I also get all deep and stuff when I smoke later in the night, and go and lay in bed. I usually end up thinking about how much shit is going on in this world, and if I was put here to do any thing about it.
Just remember nothing lasts forever. One day all the bad stuff will go away, but make sure to hold onto the good as much as you can, because it too will pass.