By chance, are you a cuckold? It really seems like it. "Okay babe, enough making out with that random dude. I know you're a little tipsy, so it's all right, let's go home." Next time she has sex by accident... is it still okay?
Once again, between fear and trust, you put all your chips on fear. You can chose to trust that she's not going to fuck up again or to fear that she's going to do it again.. I'm not saying you should always go with trust, I'm saying that a relationship that automatically switches to fear as soon as there's any trouble probably isn't worth my while. I'm not saying every cheater should always be forgiven, I'm just saying forgiveness is ONE of the options, and sometimes can be best one. Seeing how guilty she felt about the whole thing, there's a good chance in this occurence, it was.
I understand human psychology quite well. Once a cheater, always a cheater. People to not change, it is not in our nature to go against our natural moral values we developed as a child. I've never met a woman who cheated once and never did it again. Not a single time. Now she just knows she can get away with it.
That's how I know vegan people don't exist ! Not a single one of them ! And I KNOW that, because I have never ever met one. Not a single time.
It takes a real special type of cowardly asshole to hit a woman. Congratulations for being a waste of space.
[quote name='"iweartshirts"']if i was your boyfriend i would leave you for 2 reasons 1) long distance relationships ARE NOT WORTH IT unless both parties are 100% committed and even then... it is rough, especially when you are young and full of hormones. there are plenty of fish closer home, just gotta look for em 2) i have a feeling this will happen again, maybe it will go further? who knows but i for sure don't want to have that cloud looming in the back of my head oh and one more thing... why the fuck do you feel like you should tell him? how do you think he will react? it is going to make him feel like shit hearing this, trust me i've been in his position but my ex was perfectly sober at the time. you need to deal with this guilt yourself, your mistake, your fuck up, deal with the consequences and don't hurt someone because you lost control and had poor judgment. it baffles me why people who "accidentally" cheat feel like they need to let their partner know of their fooling around, that just makes the problem worse. if it truely was a mistake and not intended then thats a secret that should be taken to the grave. fellow blades and bladies, whats your opinion on the matter?[/quote] Yeah dude I would love to see the look on my girlfriends face when she hears that I kissed some girl and then come back with but it was an accident I didn't HAVE to tell you!
Its a trust thing. When I do relationships, I 'do' them fully. Full commitment, no bullshit, no lying, no cheating; full respect. I'd expect the same for the girl I'm with. Trust is a big thing for me, I'd be emotionally wretched if a girl cheated on me. One: Because I'd never do the same and Two: because thats fucked. If being heavily emotionally invested in trust and loyalty makes me less of a man in your eyes... well I guess I can live with that notion Re-reading that phrase, it sounds like your implying there is no room for sensitivity in the guy psyche
Just because I don't think they should be thrown away automatically as soon as one of the person involved locks lips with another person doesn't mean I don't understand or respect commitments. If you're enthusiast enough about a person and a relationship, there's nothing wrong with forgiving a few minor mistakes. I don't know, I just read a thread about a girl feeling awfully guilty about something most people over 17 wouldn't even call cheating, she confessed to her boyfriend who decided to forgive her, and then two pages of people calling her a slut and her boyfriend an idiot. I know I should be used to it, but fuck it !
I wouldn't even call it cheating - well, not if it happened like this. In a drunken situation, yes people do stupid things - but, in this case it wasn't a stupid thing on the part of the OP. Sure she "let" him, right? But he initiated and she stopped it from elevating. Not everyone has drunken dodge reflexes. It's also an uncomfortable shitty situation - I'm sure we'd all like to think that if our girls were in the same situation, they'd like belt the guy one for it, but drunkenness does effect your ability not only to make the right decisions but to make decisions at all, and definitely doesn't improve your reaction time or help you know how to deal with an uncomfortable situation. One of my "friends" was around at my place for a drinking night, he's always had a thing for my woman but we both think it's just kind of pathetic, because he's essentially a 30 year old man child that dresses wigga, and is in "heart attack by 40" shape. So clearly, not a threat...and seemed unlikely to ever act on this... I ended up actually passing out and getting drawn on by the people there that night, and the next day she told me that while showing her some photos on his camera he put the arm around her. She got up, and started drawing on me. I woke up. She didn't tell me right away as she didn't want my drunken stupor to turn into violence I'd regret - which it likely would have. Now, I look at the situation and I think - she did the right thing. Though that arm DID land on her. By a lot of your definitions that makes her some kind of slut - I mean, it's IMO the same deal, a guy dropping some kind of unwanted intimate contact on her, and her not being able to stop it until after the fact. The fact you guys would consider someone worth breaking up with for getting kissed by someone, stopping the situation, and telling them about it...just surprises me. If it was going to go further it would have, but it didn't. I've been cheated on in the past, and I've since learned it's a valuable skill to be able to draw the line between incidents like this, and intent. It's two completely different things, and the only thing that it should indicate is that perhaps the chick should be keeping different company. OP - I do think you should approach this with the person involved. Let them know that what they did resulted in this situation, and that they're not going to pull that shit again. If any warning signs of recurrence happen, remove yourself. I'd have a word to his flatmate (your friend) too so that he can get your back on this. It's not like you've committed an assault if you get slapped is it? Some people are pretty quick to judge. Actually, it's sad how anti-women a large percentage of this forum is really...I almost feel like I'm in the "gay stoners/women are the evil of the world" forum sometimes.
Once again, taking text completely out of context. Of course you know there's vegan people. They post about it online. I hear about it from friends, that there other friend is vegan now. You can stop eating meat in a single night and never go back; it's not hard. Although with this, It takes years for a woman to mature out of the stage where they don't mind cheating. They don't change overnight, and you make it sound like they will. Have fun being a cuck, bro!
You have a very relevant point. I too have a huge problem with cheating, but there should be more factors at play when deciding whether to drop an entire relationship or not. Once again, it really does depend on the scope of the situation. I would consider this more a 'betrayal of trust' than true cheating. OP didn't handle her shit enough for this not to happen. At the same time, I don't feel like her intent was to explicitly cheat, and feel that she may learn a valuable lesson from this situation. If it were me I would just have a hard time trusting my gf that she can handle alcohol/situations with alcohol where she's alone.
A lot of insecure people...personally, I've been cheated on, in some of the most horrendous ways (being at home sick on st Patrick's day with our sick 1 year old daughter while she was out fucking some guy she met at the bar). The physical act of cheating didn't bother me, it was the fact that she lied about it on numerous occasions until finally giving in, then admitting to another time earlier in the relationship. The fact that it was more than just sex, that she had actual feelings for them, the lieing, dishonesty, keeping secrets, etc always hurt me more than actually cheating did. Shit happens, especially when you're drunk. I understand that fully. If my current girlfriend told me one day she was at a party or the bar, and ended up cheating on me, I wouldn't leave her, nor would I be very upset about it. If she told me the truth, and in a reasonable time frame, that right there tells me it wasn't premeditated, and didn't mean for it to happen, she regrets it, and shows that I can still trust her. I would obviously tell her to cut off all contact with that person, and tell her not to get do drunk around others do much, but I would still love and trust her as much as I do now. OP, I have a lot of respect for you for telling your boyfriend what happened, being truthful about it, etc. and I'm glad he's a level headed guy and you two worked it out. Best of luck to both of you!
[quote name='"Laith"']I personally would dump you if I was dating you. Making out while drunk? Okay, forgiveable after a while. Definitely would make it clear you can obviously no longer be going out and drinking if you want me. Allowing the same man to walk you home so he knows where you live? Have a nice life. Hope your boyfriends more forgiving than I am.[/quote] This. Bitch you fucked up old school.
[quote name='"the cole phelps"'] If you want me to be onest. The way i see it is this. If you're gf cheats on you. You're no longer a man. You've lost you're pride,self respect,dignity.... All of it gone and for what ? So this slut can get rubbed between her legs ???? If you're dating someone their giving you their word they wont betray you. If you do all bets are off IMO Think of it like this when you're dating someone you sign/agree verbally they'll never cheat,betray,screw you over once that agreement is broken you should be able to ''sue for damages'' AKA punch them in their slutty face[/quote] I have just walked home and upon reading this I pissed myself laughing. Thank you.
You are one lucky girl, no doubt. I would have been pissed at the fact that you're at some fucking party getting drunk with other dudes. EVERYONE knows alcohol makes you do stupid shit, so why put yourself in that situation? If you would have just stayed home or done something that didnt involve turning into a slut after drinking then none of this would have happened. That's the way I see it. Avoid the situation as a whole, and you avoid "accidents" or whatever you want to call them.
ok here's what might happen... ok so one morning i was feeling great had a good wake and bake on felt good didnt want any shit to bring me down and my gf wakes up and say's she has somthing to tell me and i can already tell its bad.. she saw's i just dont know how to tell you with out you getting pissed or mad... i say do i have to know? is it life threating? then dont i dont want to hear it ill ask you about it when i want to deal with this....she goes on to tell me about how she had gotten wasted at the bar and my friend was buying her shot's and cocktail's and telling her he would take her to concert's and club's and shit in vegas.. i was 20 at the time and i told her with as much as she drank at the bar we would be over by the time i was 21 and i was just about right ... so anyway's they danced kissed madeout... i told her to save it i was done.. walked into my room grabed my herb and my pipe and my gun and was going to go blast off a few rounds to releave some feeling's and think.... she see's me with the gun and freak's out i tell her what i was going to go do and she didnt believe me.. told her to leave me alone she chases me out to my car start's trying to rip my door open and wont let me drive off i power bun in the street honking my car horn screaming let go!!! about 10 time's and then finnaly said fuck it "im leaving now let go" turned up guess who's comming to dinner by black uhuru and took my foot off the brake and let it start picking up speed and when i got to about 10-13 mile's an hour she stubed her toe and ate shit i freaked out thinking i ran her over i look back and she was on her hand's and knee's got up dusted off her scrape's and then walked home... i was livid by this point didnt want any of that drama to begin with that why i tried to leave and she bring's it in the street ... and then to top it off i blow the stop sign off my street and im moving at about 35 in a 35 have a cracked window... i see him and start freaking after what had just happend my weed my pipe my loaded handgun and i see him speed up behind me and im like im going to jail! so i toss my gun on the passenger seat and this is in az where it is legal to carry a loaded handgun without permit.. he ask's what's up and i can hear his radio in the background praying there isnt already talk on it about the demostic shit going down with my car..... get a fixit ticket for my window hid my weed and pipe... was let go and drove to the gas station for a soda and my gf's dad pull's up "what's wrong - called me up crying and i got a ticket for speeding" i was like are you serious??? shook my head..... might start a shit storm or he might get even with you but if you explain to him that the dude out of knowwhere kissed you and dont tell him he was buying you drink's all night and you were flirting with him ....the worst part about that was alot of peopl i considerd friend's where there but that's just how people are these day's see no evil hear no evil speak no evil... out of all the friend's we had in relationship's i would say maby only 5 were healthy relationship's with no cheating... and your best friend know's a homie's dicking down your girl and dosent tell you or drop hint's at least ....
She wasn't at a party she was with friends for the most part an adult woman should be able to drink with friends without anything happing and how is she a slut? A guy kissed her by that logic if a girl is raped she's a slut and a cheater