I am me again!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by j-mf-s, Oct 12, 2007.

  1. Hey guy,
    for the longest time (since 3rd grade or so), i have been really down about life. My dad drinks 1.75L of whiskey every night, and treats my mom like shit. He yanks all of the money out from under us whenever he is mad, and also uses the 5 kids he shares with my mom to get back at her whenever they are at odds with each other. My life has progressively gotten worse until tonight. I am about a week short of two months into my first semester at college. I've done a lot of different drugs, and I've also done crazy amounts of them too. Between teusday and wednsday I took 370mg of adderall, and i'm still awake from teus. morning. I took 600mg of DXM tonight, but only reached what could be described as the "2nd plateau."
    Out of nowhere I all of a sudden feel more sane than I have in years. I don't feel chemical comfort, or any other type of sedation for that matter; albeit my vision is out of focus, and I really shouldn't drive a car right now due to exhaustion. I feel like the old me again though. the one that my mom raised, whose family takes pride in him. The Jake that can look you in the eye when he talks to you. I feel like I can learn again! I feel sharp as a tack! I don't know what sparked this drastic shift in direction that my life is heading, but I am so thankful for it. I literally felt knots in my shoulders loosen, and kinks in my neck straighten out! I guess the real question is, why did this happen? did dxm and amphetamines seriously just turn my life around? was it god? karma? what is 2 bad 4 ya? we talked on aim for a bit. in any case though, I am me again, and I've never been more proud of that fact.
     
  2. I'm glad you found one of the better parts of a DXM trip, it can lead to some intense enlightening moments. There are tons of times I've dexed and done nothing but speak of existential philosophy with my friends.
     
  3. I'm not so sure it's the dex, man. My mind is the way it used to be again. (For the record I was a bit of a prodigy during my youth) I could read on a 7th grade level in 1st grade kinda thing, eh? I'm being dead serious when I say that I have learned almost nothing in school since around the 8th grade. My short term memory is back like it used to be. 10+ digit numbers are a breeze to repeat. I can feel myself retain things that I make a mental note of. Oh, and it feels nothing like drug induced "intelligence" that I am intimately familiar with. I am so full of vigor to be going on 68 consecutive waking hours. I am debating whether or not i should go on a walk.
     
  4. if i were you i would remember the feeling, memorize it, then try to force yourself to refeel it when needed
     
  5. it's still here :)
    of course the original shock of change has worn off, but i still feel on the ball. it's kinda cool. happened at random; that's what baffles me.
     
  6. this sounds like a great idea

    but yeah good shit man! :D:wave:
     
  7. That dosent sound healthy.
     
  8. why not? your brain is really powerful, and the way you see the world is through your memories and the way you percieve things, it isnt necessarily the way that shit went down, and even if it was, it's your choice to get all worked up about it, or just chill out and forget it. all that we really have is our consiousness and reality, everything else is just like little pictures of movies in our brain that remember things the way we remember them, nothing really happened. its all about mindset
     

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