I graduated from college five years ago. Shortly before that I met someone who became my first boyfriend, the father of my son, and the love of my life. We went through a serious rough patch and split up days before our son's second birthday. It has been 15 months. After about a year of being split up I started second guessing our separateness. I started yearning to be a family unit, and to find a way to work it out. Unfortunately, I was two late. Just as I was able to begin my confessions to him, he began a new relationship. After agonizing for the last three months, I finally bared my soul to him. I laid everything out on the table. I now know, without any doubt, that we will never be together again and I am absolutely devastated. I always just assumed that we would get back together again. How do I move on? How can I bring myself to get over it? Wanting something so badly and having no way to achieve it is absolutely... exhausting.
Yeah shit that like that sucks especially when you think they're the one. But you just have to not think about them and accept the fact that you two won't be together again. Same thing happened to me and It just takes time that's all.
Time is the only thing that will mend a broken heart. I would start hanging out more with friends to take your mind of of him, when parenthood allows of course. Find the 1st cute person and ask them out, the more dates you go on the easier it'll get. I promise you this!
I have had two boyfriends since we broke up, and having a kid makes it so hard. I just want to do family things. I want to be a family, and I can't expect that from any guy. And my son is such a good boy. He loves his mommy AND his daddy... I just wish we could have grown up before it was too late. I mean, we're both 28... so we're not really "young."
Remember that you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. Being with your ex would satisfy the hole in your heart, but not in any true way, since you would know your ex doesn't feel the same about you. Try to remember what it's like to REALLY be in love, and be loved in return. You deserve that every day in a relationship. If it has fizzled out, so has the relationship, and that's beyond your control.
I just feel so stupid. I just assumed that we'd end up getting back together at some point. I don't know why. He broke up with me, tried to get me back, and I just...rebelled, I guess...and he did try to get back with me. I turned him down. But I always left it open for the future. I'm glad he's finding happiness. But sooo jealous.
Nothing but time is going to heal that wound. And as time goes by, you'll meet a guy who's better than that deadbeat and you're set.
Don't feel stupid... I just got broken up with recently by the ex-love of my life, who talked about marriage and children excitedly for months before the breakup. Just like i said, try to remember that having someone who fully loves you back is the best thing in the universe, and you have that to look forward to
Not to sound like a dick, but... If he tried to get you back and you turned him down then I would agree that you can only blame yourself for the situation you're in. That being said, Do him a favor and NOT try to interfere with his new relationship, as that wouldn't be fair to him. Also, you shouldn't date anyone until you're completely over him, because again, that wouldn't be fair to the poor guys looking for a relationship only to find someone still holding onto their ex. Been there, that SUCKS.
Tonight is confessional night for me, rough night. My Ex wife bailed with my 15 month old son 3 years ago. Money issues. I went through hating her, wanting her back, to being pretty decent friends with her at this point, and I've even met her new dude, and he's a pretty stand up guy. Not your exact story, but I guess I can relate a little. I gotta say, since I dont know the circumstances of why you guys broke up, etc, I would only offer this, and I'm sure I dont have to tell you this, but, I always did what I thought was best for my kid when dealing with my ex. I hated her, but I was cool with her, and even let the anger go when we were all around together. When I wanted her back, I knew it wasn't right ultimately. I couldn't possibly take a chance of having us get back together, only to have us divorce again down the road, when problems arise. Divorce is the roughest, worst, most awful thing I've ever been through, so I can imagine with the added things you are talking about with wanting your ex back, etc, it's gotta be massively rough for you too. You're not alone. Hang in there. Hope some of this helps.
like the others said.. only time will heal. You'll eventually find what you are looking for... You're still way young and have plenty of time. Be thankful you have a happy and healthy kid.. and enjoy your time w/ him. peace to you and your son.
We broke up because we were immature and unwilling to compromise, but we have always put our son first. We have been civil, even friendly, and despite our personal feelings for one another, we treat eachother with respect. Our son takes all priority.
How you fairing Melassy? For me it helped to take a few days to wallow so that I could continue my life when I was done. After 3.5 years with my ex I completely forgot my own worth and value. But I found them again!!
[quote name='"dudedude4"']How you fairing Melassy? For me it helped to take a few days to wallow so that I could continue my life when I was done. After 3.5 years with my ex I completely forgot my own worth and value. But I found them again!![/quote] I'm OK It just becomes so much more complicated with our son involved. I had a better day, today. Just trying to move forward and keep my head up, and be strong.
damn i dont have any advice for you but i can understand what youre going through and can only tell you that you seem good at heart(compared to some of the girls we see these days), dont forget that... he may or may not return but theres still someone that needs you to focus and be happy for him. the kid needs you and needs you to be happy so he can be happy... you still have the capacity to share your love and care with him.