[quote name='"ChronBong"']hello everybody, i wanted to ask all of you a question, especially you girls who are shy yourself. how do you work? you guys give so many mixed signals and are just sooo confusing. this girl ive been talking to is quite shy i believe. ive been talking to her for probably about 3 weeks or so. when i smile at her, sometimes she will smile with a cute goofy smile and other times she will sort of just look over. it seems like shes a bit uninterested in me sometimes and im not sure if its because i havent been the most confident guy around her. ive been trying to take things slow with her because i respect her and dont want to make her uncomfortable. its almost obvious she likes me but i dont want to ruin anything. i just wanted feedback on how us men should treat them so that we dont hurt their feelings or embarrass them. ive been talking to the girl every morning in the hall before class and i gave her a ride home one day (the ride home went great) but im still not positive we have broken the comfort zone with each other. im pretty shy myself so its difficult to lead her. my main question is, how can you tell if a girl is uninterested or if she is just shy? any advice?[/quote] wow, i'm in a similar situation myself with a shy girl. every time we meet up we end up hanging out for long as hell; last time one of her friends literally had to pull her away to make her go to flute practice (she was just going to be late to it). literally every time we've hung out we haven't left til one of us absolutely had to. its hard to explain, but whenever i talk to her and we're looking in each others' eyes anyone could tell we like each other (and they have, on several occasions, including the vice principal(what a bitch) who happened to mention it to my mom). and we're always talking to the exclusion of everyone else, when someone else shows up ad tries to get in on the conversation we'll be like slowly pushing them out of it, not in a rude way but within a minute they kind of realize theyre not wanted. problem is, unlike you i'm not fortunate enough to have any classes with her so its only rarely we get to talk, and its hard to just start a conversation with her. once it starts, it goes graet, but its like you have to break the shyness barrier first. she lives like an hour from my school so she can't hang around after school without planning it in advance; and like i said she's shy so that hasnt happened yet. i think next time i have a chance to talk to her i'm going to throw in a handful of compliments; although of course its anyones guess when that will be. but im eager to hurry it up; if it doesnt work out i want to return to sanity as soon as possible (imo, no guy is totally sane if you like a girl). so, i also would like an answer to the op's question.
Oh sorry I probably should have mentioned that I was just using a movie as an example. In practice, movies rarely work, although if shes into it then you lucked out. Hookah lounges work pretty well, ice skating works ok if she knows how to skate, or a club if you're +21. As for the corny lines I agree they work but only use one, you dont want her to think you're getting your game out of some magazine printed in 1968.
[quote name='"Santas Spy"'] Oh sorry I probably should have mentioned that I was just using a movie as an example. In practice, movies rarely work, although if shes into it then you lucked out. Hookah lounges work pretty well, ice skating works ok if she knows how to skate, or a club if you're +21. As for the corny lines I agree they work but only use one, you dont want her to think you're getting your game out of some magazine printed in 1968.[/quote] lol this is off topic but.... hookah lounge... was that serious? cuz where i live its considered wierd to go to those, like no one i know ever has, but maybe thats specific to nj. but id love to hang at a hookah bar, never been to one before but i know where one is. maybe i should move to part of the country where that's common, sounds chill as fuck
Yeah it serious, people not in high school go to them to chill with their Adult aged friends and smoke tasty tabaccy
This is some of the best advice that I have seen. Be patient, get to know her, and slowly get her to open up. Give her some attention, and hold the confidence for both of you. Once she starts to open up, then you be the one to give herself more confidence. As mentioned above, these are usually the keepers. Been with my shy girl for over 25 years. Have officially spent more of my life with her rather than without her...and it has been the best part of my life!!! Good luck, and be patient!
[quote name='"vodkanerd"'] Yeah it serious, people not in high school go to them to chill with their Adult aged friends and smoke tasty tabaccy [/quote] this may surprise you, but just because i'm in high school doesnt mean i dont know people who are "adult aged". technically i am, but not 19 so cant go to hookah bars. not only that, i'm aware of what the norms are for adults in my area, and hookah bars are not one of them. but that does sound fucking sweet. i think once im 19 next summer i will try to get a few friends to go to one with me... it sounds pretty chill.
i have a related question for this thread: do shy girls like us guys to act like we're shy as well? or do they want us to make up for their shyness with confidence? shy first, and then confident once you get to know them?
thats exactly what im wondering. i think they want you to make it up with confidence because i heard that the girl only likes me as a friend i guess. the main reason is because at this dance, i didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable and i dont like dancing so i was just really awkward and didnt grind with her really. and when we did it was just weird. i guess that ruined my shot. so be confident with them so it will let them be confident around you!
No. As terrible as this sounds, there is just never as easy of an attraction with shy guys. Girls like guys to make the first move, like him to take the reins in the relationship. I can't tell you how much it ANNOYS me when a guy is shy with me. Maybe it is because I'm just not a shy person, but I definitely get bored with shy guys really fast.
[quote name='"BunnyToast"'] No. As terrible as this sounds, there is just never as easy of an attraction with shy guys. Girls like guys to make the first move, like him to take the reins in the relationship. I can't tell you how much it ANNOYS me when a guy is shy with me. Maybe it is because I'm just not a shy person, but I definitely get bored with shy guys really fast.[/quote] cool cool, i asked around and this was the 99% concensus... that was the path i've been taking with this girl currently so i'm glad. the only thing that's annoying is, how are we supposed to tell if shy girls like us or not? i'm pretty sure this girl does like me but honestly who knows
Get her out of her comfort zone and treat her like any other girl. Don't be too careful or else you'll be nothing but a friend for sure, you gotta make her think and drive her crazy
Just talk to her, get to know her and hang out with her. If she hangs out with you then it must mean you're doin something right. Look at her body language cause that will tell alot about how she feels towards you. I wish you luck with her and I hope everything goes well. I'm a shy girl and I don't really hang around people that I'm not interested in or comfortable around them