hello everybody, i wanted to ask all of you a question, especially you girls who are shy yourself. how do you work? you guys give so many mixed signals and are just sooo confusing. this girl ive been talking to is quite shy i believe. ive been talking to her for probably about 3 weeks or so. when i smile at her, sometimes she will smile with a cute goofy smile and other times she will sort of just look over. it seems like shes a bit uninterested in me sometimes and im not sure if its because i havent been the most confident guy around her. ive been trying to take things slow with her because i respect her and dont want to make her uncomfortable. its almost obvious she likes me but i dont want to ruin anything. i just wanted feedback on how us men should treat them so that we dont hurt their feelings or embarrass them. ive been talking to the girl every morning in the hall before class and i gave her a ride home one day (the ride home went great) but im still not positive we have broken the comfort zone with each other. im pretty shy myself so its difficult to lead her. my main question is, how can you tell if a girl is uninterested or if she is just shy? any advice?
SHE IS INTERESTED it will suck if she is the kind of insecure shy and would probably be too much trouble for nothing
Breathing, eating, shitting, pissing, drinking. Heh nah, just spend time together man and as she begins to find out who you really are the barriers will come down. If she was uninterested she probably would have declined the ride home, just be yourself dude.
^ What he said. There's a fine line between shy and secure and shy and insecure, and usually at a younger age girls are going to be insecure. This branches off into a whole other realm of relationship possibilities, most of which are probably negative. But there is only one way to find out, but I suggest you have to be more assertive with shy girls. Ask her out to coffee sometime, if she says yes then that's a good first step. They take some time but once she opens up you can START to see who she really is, although some girls have secrets that don't even begin to brush the surface until several months into a relationship... Anyways goodluck lol don't mean to scare you, i've just had bad experiences with a few girls
The best thing to do with shy girls is spend a lot of time with them (but try not to be clingy!). The more you talk to them and the more you open up to each other the easier it will be. Hang out with her in situations she is most comfortable in. When it comes to asking her out, be sure to tell her in person but with not a lot of people around. Ask her simply if you guys could go to the movies, go eat dinner together, or something. But only ask her out after you notice she has become more comfortable around you.
im thinking shes interested too. but when i gave her the ride home, i was walking by and heard her telling her friends that she has to walk home so i just asked if she needed one and she had to take time to think about it. im thinking its because she was just nervous to actually get in the car with me. and this morning i was standing at her class and smiled to her and she didnt really smile back and after like 10 seconds of talking she said she had to go in because something about her teacher. i couldnt really hear her. it probably wasnt an excuse and she meant it but ive been having a problem with overthinking all of our situations. i just really want a commitment to happen because ive only had one gf in my life and i really like her. thanks guys. im thinking i just need to take things slow first.
Judging from your reading, she does like you. Just walk up and give her a couple flowers. Tell her you like her and see what happens. Keep it thuggin'
She got in your car bro, I'm sure she trusts you to some extent. Just ask her to the movies or to go out for lunch to chill sometime or something. Depending on how the date goes, "blah blah blah had a great time, I definitely like to again".
awwww! OP i think she really likes you!!!! you need to let her know that you like her, thats the best thing to do with a shy girl. if you don't she will begin to think you are uninterested and start to shy away from you again. you've begun to build her trust, by giving her a ride home, just continue doing stuff like that..and then once you feel like she is comfortable around you or comfortable enough around you just tell her!
thanks a lot i really think she does too but its just hard for me to take advantage of the oppurtunity! i joined the indoor track team because she said she was doing it so im trying to get to know her better that way. my excuse is that i need to stay in shape for lacrosse though it just started yesterday and we both didnt go to practice then so i offered her the ride. today she said she was gonna go but she never did so when i talk to her in the morning im going to say something along the lines of "hey you shouldve been at practice last night! it wouldve been a lot funner if you were there!" and while im saying this im going to gently put my hand on her shoulder. ive been doing a lot of research online for tips and advice on girls because im not good with them and i really like her. and ive realized i cant be JUST friends with her. i need to step it up and give her signs that i like her to keep it interesting so im going to try to break the touch barrier with her and just flirt more in person. after practice if she goes im just gonna offer her rides home so we can have alone time and i think one day in the car ill just pop the question and see if she wants to go to the movies.
i havent mentioned anything to her about how she is being shy or not talkative or any of that. i dont want to make her feel insecure about herself. ive mentioned things similar to that like how she didnt text me back or something small but ive made sure to say it in a teasing tone so that she can tell im kidding and it was only used to keep the conversation going when we first started talking in person but i try not to point out things like that so that she doesnt thing im clingy or annoying or that i think something is wrong with her.
Hate to burst some bubbles but most of the advice so far is going to lead you straight into the friend zone. The fact that shes shy means that shes doesn't feel comfortable about taking the initiative, so you have to. Shy girls want to you be decisive, if you just wait around for them to open up its never going to happen until its too late. Ask her to go to a movie with you or something because that shows you want to want to spend time with her as opposed to getting coffee or something since to shy girls that just means "I dont want to get coffee alone". You need to be very confident and upfront about having an interest in her or she wont feel comfortable about joining you on a romantic excursion. If you are like "Umm...I was just wondering if uhh...you wanted to go see a movie or something sometime?" she will take your lack of confidence for disinterest (I have no idea how women connect the two concepts but that how it works) and she will either make up some excuse or she'll go and be uncomfortable the whole time. You need to walk up to her confidently, smile, look her in the eyes and say "Why don't you and I go see a movie tonight?". Once she says yes and the date is on you need to keep taking the initiative. Instead of saying "Do you want some popcorn?" you say "I'm going to get some popcorn do you want some?". To the former she will say no and get even more withdrawn and shy, to the latter the fact that you have already made the decision to get some will make her more comfortable since her decision doesn't really matter anymore because even if she says she doesn't want any shes still going to eat yours. After a while your confidence will rub off on her even if you have to fake it the whole time.
She might be even more shy around you. If she thinks your cute. I have this problem. Before I started dating my boyfriends I thought he was the shizzzniz. And whenever I was with him it was hard to talk because I would have anxiety attacks. He still to this day doesnt know. haha. But when I'm around a guy who's cute I become more shy then normal. And no movie or dinner dates. A girl doesnt want to not talk on a date. Or have you watch her eat.. For the first date. Get to know her. Does she like Snowboarding, Ice Fishing? Do something fu!. You need to just go for it. Shy girl you do have to take it more slow. But the shy ones are ushally keepers. Dont say anything about her being shy. She will get inescure. Take your time. Girl's like when guy's take the time to get to know them. And will wait for her to be ready. Dont wait too long though. Ask her out on a fun date. All my girlfriends, including me dont like dinner or movie dates. Too cornnyy. Shy girl's ushally like outgoing guys. And ushally have a thing for the guy but doesnt know how to handle it. Tell her she looks beautiful today. Corny dates are a no, but Corny lines we love. Let her know you like her.
[quote name='"BlazedCannabis"']She might be even more shy around you. If she thinks your cute. I have this problem. Before I started dating my boyfriends I thought he was the shizzzniz. And whenever I was with him it was hard to talk because I would have anxiety attacks. He still to this day doesnt know. haha. But when I'm around a guy who's cute I become more shy then normal. And no movie or dinner dates. A girl doesnt want to not talk on a date. Or have you watch her eat.. For the first date. Get to know her. Does she like Snowboarding, Ice Fishing? Do something fu!. You need to just go for it. Shy girl you do have to take it more slow. But the shy ones are ushally keepers. Dont say anything about her being shy. She will get inescure. Take your time. Girl's like when guy's take the time to get to know them. And will wait for her to be ready. Dont wait too long though. Ask her out on a fun date. All my girlfriends, including me dont like dinner or movie dates. Too cornnyy. Shy girl's ushally like outgoing guys. And ushally have a thing for the guy but doesnt know how to handle it. Tell her she looks beautiful today. Corny dates are a no, but Corny lines we love. Let her know you like her.[/quote] i know now! hahahaha anxiety attacks? its because im stunning! ;P
well i gave her a ride home today again and before she got out of the car i told her that she should let me take her out to a movie this weekend to make up for making a fool of myself at this dance we were at. i definitely saw some good signs. i wouldve thought of a better idea for a date but there isnt much to do around my town so its the best i could think of on the spot. i myself would prefer to do something else just so we can get to know each other better but im gonna try my best to make it fun