I don't mean to make this sound as if I know what the differences are, it's more of a topic to get input from others about it because it's something I think about alot and why the two never really work, especially during adolescence. For me, I'm 18 and after two relationships I realised that some girls really need you in their life, it's their crutch and without it they are a mess in a sense (not to say some guys are like this too, I just find it's more common in girls but again correct me if im wrong) Also, just from talking with other guys about it and such, I also kind of feel that girls view relationships as a different thing from guys. To them, it's a very special, mature connection between two people and it's very special.. Because well, it's the first step to getting married, having a husband, having kids, all really important things in life that you have to think about sometime. But for a guy, I find that we don't really consider this option too much in a relationship all that much.. we know it's coming but for the time being it's more of just someone to have in your life that makes you happy, that you can cuddle with and just have to hold and embrace, someone to spend time with.. but yet we still don't view it on the same level as girls. To get to my point, this is mostly why I am quite hesitant to start a relationship with a girl. Mostly because I know if i'm not in love I probably am not gonna be too interested in it, and eventually probably leave for some reason.. but I'm also kind of scared to even get involved in that. Being in a relationship, especially now that i'm entering the late teens and early 20's get kind of serious, and if I don't think i'll have that kind of commitment to it I really don't think it's worth getting into... and probably eventually breaking the girls heart of just hurting her in some way. I'm a very empathetic guy, and for me I hate it when I upset someone or have hurt someone. I care too much and in the end it's just something I can't help but I don't enjoy at all. Give me your thoughts on all of this, because I'd also like to know if this is all true and if i should look into relationships this much or simply just do it anyways. Thanks
Gender certainly may play a roll in this, my friend. But I'm sticking to the "Everyone is different" conclusion. I'm a chick and I relate more to the "male" opinion on relationships.
I don't know if it's true but some girls view relationships like those disney movies, thinking prince charming will save them and live happily ever after, life doesn't work like that. If you both people connect well, have things in common, tolerant each other then why not commit and start something but if not you could always wait till your late 20s that's what most people do.
Man OP I'm feelin pretty similar now, and I'm in a relationship. I'm just happy doing our thing, she makes me really happy, and I'm cool with all that, but its like she wants so much more. Already wanting to move for me and wanting to be with me forever basically, met this girl 4 months ago. I'm a really empathetic guy as well, and its scary thinking that someone else's life is so dependent on mine, like if I want to end things it would just crush her and I think about it all the time knowing that I'm still really young and chances are that she's not the one... but she's made it pretty clear she wants to be, and just that fact scares me a bit that she's already so far in but I'm not even really thinking about that shit right now. Not to say that this is the case with all women, but seems common I suppose...
I don't care about getting married. I would like a guy to be able to think of me like that, but I don't really care if I get married. I'm not sure I even want to.... I know a lot of girls that like think about getting married and having kids and shit all the time, but idk that's not me. I have a kid and I think one is enough, she's like my little partner, me and her are cool together and I like it being just us. But I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either if that makes sense. I think that comes from seeing my mom be single for my whole life. She's never even dated. It would suck to never go on a date for 18 plus years. You should just date casually if that's how you feel though dude. Or get yourself a bestfriend. I don't have a bf but I have a bestfriend, which takes care of my bf needs without commitment. I talk to him just about everyday, we hang out, go on dates, and have sex if we feel like it. Shit we even tell eachother we love (not meaning in love, but that we've known eachother for years and we love eachother like friends) eachother sometimes. Its works great for us.
OP You're only 18. Still very young. Ten years ago you were 8! When you are 28, hopefully you will have met some real women. You'll learn that very special connections are rare. And when you're older, you shouldn't just date anyone just because they're "there". But You're young so get experience and refine your tastes for later in life . I'm a girl and I have, as you put, a "male's view" on relationships. I am pretty independent, and most "boys" get upset that I dont NEED them like their exes. If youve got some game, I'd advise to try and date older girls. They are usually more down for having fun and not getting attached.
[quote name='"CannibalO"']Man OP I'm feelin pretty similar now, and I'm in a relationship. I'm just happy doing our thing, she makes me really happy, and I'm cool with all that, but its like she wants so much more. Already wanting to move for me and wanting to be with me forever basically, met this girl 4 months ago. I'm a really empathetic guy as well, and its scary thinking that someone else's life is so dependent on mine, like if I want to end things it would just crush her and I think about it all the time knowing that I'm still really young and chances are that she's not the one... but she's made it pretty clear she wants to be, and just that fact scares me a bit that she's already so far in but I'm not even really thinking about that shit right now. Not to say that this is the case with all women, but seems common I suppose...[/quote] Damn man o thought I wrote that after I read it haha.
I changed so much from when i was 14. And that was only 5 years ago. I know alot of girls that will get into a relationship and just perpetuate drama 24/7.... Which is why i dont really seek girls my age cuz most of them are obnoxious once you get to know them. Im waiting till my 20s to actually find a relationship.
Not to mention the age of the girls hes dating. You'll change a shit load again in another 4 years. And quite possibly another, and another.
I use to crave and want a girlfriend but ever since I matured and smoked a lot, I just don't care anymore I'm happy being an independent guy besides I got the two loves I need - Maryjane and Music. But it would be nice having a fuck buddy though to take away the stress.
Yeah man, been through it all too. Something else i've come to realise in life is that if the girl is trying to pursue you and basically trying to get you to ask her out.. forget about it. You wanna pursue a girl that isn't gonna be so easily persuaded, someone with a life of their own and their own goals and happiness, not someone who needs a guy in their life to be happy. My first 2 girlfriends basically did the persueing of me. The first, a depressed wreck who cut her wrists. The second, a family and friend deprived wreck aswell who constantly needed to be talking to me and if I said wrong she'd be depressed for the day. Both complete psychos, and now I know better.
I was going to write this, but I'm glad i actually read the replies. LOL. The older you get you'll notice relationships changing. Right now the girls you know are all about having a boyfriend for validation, once they find happiness in themselves you'll notice them being less needy and less relient on your attention. I don't need anyone to make me happy, except my kitty cat.
We can share my pussy... but I'll warn you... he only likes me. Oh yeah and i just put flea medicine on his neck, so don't scratch him there, even though he really wants you to.