House breakin ~ joke

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by IceCreamKidd, May 19, 2004.

  1. A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably damned dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute,and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you too!"
  2. Haha, quite the irony.
  3. OOOooooh my god.......that was a good one. Thanks
  4. mine is similiar

    ok this guy owns a motorcycle who he is crazy in love with, and everytime it rains he goes and puts vaseline on the bike to protect the paint, so he ends up taking his girl on it to their parents house where he meets them for the first time

    they have a rule there if you are the first to talk during dinner you have to do the dishes, so he takes advantage

    first he takes his girl and does her on the table, both the parents and her are shocked but keep quiet

    He then takes the mother and does the same thing, by this time the father is outraged but keeps quiet.

    it starts raining so the guy runs to his bag and pulls out a bottle of vaseline, and the father stands up and says ok fine ill do the god damn dishes

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