Honesty is Key

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by YouBritta'dIt, Jul 2, 2017.

  1. Whaddup, blades. 21 and I live at home because I go to a uni that's a short drive away and it makes more sense to live with the 'rents. A week ago, right as I came home from work, my mom confronted me that she had found my paraphernalia. I've been smoking for almost a year to help with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and appetite.

    The worst possible thing I could have done is lie to her, or try to downplay my use. So many teens that get caught end up lying to their parents. Your parents aren't stupid, they know, or they at least know you're lying about something. How many times have we lied to our parents only to realize later that they totally knew? Why would this time suddenly be different?


    So since then, I've been completely honest with my parents about how much, when, and why I smoke weed and they've been shockingly chill about it. My parents are white, moderately conservative Christians. We live in the southeast. We are not in a legal state and it won't be legal here for some time, from how it looks.

    My parents are not thrilled about my use and have confiscated my bag where I had stashed most of my gear, but told me that they are probably going to give it back after my appointments with a new counselor (I haven't had counseling in years) and my primary care physician, depending on what they say. In the meantime, I found a pipe (the first one I ever bought), a lighter, and my vaporizer with some herb left in it. I told my mom that I found these things and told her that, in compliance, I won't smoke/vape anything until after my appointments this week. I have kept my word. She hasn't tried to take anything else from me. I also bought an oz of Girl Scout Cookies a few days ago and told her about that, too, and she wasn't super happy but as long as I don't smoke/vape without permission, she's okay with me keeping it. I told her I couldn't pass it up for the price ($225!!!!!!!) and that I was running low anyway, and if my doctor gives me the "green" light then I'd have to buy more anyway and odds are my weed human would have run out of this strain by then. My mom understands not wanting to pass up a good deal.

    So now it's the waiting game. I'm meeting with the new counselor tomorrow to discuss my mental health history and my use. I am meeting with my doctor later this week to discuss my use and to request a sleep study. In the meantime, my mom ordered CW Advanced Every Day hemp oil from CO for me to use as a substitute and for something I can use during the fall semester that won't affect my ability to study.

    My mom is a registered nurse and is proceeding as if we are in a medical state, i.e. informing my doctor and proceeding from there. I don't know what my doctor is legally allowed to say, and my mom isn't sure either, but I'm not very worried because I have a good doctor to begin with.

    My dad didn't even know it was weed when my mom showed it to him, so he's following my mom's lead in handling this.

    Moral of this story: don't lie to your parents if they catch you. If you're using weed as medicine like I've been, and if your parents are reasonable and willing to educate themselves, it's going to be okay.

    The only reason I kept it a secret for so long is because I feared their response, and now I see that I could have been straightforward with them about this and maybe by now I could have been toking up with permission instead of going on an involuntary t-break while waiting for these appointments.

    If you're an adult (18+), live at home, and smoke at home, consider telling your parents. Better to be honest and straightforward than sneak around waiting to get caught. If you handle it like an adult, they'll treat you like one. And if you do get caught, again, be a grown up about it and own up. Don't lie, don't yell, don't argue. Don't get nasty with them or they'll lose any respect they have for you and for your autonomy.

    I'm one of the lucky ones. I can talk openly about weed with my parents now. My mom even joked that one day we might sit together and smoke. They still trust me not to smoke/vape until we come to an agreement, even after telling them that I still have the means to do so if I wanted to (but I don't want to because that would be stupid). And if it comes down to me not smoking the ganja while I live with them, big deal, I'll hopefully be living on my own in a couple years (after I graduate) and I can do whatever I want then. For now, it's more important to show respect to the people who have gone above and beyond to give me a good life.

    Your relationships with people are more important than your relationship with weed. Family doesn't grow on trees.

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  2. I agree with just about everything that you have said. other then telling them how much money you spend on weed and when your smoke. Not trying to sound rude but ... mummy can I smoke my weed ... mate asking permission is pathetic. Your an adult, come on if you need to smoke get out side keep you stash away from your family. It's about being respectful but I would not go as far as telling them everything. Like would you go tell your parents " I just had sex" no you would not . But you might hint if the topic come up that you are "safe" doing it. I night be wrong here but that just my opinion.

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  3. OP, you're 21. If you were in a legal state this wouldn't be half the issue it is now.

    It sounds like your mom is doing what most "regular" people would do, and that is getting their next cues from a licensed physician. This is generally a good idea in terms of medical situations, but considering that you are in an illegal state, it is most likely that the doctor will only recommend and support legally approved substances.
    I'd be very surprised if an illegal state doctor came out and told your family that it's a-ok that you continue smoking.

    Might want to be prepared for negative dr. feedback, and be ready to point out to your family that this is an issue of geography-related state law, not common sense.
  4. On sale means on sale. Instant rebates are a thing of the past thanks to Groupon.

    tbh tho tl;dr
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  5. Yes, if we were in a legal state, my parents wouldn't care nearly to this degree.

    My mom and I have the same doctor, so I was worried that my mom could figure what my doctor would say and that it would not be in favor of me smoking weed. However, my doctor basically told me that as long as what I'm doing is helping me be healthy, there is evidence to support that so who is she to say...and she deliberately trailed off so I finished her sentence "that what I'm doing is wrong?" And she nodded her head and smiled. She did everything she could to legally give me the "okay", and I told my mom this and now my parents are much more relaxed.

    I did go into the appointment prepared for a negative response. With the state we're in, finding a doctor that is willfully ignorant about medical marijuana would not be hard. Luckily, my doctor understands that it's 2017 and tries to keep up with recent research.

    All in all, this was the best case scenario.

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  6. Your parents sound like dicks for stealing your stash, my parents let me smoke weed they even make jokes about me being high lol
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  7. I agree with everything you say, but i could not go on an "involuntary T-break". I would tell them I am going to smoke. Doctors, counselers, whatever. i love this stuff and i'm gonna smoke it. Period.
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  8. If you can afford to buy ounces of good weed, why not get your own place?

    "I'm saving money living with mom & dad while going to the Uni" is a super lame way to spend the years 18-21..and you cheat yourself - out of not only life experiences but you also draw out the process it takes to become a self-sufficient adult.

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  9. There's some truth to this, although it can be a tough choice between having more freedom versus saving up money to do with what you please later in life. Maybe you can have a compromise and get high outside the house, not having to worry about being bugged by parents.
    After uni was over in the summer, we would rent a house and live together, work seasonal jobs to pay for rent, school & have a great time.

    It depends where you live also, apartment prices around here are insane. There may be more freedom living at home because in apartments you can't really make a lot of noise, jerk landlords/neighbours, etc
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  10. "Your relationships with people are more important than your relationship with weed. Family doesn't grow on trees."

    Thats really sweet. It is great that they care so much about you and have alot of standards for you.
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  11. Eh, but I understand why they did what they did. I'm 21 but I'm too broke to move out (I do have a job but it's kind of a weird one and I only work when I'm needed, plus I'm earning my undergrad in clinical bio) so as long as I live with them, I need to give them a degree of respect. They did take my stuff but they didn't throw away any weed and gave it all back to me when my doctor gave the "okay". So I respect them a lot for how they handled it. It could have been a lot worse and yes, it sucked for two weeks but I got through it and the relationship I have with my parents is still healthy.

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  12. I really am too broke to move out. I own two horses that they are helping me with financially...as in, they pay for everything but I do all of the work taking care of them. I trained one of them from scratch. We bought her for $800 from my trainer and now she's worth $10,000 to $12,000. So it's not like I don't have money I guess, but until I sell her it's in the form of a horse. I'm going to buy a trailer with that money so that I can move my other horse out of the shitty barn where I board, that'll run me around $6000. The rest is going into a savings account where I won't touch it except for emergencies. Maybe it'll be a down payment someday.

    If I didn't have horses, I still probably wouldn't move out until after I graduate. See, the uni I go to is only 15 minutes from my house, and 5 minutes from my barn. I live for free, my parents aren't paying room and board (in addition to everything they already provide me with), I've got it pretty good right now.

    I can afford ounces of good weed, but not an apartment/mortgage/car payment/groceries/etc. Some people buy clothes or makeup or dumb shit they don't need, all I use my money for is dates (we take turns paying for when we go out) and weed. The rest, I save it for a rainy day.

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  13. Another note about the horses: it's therapy for me. Owning horses taught me discipline, responsibility, and patience. It's not just "awww look at the pretty horsie I want to ride it and love it forever". I've toughened up from ownership and it's helped build confidence as well as being something I enjoy doing. So many people hear a girl owns a horse and immediately stereotype. Some people like chess, some people like fishing, some people like horses.

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  14. It's been a few more weeks since this all went down, and I'm happy to report that my parents have stayed pretty neutral about my toking up. I've been taking care of myself and I've been on time to all of my classes, getting my homework done on time and all that, so they don't really have a reason to complain about it. I've been respectful and helpful and our house feels like home. It's nice when things work out for the best.

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  15. They are going to kick you out of the house.
  16. I enjoyed reading this thread , very wholesome :)

    Actually laughed out loud when I got to the part about the horses , I don't know why.. maybe just wasn't expecting it . Who knew horses could make such great investments !

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  17. i applaud your honesty but if u r too broke to move out u r too broke to smoke anything. dont take advantage of the people who subsidize the weed . they are risking their property and freedom because they care for you

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