Healthy Sex Life

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by singlefin, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. Ok so how is your sex life? Mine sucks, I have been with this person for 5 years now and for the past three, sex has gone down hill. No excitement anymore IE: no anal, blind folding, scratch marks!! To top everything off she doesn't make a move anymore.It seems as thou it is more of a choir for her, intill i go down on here or something. She gets in to it when i make a move but other then that i could go weeks without. She says she has multiple orgasms every time we have sex, and she has said that since day one. She is 22 and I am 23 and my sex drive is about 300x greater then hers. I could have sex at least 8-9 times a week!! Any ways enough about me, how is your sex life? What is your age and is it a steady partner or multiple? Crazy sex or romantic? Do you consider it healthy, if not why.
     
  2. #2 DV, Dec 31, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2010
    Idk, I'm in a relationship...for over a year and I have
    to say, obviously it's not as fun as it used to be.
    Definitely not as often. But I've been fucking
    around with my birth control lately and that's
    probably the reason my sex drive has plummeted.
    I'm 20 and he's 23.

    Idk I get bored...not with just positions and stuff,
    but to be honest...I wish guys could morph their
    dick size on command.

    Shh don't tell my bf but I just get bored with his size.
    I want it bigger, fatter, or longer...idk it just all feels
    the same, it feels good, but I want something more
    mysterious and new to conquer.

    For me as a woman, I hate that there is so much
    emphasis on sex. I hate knowing it's on the man's mind
    so much. It just turns me off when you say "hey let's
    have sex" "I want sex" blah blah blah...like no I know
    you do and I do too but I want it more spontaneous.
    Then it really does become like a chore, like "ugh god
    this is what you want yet again, and again..."
    It's like you wanna bitch about us nagging at you for
    whatever yet you nag us to no end for sex all the damn
    time. Like shiiit. Can I just stand for a couple minutes!?

    Honestly I think there's a lot of correlation with how
    the relationship is going. My relationship went through
    a lot of shit this past year and it's been hard for me
    to open back up and have that fun again. We're in a
    good place now and we'll have sex later but it all depends
    on the individual relationship. Just gotta work on it.

    Is it healthy to not have sex, sure. I mean we can't just
    be fucking all the time. Is it healthy to go like months
    and months without it? No...something is wrong and you
    need to communicate with your partner if this is a phase
    or something more serious.
     
  3. #3 million, Dec 31, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2010
    Well that's unfortunate. You guys are a little young for that to be happening already. Have you tried talking to her about it? Um right now I'm single so I have zero sex life, I could but I'm okay with it. When I am taken though, I wanna have sex everyday. I have a really high sex drive. I'm never too tired or have the 'headache'. As much as possible, whenever and wherever we can get away with it. I don't know if that's healthy or not. If I'm in a relationship and we got 3 days without having sex, we got a problem. Well maybe it changes in very very long relationships. The longest I've been in was four years and it was fine.
     
  4. It took me along time to figure myself out (another high epiphany) but I only stay horny in a relationship if I feel cared about. I need to know there is some cuddly sleep at the end of the tunnel if I'm with someone for any length of time! The more affectionate HE is, the more affectionate I will be. I don't mean to make assumptions or anything but it might be worth talking to her about other stuff in the relationship. Maybe even tell her it would turn you on if she initiated sex more often. If you've been together that long, I'm sure your relationship is mature enough to handle that.

    I've only been sexually active with my current boyfriend for about a year and I think sex is better than the first few times. We don't have sex like, 5-6 times a day anymore but usually at least once we will. We know each other a lot more than we did and we're more open about talking about kinks and stuff. Maybe in a few more years, we'll get bored and have to revert to something new.
     
  5. This completely.
    I mean when my relationship went through our shit,
    I noticed right away that he doesn't cuddle with me
    as much, I know he loves me and I don't always want
    to cuddle...but it really hurt me and played with my
    mind, "does he really love me?" "he doesn't want to
    have sex with me" the whole 9. Every morning I would
    wake up with him holding me, and now he never does.

    Hopefully he can work through his issues and get
    back to that...I'm still waiting.
     
  6. @DancingVinodini Tell him, girl! No joke. I know it's easier said than done sometimes but I think sometimes dudes just zone out and don't even realize any difference. :] My boyfriend got a little apathetic for awhile and when I brought it up to him, he really didn't notice and since has been better. Idk, just some friendly advice. :]
     

  7. Oh I've already told him before...
    still nothing has changed. He says he gets
    too hot. Blah Blah...that's BS and I know it.

    For fuck sake we met in the summer and we
    always cuddled regardless. In fact I'm gonna
    bring it up to him again just in case he forgot.
    Can't blame him...a lot of shit on his plate.
     
  8. Lmao, that IS BS. Sleep naked and take those covers off. No excuse then, :p
     
  9. Shit I think you totally just solved my problem.
    In the summer we shared one blanket, but he
    always stole it so he got his own blanket from
    my family and now we sleep with two separate
    blankets.

    Two blankets kill cuddling because you're cuddling
    with yourself. Look at me, making things up in my
    brain again...over analyze much?!
     
  10. Im 4 months in my relationship and we still have the same amount of sex and we love each other so its awesome. She always wants to try new things
     
  11. LOL I think every guy wished he could morph his dick, but i under stand were your coming from. I don't always have sex on my mind and i am never just like "yo wanna fuck?" I just wish she would come in the room in a t-shirt and some sexy boy shorts, I do that shit why can't she? When it comes down to it she knows i am all about pleasing her so IDK, maybe their an under lying problem some where, and she knows that i will come to her. So why bother, right?
     

  12. Ha well like I said communicate! It's most couples
    downfall. And hey if you're all about pleasing her
    let her know, it might get her more excited...tell
    her you want those boy shorts and a tank....

    It never hurts to just say what you want.
    You boys...
     
  13. I do everything for this girl i have been paying her bills since she was 20, i have been putting her through school for the past 2 years she babysits every now and then and makes like forty bucks or some thing, lets see i pay all her credit cards, ALL THE BILLS!!!! LOL i almost forgot she wants me to quit smoking the herb when she becomes a nurse:eek:......She has Tiffany jewelry, I mean the works! Oh and i have told her so many times she needs to change up the routine or what ever she has going on! That last about a week!
     

  14. Okay you left this key part of info out....
    if you do all that and she still doesn't want to have sex
    with you...I would say it sounds like she's using you for
    money and pay for all her shit...and she doesn't have to
    give you nookie...sounds like a jackpot for a gold digger
    to me!

    Again this is speculation....I'd say kick this bird to the curb.
     

  15. That's four months there cowboy.
     
  16. @DV - Glad I could help, haha!


    Wow, man. That's INSANE. I would feel uncomfortable getting that much from anyone. Do you SAY your love a lot? Some people like more verbal affection as opposed to having it acted out. Just some ideas.
    If you've asked her maturely though and she is still not having it, I think that's pretty unfair.
     
  17. I cuddle with her when we watch movies and go to bed, i grad her ass or something if she walks by, I can talk for hours about anything really, I just think i am in a lose lose [​IMG]
     
  18. By a luckier man's standards I have a poor sex life. By my own it's still inadequate, but I realize that I'm just not in a position to meet women right now. Ironic that I'm in college. Here's hoping I can land a job at a restaurant this semester! :smoke:
     

  19. Yeah I get you ,I hope It remains like this forever* you know kinda unrealistic but you can help it out by contributing equally.
     
  20. I've been married for 7 years and with my wife for 10+ and our sex life rocks. Find your soul mate and the rest will take care of itself.
     

Share This Page