Anyone else ever have a shopping experience like this? First off, a little about my self: I don't go clothing shopping. Nor do I go to the "Mall," when I go clothing shopping it's about every 3-4 years. Last time I went was like 9th grade.... still rockin' clothes from the 9th grade... Hah... fuckin hilarious... Ghetto ass me.... then like year I dropped out of HS, 09, was blessed to of stayed back in 10th grade... Go being a stressed out motha fucka, and school being the last of my worries. Ok anyway... Rambling My bro and his GF come to the VFW, where I was eating with my momma, they're like Yo I just copped some clothes for like maddd cheap at JC Penny's it's like 80% clearance. I'm like WORD... that sounds cheap as fuck, for good ass clothes, that I don't have... So I dip after eating, wasn't sure if they said Macy's or JC Penny's and wasn't sure if they were the same store. So I holla'd at them, they were like Penny's, I'm like K, call me when you're at the store. As I walk in I INSTANTLY start smirking like a motha fucka ... The music was so funny, it was really GOOD CLOTHING SHOPPING MUSIC (I thought to my self), the shiny ass floors (I could see my reflection), the colorful ties in a rainbow'esque pattern (I thought, WOW, that's pretty...), the $200 price tags on jackets and coats (I thought WOW that's a rip off) I wouldn't pay more than $10 for that, the women who work there looking at me/thinking I'm gonna BOOST mad clothes (I was like YEAH... I WISH I COULD!). I was just permanently smirked, lol, LAUGHIN' to my self inside the store... So funny.. Fucking Clothes shopping and shit, it's like some exciting thing to me cause I never do it. I was trying SO hard not to Laugh, cause there was MAd people around lol... My BRO gets there and I'm like Oh Fa'SHO! Start Smiling like a motha fucka even more... My BROTHER is up in the Flesh! You holding ALL my shit... I said to him. That's your Job, he's like I'm willing to do what I have to do Brother, I'm like let our JOURNEY BEGIN! He takes me to the Guys section (Why not Men's Section...), I felt like I was in a Desert, and just found an Oasis filled with infinite Wishes. It's a beautiful sight: 80% off sections EVERYWHERE. I'm like . I couldn't Help my self, but to start dancing the whole time I was at the store, this MUSIC that was so fucking TERRIBLE, happen to only be GOOD when SHOPPING... Wow, just wow... So I'm dancing like a fool, sifting through a bunch of Purple and Orange shirts, because that's all that there fucking was, lol... (I guess Men don't rock Purple and Orange much...) I don't know the whole Shopping for Clothes Etiquette, are you supposed to try them on while looking for em? I was. I didn't go to the changing booth. Trying on shirt after shirt, after shirt, lookin' at my FINE self in the Mirror... lol. Fuckin up all the beautifully folded shirts... Feeling like a dick, cause I SUCK at folding shirts... I just kinda flopped the arms behind the shirt and that was it... I tried.... I came acrossed this PGA Golf Brand Shirt... And immediately thought it was "Tiger Woods's" Clothing Line... Cause in my Head, PGA = Tiger Woods. And I was like: Ayo, to my bro, "I gotta start cheating on my wife if I'm be rockin this shirt!" said it mad loud, cause I'm a loud fuck... Me and my Bro start laughing like fuck.. There was this women next to me who gave me such a dirty look, and started walking away... I was like "I ain't even MARRIED!... Jeez... It's called a JOKE." Continued laughing... My bro was like my Tour Guide... Showed me to the $4 T shirt Section, and I was like OH FA SHO! Tried on a XXL Black T, and saw there was a Video Camera Footage thing above me, and was Like Doing 360 spins and shit watching my self on the camera... My bro fucking LEFT because his arm was so fucking tired from holding all my clothes, and my winter coat. I was like a lost puppy at the moment... Was so confused... Who... Who... Who is gonna hold my clothing!? And like that he was gone... All alone, abandonded in JC Penny's... Continued my dancing and what not, trying on clothes in the middle of the store. I got tired of looking at the same ass clothes in different sizes, then his GF came, and accompanied me. I was like Yo, my Bro just left to look for you... And she was like this stupid fuck never picks up his phone... I was like yeah, I know... She left, because I was too embarassing for her liking... Psssssssssssssssssssssssh, Get outta here! My bro eventually came back and continued to assist me. Like a good Older Brother should! I saw this Leather Jacket with no tags on it, so I thought some dumbass left it... Then I thought WAIT A SECOND! This is some sort of a JC Penny's Trap! They want me to think it's a customers Jacket and steal it... And when I steal it, SECURITY will AMBUSH me jumping out from the coat racks, disguised as mannequins... You know their security got their A game... Or so I imagined... So I didn't. I saw it was just a tagless jacket, when I saw a sea of jackets... Oh but it was soooo Fly, I wanted it... But fuck $40.... that's outrageous... I spend no more than $8 on my clothing... FUCK That. I ended up getting some fly ass sweater thing for going out to restaurants/family ordeals/when I wanna be a sexier motha fucka, 3 polos, a south pole fly ass jacket that makes me feel like I'm Hip Hop, Long sleeve Polo, and a Black T... Ended up spending like $40.89, with a savings of $152, which to me is badass... that's how Po'People get DOWN! I saw these weird Black and Red iradescent pants... Was fuckin weird, lol.. Like some Michael Jackson shit (RIP). TLDR: I can make a fucking extravaganza outta doing something like clothing shopping.... My bro was a wonderful tour guide around JC Penny's until he ditched me because his arm got tired from holding all the clothes/my big ass coat. I felt like a lost puppy at the moment. Then continued dancing around trying clothes on, having a good time listening to this lame ass music, that coincides wonderfully with Clothing Shopping......... That's about it... Sorry this story probably sucks... WAS WAY COOLER if you were ME and experienced it.... I just am bored and felt like writing... PEACE and Be SAFE Guad