Gross smoking experience

So I was getting ready to post this in the
"grossest thing you've ever smoked" thread over in the "Seasoned Tokers"

section, but my story started getting a little long for what was just supposed

to be a simple response to the question being asked. Which brings me here

where I decided I'd post it as a stand alone story. Anyways here goes:


Back when I was like 16 I was getting ready to roll up a joint in my room


after a long day of skateboarding. So I pulled up the shutters that covered

my windows about half way since I planned on smoking out the window a

couple hours later, and switched on a little lamp over my desk so I could

see what I was doing. Keep in mind it was night time and it was dark

outside, so if anyone were to go outside and look in my room, they'd be able

to see everything. I had even acknowledged this before I got out all

my shit but figured "nah I'm on the second floor, and it's only open like half

way and I'm not standing directly in front of it, and no one is going to

go outside anyways." Well as it turns out my mom decided to go out in the

backyard to bring the dog in and sees me and knows EXACTLY what I'm

doing. So I'm just grinding some bud and get a text from her like "are you

rolling a joint?" So at first I think she's kidding but then I'm like "oh shit can

she see me??" So I open up the window and look outside and realized I had

been caught. So sheepishly I'm just like "ohai" and she says "I'm coming up

to take your stash." So I'm like shit since it hadn't even been a year since I'd

been caught the first time and she destroyed around $400 worth of quality

glass (bought with pretty much all the money I made working the previous

summer) and about 5 grams of good weed I had just bought. So acting fast,

I try and figure out what to hide and what I can leave out that I wouldn't

mind being taken away. Fortunately all I really had out was a nice grinder,

some papers, a lighter, a pack of cigarettes, and my bud. Unfortunately I

didn't have a lot of time, and knew that keeping her waiting behind my

locked door would give her more reason to search my room extensively, so

I decided the most important thing to save would be the bud (duh) and the

grinder (just because it was nice and I have this belief that no one should

have to buy a grinder more than once). Now the only problem was where to

put it. First of all, she knew where most of my stash spots were and I didn't

have a lot of time to think it through. Second of all, I had a big pile of

ground up bud sitting on a piece of paper because I had planned on rolling

up a few joints. And finally, she knew I was rolling up a joint so it'd be

idiotic if I was just like "ummm I don't have any weed?" Now keep in mind

that all of the following took place in about 30 seconds tops, as it doesn't

take long to come upstairs . So quickly I decide what I'm going to tell her,

so I unload my container with about an eighth of bud in it, pinch off like 0.1

g's (if that even), leave that in the container, and drop a cigarette on my

desk. So while I'm rehearsing the "this is all I've got, I was going to roll a

spliff" story in my head, I'm also trying to figure out what to do with the

nugs I had just unloaded, and the pile of shake on my desk. I couldn't put it

in the container as it housed that teeny tiny little nug I had planned on

showing her (I remember thinking that if it was in the container it would act

as a convincing prop.) In the meantime I've managed to jam the cigarettes

into my pocket and am just concerned with the bud and the grinder. I can

hear she's at the top of the stairs so I drop the grinder under a bunch of shit

in my closet, having decided it was too late to screw it open and stash all

my weed in there. Now I'm panicking because I DO NOT want to lose this

weed, but it's crunch time since she is at my door, and every second I don't

open it is just making her more and more suspicious. In a complete state of

panic, I'm ready to dump the weed in the first thing I see...

MY SKATE SHOES THAT I'D WORN AND SWEAT IN ALL DAY LONG!!

In like a split second a drop the nugs in there, pour the shake in there, tip

the shoe so all the bud is up by the toe, and quietly, neatly, and swiftly

place the shoes next to some others in my closer. In that same second I let

her in my room and tell her my bullshit story and await the consequences.

She laughs and tells me she isn't going to take it away and that I'm an idiot

for turning the light on and leaving the window open. So she leaves and I

glance at the stinky shoe with all my weed in it in my closet and my face is

like :C


So the nugs came out easily, but I spent the next 5 minutes tipping and

tilting and shaking the shoe to get all the shake out. Needless to say, I put

the rest of the nugs away (properly this time) and rolled up a few joints with

the shake, and proceeded to get high off my ass


Not the grossest thing I've heard, but the thought that I was smoking bud

that I had put in the same shoe I had been sweating in and getting dirty and

stinking up all day long in like humid 100 degree weather was kind of

disgusting.

Anyways I'm not trying to move an already existing thread over here, just

thought I'd post my story as it's own thing. Feel free to comment or share

any similar stories you may have!

Peace

 

Well this makes me very sad
I hope you don't feel cheated by the build up or as though I wasted your time reading all that just to find out it went in my shoe.
But in all seriousness your post made me laugh
I can see how the story could have easily gone in that direction, and probably would have been even better if it did ahaha. But since you're glad I put it in my shoe then I'm glad as I wouldn't want to gain the disapproval of my fellow blades!

 

Haha well thank you justine, I'm glad you were able to enjoy it!
Oh gawd I definitely get ya there. The things I wish I could un-read/un-see/un-hear......

 

Again, the decision of what to do with the weed was made in literally no more than a second. Oh it would have been ideal if I had acted quick enough to carefully pour the shake in the container and stash that, but like I said I was almost using the container as a "prop" in my whole "act." In my rushed state of panic I somehow drew the conclusion that if I left a teeny little nug in the container, it would look more believable when I said yeah that's all I've got. Fortunately my mother did not and still does not even think to place a numerical value on how much weed it looks like I have. Whether it was the 5 grams she took away the first time I got caught, or the 0.1 grams she threatened to take away a year later, weed is just weed and is all equally a no no. Fortunately she has always had a pretty open mind about weed and eventually relaxed enough to allow me to keep a little in the house as long as it's out of sight, and to not be high around her, my dad, or my little sister. She never fully approved of it though, and would always remind me that "it's still illegal." However I fixed that problem as soon as I turned 18 and got my med card, so now she doesn't say much

Haha oh good I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And thanks!

Haha glad you got a kick out of it!

YES! THIS^^^
When I was rereading what I wrote I was like "shit this is really dense..."
The way you formatted it is perfect.
I should go back and edit my entire first post so it looks like that.
Thank you!