I need one of these lol, if not all them. I'm fuckin' losin' 'er boys. Lately I've been wanting to move, or forget everything, or just cap myself. Or all, in that order. It seems like every year, around this time, I get all pissed off and depressed, and I always just wanna get ultra fucked up on unmentionables/liquored up, and be destructive. I just can't seem to see a reason to keep living, I'm lazy and it's repetitive and not enjoyable. It would be a lot easier to not live. I don't like it/anyone around here, there is nothing to do, everyone is an asshole, all there is, is drama. People are all fucked now days. It seems like I'm watching people get more and more fucked up/stupid. Everyone has a problem with me, even if I don't know them from a hole in the ground. Last year around this time I almost killed myself, the year before that too. That was a close one . I'm not sure what the time of year has to do with it, but it's always around now. Seasonal affective disorder or something, I got it bad. Does anyone else have this problem? Know any treatment for it? I usually just get high and it makes me happy ( I know your not supposed to use substances to make you happy, but what can ya do) but lately my tolerance has been really high and I don't get stoned, I just get tired and hungry and then end up falling asleep/ I've given up Blades, I got no more fight left in me!