A long time ago there was this boy. He was about ten years old and it was the first day at his new school. He was walking down the strangely empty corridor before his first lesson, looking around to see if anyone was about that he could be friends with. Then he turned around as he heard someone running. He saw a young girl, about his age, running towards him. She ran right up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders and puled him towards her. She lent over and whispered in his ear *purple purple*. She then ran off in the direction she had come from before the young boy had a chance to respond to her. Just then the bell rang for the first lesson and so the kid trudged down the hall to his classroom. Once in the room he looked around for an empty desk and sat down. Once the teacher was happy that everyone was paying attention she began speaking to the class. "Now children. I can see that there are a lot of new faces in my class today. Before i begin the register does anyone have any questions about my class?" The young boy put up his hand hesitantly and said "Yes miss, i have a question. What does 'purple purple' mean?" The teacher stared at him in disbelief before standing up and, while pointing at the door, demanded that the child go to the principals office immediately. The young boy (who I am going to call Terence for the rest of the joke) looked at her, puzzled, but still stood up silently and walked out of the door and to the principals office. And so he sat outside his office waiting for him to return from a meeting. Finally he did, and told the boy to follow him. Once in the office the Principal asked Terrence what he had done that would have him sent to out of class on his very first day. Terrence replied "Well sir, all i did was ask my teacher what purple purple meant!". At this the Principal turned round to the boy suddenly and grabbed him by the collar and said "Right that's it. Wait outside my office 'till the supervisor arrives. Then tell your little story to him!" And so the boy sat outside the Principals office for three hours until finally the supervisor arrived. The Supervisor turned to the boy and said "Your Principal has phoned me to tell me about a very naughty boy at his school. Is this you?". "I don't know.." Terence replied in a weak voice. "Well what is it you have done?" asked the Supervisor. " Well, my Teacher sent me to the Principal, who made me wait for you, just because i asked what purple purple meant! It's stupid!" "You are the one who is stupid for acting in that manner in class. I'm afraid I'm going to have to expel you from this school immediately." And so he did. Terence walked home, now crying. He had absolutely no idea what was going on. He finally got home after walking for two hours (his mother used to drive him to school) and stepped through the back door into the kitchen where his mother was preparing her lunch. She heard the door open and turned round to she her son walk into the kitchen when he wasn't due home for another four hours. "What are you doing home early?" she asked. Terrence told her that he had been expelled and she walked up to him, shocked, and asking what he could have done to be expelled on his first day at his new school. "I don't know!! My teacher sent me to the Principal, who made me wait for the Supervisor, who expelled me from school and sent me home, all because i asked what *purple purple* meant!" The mother stepped back, obviously stunned. When she was finally able to speak she pointed a long, wrinkled finger at Terence "Get to your room now and wait for you father!" she shouted. And so he did. He sat on his bed, crying his eyes out for about five or so hours solid, until he finally heard the door downstairs open, then close. He heard talking and the raised voices and finally his fathers footsteps coming up the stairs and down the corridor towards his bedroom. He opened the door and looked at his wreck of a son curled up on his bed. He sat down next to Terence and after a while of talking spotted with long silences he asked what he actually got expelled for. Terrence sat up immediately and said " Well, my Teacher sent me to the Principal's office, who made me wait to see the Supervisor, who expelled me from school, and then Mum sent me to my room to wait for you, all because I asked what 'purple purple' meant!!". His father looked at him furiously and after a brief few seconds, grabbed him by hi jumper and threw him out of the window into the bush below. Terence got up confused and in much pain and looked up to see (and hear, of course) his father bellowing out of the window "YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF THIS FAMILY. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!". and then close the window and disappear into the house. And so Terence was on his own again, walking around the streets of his town with his head down and a constant flow of tears streaming from his eyes. He sat down on a curb for a rest and almost straight away a police car pulled up to him and a police officer got out and walked toward him. "What is a boy of your age doing sitting here on the side of the road all alone at this time of night?" the officer asked. Terrence, without even looking up replied "Well sir, This morning my teacher sent me to my Principal, who made me wait for my Supervisor, who expelled me from school. Then my Mum sent me to my room to wait for my Dad, who chucked me out of the house, all because i asked what 'purple purple' meant." The police officer immediately pulled out his handcuffs, grabbed the young boy and said "Right, Your going to jail!" He went to the police station, and was forced into a cell. A few days passed, he did nothing but sit on his bed and cry. Then one day he heard a loud noise behind him. He turned round to see a huge, fiery stairwell had opened up in the floor. From the stairwell emerged the Devil. The devil looked at Terence for about a minute before asking "What has a boy of your age done to be in a cell?" And so Terrence replied "Well, It all started when my Teacher sent me to the Principal, who made me wait for the Supervisor, who expelled me from school. Then my Mum sent me to my room to wait for my Dad, who threw me out of the house, then a police officer put me in here, all because i asked what 'purple purple' meant!!" The Devil looked at him for a moment then said "Right, you are truly evil. You are to sit in a corner of Hell for One Hundred Years." And so the Devil lead Terence down the stairwell into Hell. He sat in a very warm corner of hell for exactly One Hundred Years, doing nothing, until the Devil came up to him again and said "Right. You've sat here for a hundred years with no problem so I'm going to let you go back to wander Earth for all eternity." Terrence was suddenly teleported to New York. And so he wandered around with nothing to do. Then a few hours later he bumped into an old lady. He put his hands on her shoulders, facing her, and asked "Please, please, please can you help me! Do you know what 'purple purple' means???" He looked at her expecting her to slap him or something but then the old lady said to him "I'm sorry. I don't know what it means but if you go to the top of the Empire State Building and wait for three hours then a good spirit will come who can tell you everything you need to know." Without even thanking her, Terence ran towards the Empire State Building. He got there only to find out the elevator was broken. He ran up the stairs, all the way to the top and waited. He waited for an exact three hours and all of a sudden a good spirit appeared from nowhere. "I hear you want to know what 'purple purple' means young child?" it said. "Well i can't tell you here but if you run across the road to the park i can tell you there." and the it vanished. Terence got up and ran all the way down the stairs and across the road. But as he ran across the road he got run over by a bus a died. The morale of the story is - Look both ways before you cross the road.
When i was 7, my father gave me a necklace with a ring on it. He told me to wear it everyday for the rest of my life and pass it on and on. when i was 13 i was on the beach once and decided to remove the necklace and wear the ring and so i did. A few hours later as i was fishing with my father, the ring slipped of my finger and as it was falling into the water no joke a fish jumped and swallowed it, i was shocked and my father was deeply disappointed. The fish had a piece missing of it's tail which was all i can think of for days with no sleep. Just picturing the fish calling me out to follow her, to find her. 7 years later (lately) i wen't back to my home town and decided to go to the same beach to fish with my friends. We got drunk, smoked and just chilled and fished for hours and hours. I couldn't get the ring out of my head and how disappointed my father was (he believed that the ring had special powers.). While i was thinking, one of my friends get a pull, a very very strong one, after a few minutes later, he pulls out a fairly large fish. There it was the most unbleivable thing that has ever happened to any of us. It was the fish!! I was so sure of it, she looked into my eyes like she recognized me she didn't move her head or a single bone, just looked me straight in the eyes, just me. I looked at the tail and yes it was missing a piece. I knew it was the fish and right there at that moment i felt like i achieved one of the most important things in my life. It was a miracle. So i quickly run and grab a knife, put the fish down and the table, we all stand around it in a circle. You can feel the silence and the intensity increasing, not a single blink or a word, just silence. I carefully start opening up the fish, praying that this is the fish, trying not to look at it untill i cut it all the way through and there it was. The fish's stomach was completely empty and i never found the ring.... I'm really looking forward for a good joke.
I shall tell you the story of Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, and his girlfriend. On a beautiful spring day, Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, and his girlfriend decided to go on a picnic in the French countryside on the banks of the Seine. In one scenic and serene moment, Pierre's girlfriend says to him, "Pierre, kiss me." And so, Pierre opens a bottle of merlot, and splashes some on her lips. In surprise she exclaims, "Pierre, what are you doing!?" In response he says, "I am Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, and when I have red meat, I have red wine!" At this, she laughs, and they begin kissing passionately. Then things start to heat up a bit and she whispers in his ear, "Pierre, kiss me lower..." And so, Pierre opens a bottle of chardonnay and splashes some on her breasts. Again, in surprise she exclaims, "Pierre, what are you doing!?" In response he says, "I am Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, and when I have white meat, I have white wine!" Again she laughs and they carry on. Then things start to get really hot and she says to him, "Pierre, kiss me... lower..." At this, Pierre grabs a bottle of cognac, pours it onto lap, and lights it on fire. She jumps up screaming and runs into the river. When the flames are extinguished, she raises from the water and screams, "Pierre! What the HELL are you doing!!!!???" Pierre stands and defiantly says, "I am Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!"
i was sitting in my friends car waiting for her to get her coffee at starbucks and this old man walks up to a young girl and is like "excuses me young lady, what do you call and alligator wearing a vest? an investigator" and the look on the girls face was priceless haha. it was pretty funnny
This is kinda of a funny story. I'm not sexist or abusive but i got into a fight with this girl. Now I have never hit a girl but she started talking about my father. She said that my father was a drug addict and could never keep a relationship and I was going to be just like him. My dad isn't perfect but he loved my mother and I and she just kept going on and on until I just lost it. It just happened. My fist reared back and I smashed her right in the nose. I expected it to be like in the movies where her nose would just trickle blood, but no. It exploded with blood coming out of both nostrils and she banged her head into the wall. She and I just sat there stunned for a few seconds and then she just freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom. She eventually took off but I haven't heard from the cops yet so I should be okay. I never hit a girl before so I kind of freaked. I told my mom what happened and my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought now forget it, yo home to belair. I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later. Looked at my kingdom i was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of belair.