I need some advice on wooing or getting to know a girl. There's this girl at the library I volunteer at, and she works there on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She's a freshman and she commutes to college. Before you read this, I'm looking for her a a girlfriend. I don't do fuck buddies or ONSs. So I went there to the library today (I usually go there on Mondays and Wednesdays) and I started to chat with her as I was shelving. Not flirting, but just chatting. She seemed like my type of girl as we were conversing. I have no idea if she has a boyfriend yet, and I have no idea how to find out without being obvious. I'm not one to bare all and reveal my intentions straight with her, partly because I barely know her, and partly because I'm introverted. She said to me as I was leaving today that I should come on tuesdays more often. She recognized that I was fun to talk to, so this should be kinda more straightforward than other things. Also, I have no idea if she is looking for a boyfriend. That kind of scares me. The last time I liked somebody and professed it, they said that they weren't ready at the time, and then a few months later, she got into a relationship (and consequently occasionally asks me for advice in the situation. OUCH!) Even I have no idea if I want to have a relationship right now. It's certainly a golden opportunity.
Show up on Tuesdays more often, pal. That's a given. If you're too introverted to come right out and ask (nothing wrong with that), make a joke about the boyfriend thing. Ask her something like, "So, what big and exciting plans do you have this weekend?" and when she says something like, "oh, nothing," counter with, "What? The boyfriend isn't taking you out on the town?" Keep it light, play it cool. Go get 'em, Tiger!
I've already asked my dad to take me on tuesdays and thursdays. I'm getting a car next month, so I should be able to drive to a possible future date without being lame. Also, I don't want to be cliche when finding out if she has a bf.
Cliche? Bitches love cliche. Stalk her on Facebook? I dunno, man. I say my method is a subtle way both find out the answer and drop the hint that you're into her. You can't pussyfoot around this stuff or she'll be picked up by someone else.
I have envisioned a conversation where I stated how "fake" people can be and it's better to be real. Ya know, like hiding their faults and stuff. I read somewhere that girls have builtin boundaries that they automatically set that prevent stuff like that, and maybe I can get her to open up to more relationship-related conversation. Also, I have never been on a date or had a girlfriend if been kissed, so there's that.
For my next hit we have a request from our library smokers [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVxblglNSwU]R.Kelly - Feelin' on Your Booty - YouTube[/ame] Treat your library books and women with care folks
Probably because you're too analytical, man. Less envisioning how something is going to go. You can't predict that and if you're expecting things to go one way, you're going to get tripped up when they go another. You also might be opening up a can of worms with "let's talk about our deepest selves." She could throw those walls up fast... vaginas are like bear traps when it comes to that. Follow her lead. If there's one thing bitches love more than cliches, it's being in control.
Difference is a bear trap will snap your dick off. A pissed off girlfriend will bite it off and mail it to your mother with the note, "Your son is a pathetic excuse for a sex toy."
Yeah dude, you just need to relax. First and foremost, be more playful. Girls don't like guys that are uptight and formal. Especially bitches our age (assuming you're in college). They like more wild guys. I'm not saying be someone you're not, just change your philosophy on women. You said you're looking for a girlfriend. Just take things slower and have a little fun. Let her know that you think she's sexually attractive (to escape friend zone). This should be done when you're first meeting a girl. Flirt with her and try to get her to go somewhere else with you as a date. Get her number. Don't make yourself sound like a virgin. Omit the fact that you've never had a girlfriend, those types of things can be a turnoff to most girls.
ask her out!!! if she has a boyfriend, she will tell you then and you can go back to monday-wednesday shifts
I'm very analytical, and it sometimes gets in the way of love. I guess I'll have to overcome that somehow. Unfortunately, I'll be going down unda' for a couple weeks until December, so I won't be able to see her again until then. but it will be a good opportunity for discussion topics.
The bear, obviously. We're in charge of our own destinies, boys. As long as that destiny revolves ceaselessly around the bear trap.
Be obvious. Why wouldn't you want to be obvious? Not being explicit would probably be your first step to the friendzone - for real.
You're throwing up some warning flags for me here dropping big words like "love". It gives me the impression you're taking this too seriously. That's the biggest mistake you can make. What you're doing here is not serious, it's not a big deal. It's just a cute chick at the library. Take yourself, and your life less seriously man. Take this whole thing less seriously. Enjoy the process man, just enjoy interacting with her, and women, and ultimately people in general. That's your best strategy. Make jokes, talk about whatever you want, be relaxed. When you inhibit yourself you make yourself seem less interesting, because you're hiding yourself, you don't want to "bare all" as you put it. You structure everything you say around what you think SHE wants to hear. That's not real communication, real interaction. You all seem to show signs of what some call "tunnel vision". You say you're going away for a couple weeks, so you're bummed that you can't see library girl. Well while your away you might meet a dozen new girls just as eligible as library girl. Don't limit yourself in that respect, especially if you're looking for girlfriend material. But most of all I just recommend taking life less seriously. You can't take it as a complete joke, but don't take a really serious thing all the time. Basically have a fun time around her, and women in general, and they will naturally be attracted to you, because you make them feel good. Once you actually get a girlfriend and know her for awhile you can start wrestling with concepts like "love".