Germination Issues

I'm not germinating any seeds, but if I were....

I've done it with the paper towel method. And I've just gone ahead and placed them in dirt before. Tried it about six months ago, no issues, same hypothetical seeds. However, these seeds are now about two years old. They were stored in a glass jar in a dark place at slightly below room temperature. Well, I've tried about 15-20 in paper towels and 15-20 put straight into the dirt in solo cups with holes cut for drainage. Still have plenty left over, particularly because they're imaginary, of course, but I'm beginning to wonder if they've just gone bad. I tried the float test with some of them. None of them sank on their own in a period of about two days. I then stuck my finger in the water to break the surface tension and about half of them dropped to the bottom. No difference with them.


So... Any one got any Jedi tricks?

 

Ugh, more money?


This was supposed to be a fun little, imaginary, hobby, not a money-pit!