My sister is a freshmen in college, she just moved into her dorm there a few weeks ago, and up until a couple days ago was really enjoying it. Last night at about 2 in the morning, she called me, balling her eyes out, really upset. I tryed getting her to calm down so i could understand her. Turns out her suite mates in her dorm room started really nasty immature rumors about her, her roommate, and both their boyfriends. And I mean nasty rumors. Shit that is even too low for high schoolers. The rumors got spread around the dorm hall, and everyone there is giving both them an exceptionally hard time. My sister has never been the kind of person to stand up for herself, she's usually been pretty at ease. She's not a fighter, never has been. The suite mates had the majority of the hall in their room last night, and they we're all trashing talking my sister and her roommate and laughing. My sister could hear everything through the crack underneath the door. She's been really upset about it, and even tried talking to both of the girls. Apparently they just sat there with a shit eating grin on their faces and acted like complete snobs. Which when I met them, they did seem like. I suggested she talks to the RA of the hall and try and work something out, well turns out the RA is in on the whole thing. Like wtf? He's not going to do jack shit about it. She wanted to come home for the weekend because she's been so miserable up there but she has no car. So I may drive up there tomorrow and pick her up. But if I go, knowing myself, I'll do something to get into legal trouble while I'm, there. I don't take kindly to others fucking with my family and friends. Especially my sister. But what I'm getting at, what should she do? Or I do to help her? I hate hearing that she's miserable there, and the last thing that should be on her mind while she's getting an education is how everyone in her dorm hall yells degrading things at her. I'm open to ANY advice you guys can give. Thanks GC.
"My boyfriend might have crabs but at least i'm not pregnate" Kill fire with fire, sometimes it works. Girls are immature, it's really funny.
My sister isn't like that. She's to mature for all of that. I have the phone number of one of the girls, i was wondering if calling and having a calm conversation would do anything of benefit, or just make the situation worse for my sister.
It'll definitely make it worse. Your sister will be seen as needing somebody to rescue her every time something goes wrong. Not to be mean or anything, because it's not intentional at all, but you really need to tell your sister to grow up. Guess what? People gossip. Guess what? Everybody in the world will have rumors spread about them multiple times during their life. It's just best to act like it doesn't even phase you. That's how you get the shit to stop. Just pretend that you don't give a damn.
If her RA won't do anything about it. I'd tell her to go over his head and bring it forward to the administration. Explain to them that with all this nasty talk, she can't concentrate on classes or anything. She can ask to be transferred to different dorms or file harassment charges if it doesn't stop. Hopefully everything works out though. That is sad to see that someone isn't able to start school because of that shit.
Is she required to live on campus? Maybe she and her roommate could check out Craiglist and see if there are any affordable places to rent for the school year or semester. That's kinda drastic though. If I were in your situation, I would probably do nothing other than remind your sister it really doesn't matter what those chicks think of her. And if I were her, I'd tell those chicks to grow the fuck up and ignore it... go to the housing office at school and ask to change halls/dorms?
I know, its pathetic. Like these 2 girls didn't have enough high school, so they're bringing their immature bullshit to college? She wants to transfer to a different dorm, but has to wait until a certain date before they'll allow it, its a little over 2 weeks away. The suite mates have a pet turtle or something in their dorm room, and its against the rules. And the RA knows about the turtle but does nothing about it. I'm pretty sure the RA would be forced to leave if administration found out he wasn't enforcing rules because the people violating them are his friends, or that he is participating in hazing of two students in his hall. Haha I even considered going to pick her up, bringing a lot of weed with me, plant it in the suite mates room and calling the campus police because she's a freshmen, she's required to live on campus in a dorm for the first year. I'm sure she would just ignore it if it was just the two girls. But it's the entire hall. Literally, except for one girl who was nice enough to let my sister know about the rumors going around.
How nasty are these rumors? The girls sound like a couple of incredibly immature bitches, like lower than highschool probably around 6th or 7th grade shit. Are you sure your sister didnt do anything to piss the two girls off?
Go to the person that is the head of residence and report the kids and the RA. They will all get the boot if they are hazing. The RA will get an even worse punishment. Make sure you tell them about him not enforcing rules too. A couple of my buddies where kicked out of rez for less than what these people are doing.
yea i know. at first i assumed she did do something, or even that the rumors could be true. but my sisters always been the quite type, she always avoided any conflict with someone. she's not the type of person to talk shit about somebody else. i might call my sisters boyfriend later and see if he could tell me the specific details of everything.
Sounds fair enough. I don't think going to the RA is a good idea, though. Word spreads, and it's likely that as the word spreads (from friends of the RA or these girls, if they happen to be punished) even more people will begin to be nasty to her. This is just a taste of life for her. As I said in my other post, people gossip, and they will forever gossip. Nasty rumors are spread amongst old people too, so it's not just something endemic to only high schoolers/college students. The best course of action, IMO, is to just sit down with your sister, explain to her that you know the things being said hurt her, but that the best way to get the shit to stop is to not act like you're affected by it. That said, if it ever progresses to something physical, THEN I wouldn't hesitate to get the Dean or head of the housing department involved.
from my experience if you fuel the fire it keeps on going. obviously if these people get off on seeing her go through this shit, then she shouldn't give these fuckers that satisfaction. just tell her that some people just don't grow up, and eventually it will all be in the past. she should keep her head up for acting like the adult. don't stoop down to that childish level. won't do any good.
thanks for the advice. ill talk to her tonight about it. and i doubt anything physical would happen unless i was the one starting it. and seeing as the one's starting the rumors are both girls, that's out of the question. Thanks