Hey blades, i work at fast food, and i wasnt supposed to work yesterday, but my boss called me in during the middle of a sesh to come in and work from 5-11 (it was 3pm at the time) fuck it i say sure because i can use the extra money. So i get there still a little stoned, 45 mins goes by no problem. The usual rush goes by so im just cleaning the counter when in the corner of my eye i see a midget walk through. I've seen plenty of midgets in my life and im mature so it doesnt phase me..but this guy.. Even if he was tall ide laugh my ass off, he had this cheesy slicked back hair, huge ass eyes, and a cardigan, he also had a huge ass unlit cigar resting in his mouth. Im the only one working register at the moment so he walks up to me and i say good afternoon. As he walks up to me he literally stands right behind the register, so cant see him at all. He says something but i cant really hear him to i bend over the register and ask if i can take his order. He looks at me oddly and says "what, is it because im fucking short?" I have no idea how to take this in so i just kind of stare at him trying to hold back my laughs. He says do you reccomend the nuggets or the strips, i say the 12 count nugget because the strips are larger (the truth) then he starts to get pissed off, he takes the cigar out of his mouth and says in a real phoney tone, "kid, if i wanted to be laughed at ide join the fucking circus, i just want my damn food without being looked at like a fucking mythical creature" as soon as he finished this sentence one of my friends walks in the store, stoned out of his mind. He immedietly sees the midget and goes into a laughing fit, the midget notices and that when i start to chuckle under my breath ready to explode. I try and act like i dont know my friend so i re-focus on the customer asking what he would like. He starts to order and before he can finish, an old man probably in his 70's falls near the dining room with a whole tray of food. I'm talking like $30 dollars worth of food, and the way he fell..oh man, food EVERYWHERE with a very disgruntled tone. The midget sees this and goes into super hero mode. He starts running as fast as he can no hesitation. I dont know if youve seen a midget run, but it sent my stoned friend to the ground laughing and me laughing as well. But i snap back into it and help the old man. The old man seemed fine just a little shocked, but then the midget screams, "IS THERE A DAMN MEDIC IN THIS PLACE?!!?" At this point theres an Al Pacino looking midget screaming at the top of his lungs, food everywhere, an old man laying on the ground, and a stoner on the floor laughing. there was also a group of little kids from the play area who heard all the commotion and started to crowd around the scene. In the end, everything turned out okay with the midget ordering strips instead of nuggets and everything else A okay. I though you guys would like this story so share some work stories if youde like too,ide love to hear em.
as i was walking to my department in the store i saw one of those midgets who look like they work out alot it made me laugh a bit but then i realized i was working
I stopped reading just to quote and respond to this. This made me spit my drink. Fucking HILARIOUS Edit: Holy shit, the rest of the story was just as fucking hilarious. IS THERE A DAMN MEDIC IN THIS PLACE?!" I'm dying. That's too much.
"So there was this blind man right? And he walked past a fish market right?" -- Afro Man colt 45, dont knw why i was thinkn of that readin this
This is some of the funniest shit ive read in a while god damn I'm still laughing 5 mins after reading this!
Haha me and my friend got stoned together the next day and we talked over it and he said it was by far the funniest thing hes ever seen in his life