You know those chairs where it's like.. there's 2 bars touching the ground for legs, then the front legs come up and bend under the seat, and there's no back legs? Like a metal "C" shape, then a seat at the top of the C? I was sittin with my hands behind my head allll relaxin at my friend's house. Him and my cousin were sittin there with me in front of a computer. I barely felt the chair bend a little bit. I was like, "dude I think I bent your chair.." and 2 seconds later it was like tiiiiimmmmber. It bent slowly until my back was on the floor. Heheh. We were friggin drunk, they were high (I can't smoke). They cracked up. The other day we were gettin drunk, same people. My friend was sitting on a crappy little blue plastic table. Like a kid's table. And all of the sudden we hear CRACKCRACKCRACKCRACK real fast and boom my friend falls flat on his ass. He shattered the blue table into like 9 pieces.. and.. yeaaaah. It was funny. A few friends and I were gettin drunnnnk. My cousin was driving (sober of course). We pulled up to Taco Bell and a friend in the back seat had a bacardi bottle with a little bit left in it. He leaned out the window and was like "HEY YOU WANT THIS?" to the guy working the drive through. The guy took it and just set it down below the window. Yeaaah. My friend is a jackass.
We had just finshed smokein a little and since our cable went out my friend and I watched Star Wars, and when C3PO and R2D2 came on my friend said "Hey, I think they're gay" and I said "Mabey the tall one, but not the small one"
Well I was on shrooms once and my 3 other buddies all wouldnt take shrooms because they thought they tasted bad.but anyway I go "Just close your nose and take a pineapple". But the funniest shit I say when I'm stoned is "Quick like a bunny~go go go~"
"dude, save the red neck music for the redneck!" (long story with me and my cuzin when we was madd baked)
"dude....................................dude........................... dude............im dont stoned im not"
"Man I'm geekin for some weed!" And proceed to look like I'm geeking like this crackhead we know. I haven't smoked in 2 somethin months. I really am geekin. Teehee.
Well, I have these two friends, Sarah and Kim and One time I was like, "Hey, where is Tara and Sim?", I cracked up! ohh! my dog came in my room when I was baked, and I was like "Hither, Hither! Come Hither you little squirrel!" And my friends wouldnt stop laughing! hehe, im a goofy mother fucker!
Ok, This is kind of along story and it may not be too funny but me and my friend were driving around our rinky dink college town when we got lost on these back roads. we drove around for like two hours trying to find our way back when we drive by this fire station. i sit up in the car seat and say HEY! you know where fire stations are.....in densely populated areas.....we both proceded to crack up. HAHAHAhahaha..ha....ha......ha..........ha................hmmmmm....................................not so funny now...........
my cousins were over and it was really boring so me and one of my cousins went out and smoked a couple of bowls when we came out of the woods my 2 younger cousins were playing on the hammock and my youngest cousin who is a bit pudgey and is very sensitive about it fell off the hammock and we all started to laugh and i yelled out "you fell off because your so fat" she started crying and ran inside and my stoned cousin started laughing real hard so we just went off and played video games and later apoligized and everyting now is right as rain.
the first time i got high was before guitar class one day, and when i got to class and started trying to play guitar i sucked... badly, i couldn't get my fingers to go the right frets.. and it was starting to frustrate me so i finally said "go fingers go, go fingers go" and everyone around me started to bust up laughing, may not seem too funny.. but to us it was hilarious.
this just happened, me an dr_krapp are really blazed and i was talkin to my friend and they'd written ! at the end and i was asked why she used EXPLANATION marks! LOL and when i explained sumthing they put "i unda stand" and i put "unda stoned!" LOL oh yeah i remember the other one, my friend said hi we're back and i said NO UR NOT! LOL well they're funny now
also we were out an dr_krapp pointed at a piece of litter on the floor and shouted NO! that is cause he was saying no to litter and just then he said "rich its hot in here turn the heating down" even though its not on then he took off his hoodie and said "thats better" lol
lol funniest thing i ever said when i was stoned was Winkley i was talking to my girl i told her that her shirt was all winkley when i ment to say wrinkly, thats when she lokked at my eyes and said i'm glad you talk as well as my 2 year old god son i also like to make up words and give them stupi d manings that don't make any sence at all best word i ever came uo with was rugo, i said it means to fuck a sheep on the carpet. this came to me when i wen tot the store to buy smokers and the lady asked for id, so i reached into my pocket and themn told the lady to go rugo when i showed her it. my friend asked me what rugo ment so i told them. and the lady kicked me outta the store and i 'm not allowed back there. she said i was hooligan and she threatened to call the popo on me. so i laughed and screamed rugo at the top of my lungs. then later that night me and my friend spray painted rugo on the front of the store which u could see for miles away. we got busted and ended up doign 100 hours commuinity service, fucking video cameras
I was skippin school a while back it was mid terms and it was snowing out and me and my friend paul are sitting in the snow about 400 yards in an open field behind the parking lot freezing and i said "i onced killed a cofer with a Gofanut" try and take a damn guess what i was trying to say
This is the most messed up day of my life... My friend mike and paul stayed over my house and mike has this infection so he's on these pills that knock his ass out for like 3 hours. Anyway he had this hair that was about 3 inches tall on the top and dyed Blonde like bleached and me and paul smoked a couple bowls like 10 or 11 and went and somehow decided to shave his head (him knowing of this before hand and telling us specifically to "get it all or dont do it") so we started to do it and he always puts hairspray and gel in his hair so the settings wouldnt work so we bicked it. But my razor would freak and make a loud buzzing noise and mike would wake up and reply "you got bees man" and go back to sleep. So me and paul completely shaved the top of his head only the blonde part though and made a skunk stripe connecting in the back and a big patch missing from the side above his ear. What we didnt get was about an inch on each side. So we wake mike up and the first thing he sais is "are you guys gonna shave my head cause if you do make sure you get it all" and we replied "no man we decided not to" so we got him out in my garage at this point weve each smoked about an oz and still going. it was just me and mike cause one person always needed to be in the house incase somebody came down in which case they were suppose to bang on the door (even though we know they never would they'd just run) but paul was in there when all the sudden the door opens and a pussing comes flying out of the door and smashes mike in the face. Mike didnt feel it he just looks down and says "mmmm pudding" and sits and eats it. Then we switched and it was mike inside the house the door opens and there mike with gogert (the yogurt you squeeze) all over his face in a spiraly mess and the first thing he sais and he screemed it too "I AM GOGERT MAN" funny parts is every time i smoked with mike and paul stuff like this always happens i got like a million stories like this
guys this was prolly the funnyest experence i ever had while smoking weed... You will think its funny if your stoned ... Well it was a school day and me and my friends skipped school to go surfing... it was me, my friend jack, his friend, and this black kid we know from school... he just wanted to skip school so he came with us ... Well all 3 of them never smoked weed but wanted to try it so i got some ak47 and told them it was some shitty bud and we need to smoke alot of it.. Well we got to the beach and went in this little beach access that has bathrooms.... there is a door and a tiny little hallway then another door to go into the bathroom.. so we all bunched up in this little hallway and started lighting up the pipe.... Well Jack took a little hit and i told him next time take a bigger hit and inhale.... so hes like ok... and once it got to him again he took a huge ass hit and he started caughing and he looks up at me with his eyes watering and says.. "Man, that first one got me!" I was laughing so hard... Well that was the first funny thing of the day... We kept smoking and hit up about 4 or 5 bowl packs... nick, jacks friend was standing by the door and all of a sudden he opens it a tiny crack and light shines in the little hall and smoke is thick as hell. the then looks at me and jack and says "There is someone needs to poop!" At the time i was so scared it wasent funny but we threw all our shit in our pockets and opend the door the smoke flew into this guys face and we ran down the stairs onto the beach and ran to the truck... well we were laughing and running at the same time it was great.. but no it dont stop there... by the time we got to the truck we noticed jack wasent there! So i run my ass all the way back run up the stairs and go into the bathroom... jack is in the bathroom standing at the stall bent over looking into the next stall where the guy is taking a shit.. he then stands up straight and wispers to me, "hes in there." I bust out laughing and the guy in there mumbles somthing we get spooked and run out back to the truck... We then jump in the truck and say lets go to another access! it was like 8:00 in the moarning and we dident think anyone would come to the beach! thats why we smoked in such a stupid public spot... well anyways.. we are going down the road in this kids truck me and jack sitting in the back and the black kid in the passingers, with nick driving... Nick is moving his fingures all rapid on the wheel and me and jack are lauging at this, and pointing it out to eachother, then jack asks him what he is doing and he says his hands are numb... As this is going on the black kid "No i dont know his name lol" rools down the window to spit and spits on his sholder... That was soooo funny also... well we got to the next surf spot and get out the car making weird bird noises... we then went surfing... it was just the funnyest best time of my life...