"Other Worldly Shit" My mind is so fuckin twisted comin from a town where no one believed in me but look at me now bitches im up in the sky now, look'n down at ya'll never too high to be fly.. i do some nasty shit.. but i will never die, forever im goin to ball, the rest of your lifetime, you'll never see me fall, like i said im grown now, im runnin this shit.. n your still a baby learnin ta crawl, ooo im so on it.. i feel like im 30ft tall.. i use ta be nothin to see.. but now i check my phone n the women always askin where i be.. i need'uh dick guard.. bitch let me smoke on my tree.. feelin so damn lifted.. different world shit.. never felt so free.. im one unique motherfucker.. you cannot get like me.. cause there is no one like me.. i want this shit forever.. no need to flee.. my reality is all your hatin bitches dreams.. ask me how i got where i am? ill tell you i leave no regrets.. im the realest around.. crazy thing is im in a different place, in my space shuttle, miles from the ground, no need to frown, cause i got shit that makes me feel like im wearin the main crown, cause ive been runnin this shit.. i own my town... - One of my best.. goes pretty hard
For other worldly shit, it's pretty generic and cliche. I'm jus' saying. It's nothing new really. Not saying it's bad or anything; any creation from anyone should be regarded with respect. I've seen countless poems and lyrics and raps that are ridden with the symbols and imagery you used. Still, don't give up. It's not the worst work I've read.
haha thanks ! yeah i put alot of thought into this one.. shits crazy.. and yes i use ALOT of symbolism in my poetry,, n i have alot of raps i still have to upload. oh and im diggin your username btw aha "wet horse lips" ahaha
No offense, but this really isn't special. By talking about how different you are, you're just blending in with the rest of the crowd. You need to find what sets you apart. Also, the height references are way too overplayed tbh. They're cool and all but it's exactly what everyone else does. Keep working though, and you'll get better. Like WHL said, not the worst I've ever read. Just not completely original.
very similiar to lil wayne, meaning and pattern. I wouldnt call this deep... Try putting more insight into it. Like really explain how its like to 'be on top'. Explain how ppl look at you, how u look at ppl, how they differ, how there similiar. How you feel about yourself.. etc. Poetry takes a lot of thought and yours seems to be at face value. stay at it and you'll see improvements
i find when people self proclaim things to be deep they are what is stereotypically seen as "deep", ironically making it very shallow. there's some v. good advice in here though. focus on adding insight and other things mentioned and you're on your way keep writing bro.