So, little bit of a back story. I broke up with my girl friend of two years about 6 weeks ago. I'm still pretty fucked up emotionally over it. It was a pretty peaceful break up, not fighting just told her straight up I didn't see us being married/having kids/living together. This is a problem because it actually makes things harder to deal with, because I have no real reason to remind myself why I wasn't happy with her. Continuing on two days after I broke up with her, I go out with my buddy and fuck this chick I had a thing with while I was dating my ex. I never cheat and never will but I could tell this chick liked me and she is a very beautiful girl. Anyways yea we're all drunk as fuck and I wake up and feel instantly bad. Lucky for me this girl is cool as fuck and we've had a thing. I told her straight up that I was emotionally fucked up and couldn't deal with another relationship at this time. She felt the same just being a couple months out of a 4 year relationship. So we now are currently just fuck buddies, I'm okay with that. But deep down I can feel myself wanting more and starting to open myself up to her. Which is really fucking hard because I just had my heart broken and I don't typically show emotion to anyone, not even my own mother. So tonight we were supposed to hang out, but we're both busy. We both work and go to school. Long story short she ended up not coming over. I'm a little butt hurt about it because well damn I want to fuck and have someone to cuddle afterwards. I go through these waves of not giving a fuck and loving being alone, to not being able to sleep at night because I miss having someone there to hold. Hopefully tomorrow we can hang out, but I feel like I fucked this relationship up because I'm still emotionally unstable. In my destructive behavior I also turn to online dating to just fuck chicks and get some shit out of my system. I am a sex addict, it's not good, it's not healthy, but fuck it I do it anyways because it temporarily makes me feel good. I know this makes me a piece of shit but I don't care. I just feel like I'm so fucked up that I can't relate nor do I want to try and let myself open up to people, because I don't trust anyone. I'm sick of getting fucked over. But with this attitude I can't ever find anyone that will truly be there for me. To make things worse my ex called tonight me and fucked me up even more telling me she loves me still. I like her too much as a person and not enough as a lover, so no way can I go back to her. I wasn't happy with her. Now the catch is see is 'seeing' some fuck who has a lot of money and is dropping a lot of it on her. I want to strangle this fuck, because she deserves better. She is doing this because she found out I fucked this girl two days after we were dating and she felt devastated, and she has a right to.It's her way of getting even with me and I shouldn't of done that, it was wrong. But now I'm shaking I'm so emotional right now that she has found someone and I haven't. I have a bottle of vodka that is tempting the fuck out of me, I have this desire to get so fucked up I just forget everything. It's taking every bone in my body not to do destructive shit. Not to destroy everything I've worked so hard to create. I just feel myself going into this black hole, I have no one I can really talk to about it. GC I need your help, talk me down. Please. What the fuck is wrong with me.
I would man believe me, I'm just too scared of the thoughts that flow through my head. I'm trying to be happy with myself, but it's fucking hard.
You'll find somebody again. Don't lose trust in people, because if everybody on earth did that, we'd go nowhere. Just be happy for her, and that's it. You need to realize that you are what is important and that you shouldn't care what she does. Do your own thing. Always be happy with yourself no matter what. There is nobody on earth like you, but there is always somebody on earth FOR you. You are special in your own way, and you shouldn't want to rush the process of finding somebody you find equally special. Life is a journey, so don't rush it, go with the flow. Enjoy it.
I'm working really hard to stay positive. At the same time I still feel upset, I can't make my mind up on what I want to do. I just feel like I can't even trust myself.
Jezus man, i don't know what you're complaining about u seem to pick up girls and get laid pretty easy
Maybe get drunk and grab a kitchen knife, or an axe. The bigger the better. I myself will make for a fine serial killer one day. You'll read about me in the papers.
Bro I've been through about the same thing you just posted twice. It's HORRIBLE. I, too, have some self destructive behavior, especially after something that hurts me emotionally like both of my serious relationships I've had ended with another guy in the picture. Well the first one was about ten guys but I was young and oblivious to it until afterwards, and then my second and last (so far) real girlfriend loved me, or so I thought... We ended up getting in an argument over this dude that was trying to get her to go camping with him that night. I knew he liked her, he always called her and texted her and shit while I was around to ask her to hang out and shit. Long story short after arguing and her escalating it into a fight, I find out through my fucking parents who saw her walking down the street holding hands with the fucker. She ended up staying with him and I'm not fucking stupid, I knew his intentions because I knew him and after hearing she was with him and lying to me, I ended it. I dated both of those girls for a long time, and afterwards, I was totally wrecked emotionally for a long time. I still am, really. I don't trust people. I can't make a connection with a girl, believe me I've tried. I just can't let them in because I'm scared. It fucking sucks man, I know. But you have to keep trying. That's what I do, and I still have a lot of problems I need to work out about relationships and whatnot, but it's really all you can do is try to stay positive and keep your head up. Something I learned already is you can't be happy with someone if you're not happy with yourself. You need to work out what your problems are, recognize them, and try to over come them. I really can't even have a sexual relationship with a girl right now. I mean I can and I have fucked a few other chicks since then, but it's just not the same. I don't know haha Good luck, man.
Something that reads, "Whatever my post states is merely an act of fiction. None of which is to be taken seriously." So I don't get in trouble.
I know exactly what you mean on this one. I've heard this advice given to me a lot, so I'm going to pass it on to you: Date yourself for a while. Be single, and enjoy it. You're gonna find that you have fun times with yourself, frustrating times, and sexy times, just as you would if you were with somebody else. Go back to knowing yourself before you invest in somebody else. Adding to that for your particular situation, don't abuse your spouse (you) in that relationship. Take care of yourself, man. As for your girl, I don't know what to tell you. I'd be hurt if I were her, and I'd be jealous if I were you. Since you were the one who broke it off, you're going to have to find a way to deal with her behavior without it affecting you too horribly. There's not much else to say except that when you're ready you'll find someone else who is everything that she couldn't be for you, and you won't regret your decision. Good luck.
You should also go on a camping trip or something to leave society and enjoy the wilderness by yourself to get some peace and quiet. Just enjoy yourself and make peace with yourself, learn to survive living alone so you will stop feeling lonely.
Yeah, i mean dating girls is all just probability the more you go out with the more likely you are to find the right one. Besides you said you didn't see you and the girl you broke up with having any future. so a break up was inevitable right?
It feels good to know I'm not the only one out there man, really feels good. I think I'm just over reacting to shit. I need to meditate but I feel so fogged up and confused that I can't. I just feel like I'm going in circles lol.
Time heals all wounds... You just gotta stay positive no matter how hard that may seem. And you HAVE to find an alternative to your destructive behavior. "Constructive".. Whatever you can do to release your frustrations in a more positive manner. Im not sure what else you enjoy in life, but those passions are essential in these types of situations. People are gonna fuck you over and piss on your parade for the rest of your life. It's how you deal with it, that makes you the man you strive to be. You will find love again, and who knows, it could break your heart once more. But you cant give up. You'll keep loving, living, and learning, until its absolutely right. Hang in there man, we all experience some mind fucking shit, but life is way to beautiful to keep us down. Go outside, take a deep breath, and take a look at the sky..... hey, it works for me Good Luck Man!
Working out has helped me get through a lot. I can't wait for winter to end so I can actually go outside and enjoy the sunshine! Winter is depressing as fuck.