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From a friend's site

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Switch, Dec 1, 2002.

  1. > > Q: What is your date of birth?
    > > A: July fifteenth.
    > > Q: What year?
    > > A: Every year.
    > >
    > > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
    > > impact?
    > > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    > >
    > > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
    > > memory at all?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    > > A: I forget.
    > > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
    > > something that you've
    > > forgotten?
    > >
    > > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    > > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
    > > which.
    > > Q: How long has he lived with you?
    > > A: Forty-five years.
    > >
    > > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to
    > > you when he woke up that
    > > morning?
    > > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    > > Q: And why did that upset you?
    > > A: My name is Susan.
    > >
    > > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
    > > involved in voodoo or the
    > > occult?
    > > A: We both do.
    > > Q: Voodoo?
    > > A: We do.
    > > Q: You do?
    > > A: Yes, voodoo.
    > >
    > > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
    > > dies in his sleep, he
    > > doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    > >
    > > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how
    > > old is he?
    > >
    > > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    > >
    > > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
    > > August 8th?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    > >
    > > Q: She had three children, right?
    > > A: Yes.
    > > Q: How many were boys?
    > > A: None.
    > > Q: Were there any girls?
    > >
    > > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    > > A: By death.
    > > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
    > >
    > > Q: Can you describe the individual?
    > > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    > > Q: Was this a male, or a female?
    > >
    > > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
    > > to a deposition notice
    > > which I sent to your attorney?
    > > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    > >
    > > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
    > > on dead people?
    > > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
    > > people.
    > >
    > > Q: All your responses must be oral,OK? What
    > > school did you go to?
    > > A: Oral.
    > >
    > > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
    > > body?
    > > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    > > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    > > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
    > > I was doing an autopsy.
    > >
    > > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    > >
    > > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
    > > you check for a pulse?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: Did you check for breathing?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
    > > alive when you began the
    > > autopsy?
    > > A: No.
    > > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    > > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
    > > jar.
    > > Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
    > > never the less?
    > > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
    > > alive and practising law
    > > somewhere.
     
  2. ummmmm......yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
     

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