Friend Zone/messed up

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by jk123, Mar 17, 2012.

  1. So I met this girl a few months ago, her name starts with an "M" so let's call her Mary. She had a boyfriend at the time we met. I wasn't into her at all and we just hung out sometimes and became really close friends to the point of us messaging each other a lot throughout the day (the friend zone). So we had been friends for a while and since she had a boyfriend I never really thought about anything more.

    So recently they broke up and I started having feelings which I probably had buried before but it came to the surface. I decided to tell her that I liked her. So I told her and she said that she thought that I had thought of her like a sister and that she thought of me like a brother. She said that she couldn't see herself with me like that but wanted to be friends. So I said ok and agreed.

    Then later I messed it up by telling her the feelings didn't go away and that I wanted more still. So she got mad and said that she thought we had cleared it out that we would be just friends. Which was true, we had cleared it out. She told me not to message her anymore and that she still likes her ex-boyfriend and isn't over him; but she said even if she was, she wanted to be just friends with me. But at this time she needs to sort her own stuff out and she doesn't want to talk to me.

    So I won't send any messages or anything. I'm sure she will be ok with me and we can be friends for sure. But now the issue is that I still like her. It's not that big of a deal where I would say either she has to be with me or we can't be friends. But I would rather be dating her than just friends; but would still rather be just friends than not friends. She is a trustable person and a good friend. Otherwise I've read a lot on this forum that people just recommend that u stop being friends, because what's the point.

    Now it's sort of messed up, I'm sure that she won't ever be into me because she said it rite. She just wants to be friends. But I dunno I would rather be more but friends is ok too. Any suggestions? Should I just be friends for a while and re-visit this later? Or should I just drop it altogether? I'm not too sure on what to do.
     
  2. tldr op is in the classic friend Zone.


    you have no chance bud, either stop talking to her or be friends with her and dont ever expect anything more.
     
  3. Ya I know I'm in the friend zone. I'm not in a hurry to get into a relationship with any other girl right now. I would be with her if she wanted, but even if she doesn't it's not a huge issue. I would be her friend and maybe re-visit this later, but in doing so, obviously I need to change the way I act so that she thinks of me a little differently? If it works it works if not it's how it is now..
     
  4. Why not keep her as a friend? It'll be difficult to rid your feelings for her but why lose a friend over that? It's childish and immature. Having a women close to you can help your comfort with women in general and you could get with her friends
     
  5. Dude did you read my thread? Something similar happened to me. Just try and meet other chicks trust me it won't work. Been down this road recently. I am getting back into the dating game and have met some cool chicks. No keepers yet but I still looking and you should look for others too.
     
  6. #6 Laith, Mar 17, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2012
    You can never tell a girl you "like her".

    If you tell a girl you "like her", your chances with her are fucking blown away, man. You sound way too nice, and it also sounds like she'd have you around her little finger in less than a week.

    A girl wants a challenge, she wants someone to challenge her both physically and mentally. I'm not saying to be a jerk, you should always be nice - but you can't just focus on her all of the time and have a little crush... that's your problem. Talk with the girl about things she genuinely enjoys, do some activities with her like a sport, and she'll probably end up being into you if you're impressive enough.
     
  7. Ya u guys r rite. I'm not trying to be immature. Like I sed I would stay friends over ntn cuz she is a good friend regardless. Also maybe I am too nice. Its cuz she's nice all the time too n if I ask her for help for anything, she's there. Thas y I would want to still stay as friends n not just forget bout her. But I will try just talking bout other stuff n then if it happens it happens, if not, at I still have a good friend. Any other suggestions? I'm just glad I'm not crazy for her.
     
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