Just as the title suggests. Post pictures of food you've cooked yourself, artistically composed in a way meant to whet the appetite. Throw in some window dressing, a little titillation...tell a story. Use your imagination. As long as it makes us hungry. I know there are a few professional chefs on here who could take a picture of what they're doing at work, and home cooks with kitchens that can become a stage...and the rest of us just have the munchies. So come on, people...let's see some FOOD PORN!
Sometimes it can be a real struggle just to get dinner going... Roast pork tenderloin, simple and easy Step one: place your tenderloin in an appropriate roasting pan. Hold on. The japanese have teamed up with firemen and the skeleton pirates, led by Long John Silver and his captured bagpiper. Seems they want my dinner. Hellz no! I got Marines, bitch! Burying the enemy in a common pit grave as the repatriated bagpiper plays a mournful dirge. Back to dinner. I season with salt and freshly ground pepper...then into the oven it goes, set on broil. High heat to get it started. Part two will be browning the meat for braising, and making an Indian curried onion gravy with rice to go along with it.
Braising the pork tenderloin and making Indian curried onion gravy: Indian curry is a dish that varies greatly from one part of India to the next. The recipe I was taught comes from the northwest part, the Punjab region. The basic ingredients are very simple...onions, garlic and ginger. I would normally use fresh ginger, but I was stoned when I went to the store and had to use some candied ginger slices I had in the cupboard. Dice the ingredients for your onion gravy and put them in a cooking pot. Ignore the French legionnaires trying to take over the spice tray. Ha! Ha! Ha! Run, you little frogs! Remove your roast from the oven when the top begins to brown. Add water to cover your onions in the cooking pot and bring to a boil. Turn the roast and season the other side. Turn your onions down when they begin to boil. When the roast has browned on the other side, remove from the oven. Get one half cup of water to-- Oh, look. The Who are here. Smoke break!
Braising explained simply There will be some juice in the pan already. Add one half cup of water and cover tightly. You can cover with tin foil, if you don't have a lid. Put your covered roast back in the oven and turn the temperature down to 250 degrees Fahrenheit. (If you're paying attention to my stove settings, note that the oven I'm using is a countertop convection oven not pictured here, not the range oven.) Turn the onions down to a low simmer. Now you walk away from the roast for four hours. The onion gravy I will deal with after an hour or so. I have already gathered the seasonings I'll be using...
Home made with fresh beef from the local butcher. Grilled onion, fried egg (runny yolk), avocado, forget which 3 beef cuts, and condiments. One of the best I've ever had. Got some Hamachi from work to eat at home. Removed the collar for later. Quartered, 2 backside and 2 belly (lower and upper belly). Made a sweet ponzu vinargett, friend garlic chips, and thin sliced green onion. It was amazing!
Seasoning the Indian curried onion gravy An hour or so into the process, add the following ingredients: Curry powder Chili powder Cardamom Cinnamon Cloves Salt Fresh ground black pepper Brown sugar Worcestershire Sriracha Mmmm. My house is starting to smell really groovy...
Finishing the onion gravy and slicing the pork To accompany the pork, I cooked some plain white rice. I used basmati, but you can use any kind you like...even minute rice. I finished the onion gravy after four hours of simmering by blending it lightly with an immersion blender (an egg beater or food processor will also work) and leaving some of the onions intact. I then added a dollop of sour cream and a can of peas and carrots. I was taught to use plain yogurt for this recipe, but when one day I had only sour cream I discovered that I liked the flavor better. The finished roast. Falling apart tender, I actually had trouble slicing it. You can see the slices on the right are in shreds, while the ones to the left which I cut later for the photo shoot are intact because the meat had a chance to cool down. I'm stuffed.
Pot roast I begin by browning the roast in a a skillet on high heat. I first rubbed it with worcestershire sauce, then seasoned it on all sides with salt, freshly ground black pepper and garlic. Note woody pipe and lighter, which prove that this recipe can be followed by someone who is completely blazed. Turn the roast to brown it on all sides. Lord Vishnu dances, seemingly unconcerned by the consecration of holy cow by fire. Note the blackened stuff going on in the bottom of the pan. This is good...very good. Prepare a liquid stock to deglaze the pan. What I use is a secret revealed to none, but it's coffee. To deglaze: just pour the liquid into the pan while it's hot, and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Allow the flavor burned onto the bottom of the pan to be absorbed.
Preparing your veggies. Take red potatoes, baby carrots and one whole yellow onion. Use the knife to rough dice the onion into large chunks, and to open the package for the others. Next, put all your ingredients to a covered casserole dish. Roast, veggies and the liquid from the pan all go in there. Season with salt, freshly ground black pepper and garlic. Put the covered roast in your oven at 300 degrees Fahrenheit...and walk away. This sucker is gonna take hours to become falling apart good, so take an intermission.
Roux Roux is a mixture of butter and flour that can be used as a thickening agent. The juices that the pot roast is cooking in will be used to make the gravy, and roux is required to thicken it. It must be cooked. Start with about two ounces of butter in a frying pan. You will also need flour and a wire whisk. Melt the butter on a medium heat. Dump in a pile of flour. Turn down to a low heat, then mIx the flour and butter together with the whisk. Continue cooking on low for several minutes. You want to cook out the flour taste, but not burn it. Golden colored is good; brown is burned. When finished, remove from heat to cool.
Making the gravy Remove the roast from the oven. This roast spent six and a half hours in the oven, and it is falling apart tender. Strain the juice from the casserole dish into a sauce pan and set the meat and veggies aside. Put the sauce pan on a medium heat to bring it to a gradual boil. Add about half of your roux to the gravy before it comes to a boil and whisk it in. Continue mixing as it boils, so lumps don't form. (The other half of the roux may be needed to thicken the gravy; better to make too much than not have enough.) Adjust for taste...beef base may be necessary. Reduce heat and simmer for about ten minutes. Stir occasionally. When it is thick enough to cling to a spoon, it is done. The gravy will get thicker as it cools, so be careful not to make it too thick. To finish your gravy, pour it into an appropriate gravy boat, using a sieve to remove any lumps that may have formed. You want a smooth sauce.
Finished: Pot roast Let the record show that the dish pictured above was completely annihilated less than four minutes after this picture was taken.
Hamburger helper stroganoff-- without the hamburger helper Admit it. Everyone loves the Hamburger Helper type boxed meal kits. They usually taste pretty good. The only problem with those is that the ingredients are half chemicals, and the other half are garbage. The only real food is the hamburger that you add yourself. Here is a quick recipe that approximates one of the classics: hamburger helper stroganoff...only using fresh ingredients. It's also easier to make than the box kit. First, dice a small onion. Color doesn't matter. What are you, prejudiced? Jeez, man...an onion is an onion. Then, sautée the onion in a large skillet. On another burner, boil water to cook pasta. When the onion is about halfway cooked, add a pound of hamburger. When the water comes to a boil, add the pasta. I used macaroni because I have a lot of it, but any kind of noodle you prefer will work. Turn down the water to a simmer, and reduce the heat on the skillet. Season with salt, freshly ground black pepper and garlic. At this point you can add mushrooms if you want...but I don't like mushrooms. Fuck you if you like mushrooms. Helpful cooking tip: putting a smaller lid over the food you're cooking will cook it faster, as well as keep it from drying out. It actually steams the food, making it tender and yummy.
Making it stroking off: When your pasta has finished cooking, strain off the water and set aside. When the meat is done, turn down on low and add: a dollop of sour cream and a spoon of beef base, 1/3 cup of water, a dash of Worcestershire and sriracha. Mix well. Simmer until you have a smooth, creamy sauce. It will be runny at first, but a few minutes of simmering will reduce it, making it thicker. Serve pasta with hamburger and sauce. Defend your meal from transformers.
Zoom at work: I don't work in a car wash or a library. No one's doing your windshield or giving you books, asshole. It's all in the flick of the wrist. Nachos! Chicken Cordon Bleu with grilled zucchini. And...lasagne with corn. The corn was a special request.