FML seriously

Damn man you need a joint or better yet a blunt. Take care man.

 

Make her drop acid. She will see. Better yet drop together.

 

No offense, but if she went to your place causing all that shit then she does deserve it.

She shouldn't have been drinking.

Don't beat yourself up and hold yourself responsible for others' mistakes.

 

I agree with this. She needs to learn a lesson...you said you spoke to her PO, so that leads me to believe that she's already been in enough trouble to be on probation.

You may feel bad now, but I can tell you, you would be feeling a whole lot worse if she'd managed to get your daughter into that car...the end result could have been much more devastating.

 

Nonetheless...she shouldn't be drinking. Do as you said earlier...quit drinking yourself...if you're not drinking, maybe she won't either. No matter what, that lil girl of yours has got to be the number one priority. Do it for her...do everything for her...both of your lives at this point should be revolving around that child. Imagine what she's going through watching all this stuff happen. If you don't want her to be mental when she gets older, you guys better get your shit together. The stuff you're describing can be very traumatic to a child.

 

I know what it's like. My girlfriend has depression and she's been through some really rough patches; thankfully though she seems to be pulling through it. You just have to be there for her when she needs you and stick through it no matter how tough it is and yes, it is very tough. If you think stopping drinking will help then I say do it and discourage her from drinking as well. If you stick through it with her long enough there's light at the end of the road.
Good luck

 

Bolded, and qft.....


Good luck OP..

 

This post contradicts your original post...don't put yourself in denial. None of this is good for that child. You can pretend she doesn't know what's going on, but that don't make it true....you say this is a rare occasion in this post, yet your first post says otherwise. It says your relationship has been rocky every since you had the child...so, don't think this child is unaware of what's happening. She doesn't understand it, but, trust me...she is aware...

Do you see the contradictions? I don't mean any disrespect when I say this, but you sound like a woman who's been abused. Battered women's syndrome. The situation was bad enough for the cops to be called, yet when they got there, you tried to cover for her by saying the house was trashed already, when it wasn't. You know it's not your fault, yet you make excuses to yourself as to why it is...because you love her. That's understandable...just not excusable when you have a child who depends on you...for everything. It's up to you to make her life a good one...not one full of drinking and fighting.

I don't know nothin about the probation hold, so I can't help ya there. I do wish you the best of luck on the drinking. You can do it...hopefully, she can too. For the sake of the child...

 

imcheroke seems like you know everything....?

you can drink have a few beers here n there but what makes it bad is her gettin drunk n bein the opposite of herself. keep your head up n stay strong with her.

 

I have a 24 yr old daughter who is bipolar and has a child herself, so I ain't just talkin out my ass. I'm about sick of giving advice and people come on here and act like I'm a 14 yr old who thinks she knows everything. Unlike some people, I don't respond to threads unless I have some 'experience' in the matter. And, trust me...at my age, I have a lot of experiences under my belt. I am genuinly trying to help because I know how this goes...my daughter is just like this... And, the thing is, once the cops start pokin in your business when you have a child, you best believe that childrens protective services won't be far behind. CPS don't give a rat's ass if you have mental problems...that just gives them even more reason to try and take your child away.

I sympathize with Op's girlfriend much more than you could imagine...but, the child has to come first. There's only so much you can do to help someone and sometimes, the only way you can help is to step back and make them help themselves.

And, no...if you're on medications that are not supposed to be mixed with alcohol, you can not just have a few beers here and there.

 

Mental illness is not a scape goat.

 

I wish I could rep you again, but I need to spread some more around.

This is such a complex issue here, honestly GC isn't going to be much help to you. What I can suggest is that you and your co-parent get into some professional counseling immediately. As others have stated your daughter needs to be the number one priority. If you're still drinking and drugging it up often, that needs to stop for the sake of the child. You can still be an effective parent when stoned, not so much when drunk.

Treat alcohol like it's a poison, that's the only way. About 10 years ago my doctor told me that if I wanted to live a long life that I needed to stop drinking. I asked him what would happen if I didn't and he said basically that he'd see me in 6 months for a liver biopsy. Granted I have what's called "fatty liver" but it was still bone chilling. I can't say I haven't touched a DROP since, but I can count the number of alcoholic beverages I've had since then. It's tough, but you have to do what's best for your child first.

Your co-parent (I'm not calling her your ex) needs more help than you can provide, and YOU CANNOT FEEL GUILTY about her situation, that was her choosing, not yours. Don't beat yourself up about it. She has to be responsible for her actions. She needs to understand that her life is not just about her, but about your child as well.

Irresponsible behavior should not be rewarded.