what's up guys. so obviously every one has heard girls say that they're attracted to guys with confidence. they tend to date massive douche bags because they have confidence, and that's sexy. but what exactly are they confident in? and, on a side note, how can you girls NOT see that a certain dude is a total d bag? it's blindingly obvious to me, almost immediately when meeting a person, whether or not they're a total piece of shit. i'm not judgmental, i'm just observant. now i'm a humble dude, but i have plenty of self confidence. i guess i'm trying to find the balance between staying my humble self while still expressing the self confidence i already possess.
i just don't have it in me man. i loathe arrogant people, i couldn't act like they do if you paid me.
They are confident in themselves. They are independent. Most importantly, they don't need the girl. The girl wants them. They don't cater to the girl and many times they have other women at their disposal. This can, of course, come off as douchey (and many times is), but when it comes to women, being humble will move things fairly slow. You have to know what you want and not give a fuck about being humble or nice. Humbleness and niceness is, in itself, a method many men use unsuccessfully to get at women. But women don't want what they can have. That's boring. They want someone who already has shit going for them. They want men who are already desirable by other women.
i feel you. guess i just need to find my rhythm with girls. i've been talking to the girls at work more as a kind of practice. i just say whatever i would with my friends (for the most part) and go with it. make a lot of eye contact, smile, etc.
It's really just a choice. I mean, I like sex but I have better things to do than try to fuck a woman simply because it feels good and I have a pair of testicles. I just enjoy conversing with people. I'd much rather have a good conversation with someone worth having a conversation with than fuckin' a dumb broad.
that's what i always tell my friends. i think that's why my taste in girls is so much different than anyone else i know. my attraction to a certain girl is way more than just her physical appearance. if she's slightly cute with an awesome personality, she becomes a 10.
just be yourself bro. There are plenty of broads in this world, you'll get a legit one who'll appreciate you for being the stand up guy you probably are. Humble people are the best. Be patient. Don't change yourself - and disrupt your natural comfort zone by becoming a douche only to please a certain group of stupid females. If a girl don't want you it's her loss I know this, you know this, she never deserved you in the first place. Have fun with the douche bag your with and that shit life you'll have is what I say to them. Disregard females like that, that's all I can say.
ha your just like me dude. I dated a lingerie model with really a shit personality. Worst decision ever. Sure the sex was great early on, but there was no bonding at all seems like we just met up for a booty call.. no real relationship a total waste. Ever since that (2 years ago), I've change my ways of evaluating women. - Personality - Intelligence - Sense of humor - Shared interests - Morals, ethics, are they a good person to everyone else in addition to me? (punctuality etc. comes in play here) after all those are checked off, okay what does she look like? it will matter, but minimally compared to everything I listed above. It's really hard for me to find a girl like above^^ because for some reason all the girls I've encountered really don't want a BF or a legit guy on the regular. 80% of the girls I've encountered in college (they may be nines and dimes to - most of the time are) only want casual shit. They basically want to phuck with no commitment and do fun things a couple would do, basically be whores really saddens me. Then the other 20% will think I'm a player, or I'm hiding something. I can't be this nice and laid back of a dude. I can't naturally be this funny, loving character - there must be a catch. I've just concluded that college girls aren't worth the hassle. Won't give any of them the time of day anymore Wasted my time wayy too much before hooking up with broads with zero meaning. Or trying to prove myself to the broads who thought I was a player.
You can't be too picky though. I say game all the women you can, then scratch off those who you don't dig. You'll be much more successful. Trust me!
Self confidence, in everything that relates to you or what you do, is what women find attractive. Self confidence, alone, will not get you the woman though. In fact, there's no guarantee you'll ever get a specific women with any amount of skills. Every guy who routinely picks up chicks knows this. That's why you see them treat women like shit. They don't matter(from the guys perspective). If they don't like you, oh well, a million more fish in the see. If they like the guy, no matter how the guy treats them (well, up to a point, but you'd be amazed with what you can get away with), they'll try and get with them. What you don't see is the fact that this asshole probably got turned down by 10 women before this one. He doesn't care though. It's all part of the game. And it only becomes easier over time for him. As far as why women can't see a dbag in front of them when they "obviously" are, that's simply a difference in perspectives. You're the guy who's probably standing across the room watching another guy reel in a women, perhaps one you wished you had, while saying or acting in a way that you don't approve of. The fact that you're paying attention to another guys women and not yours implies you don't have one. This triggers some sort of defense mechanism in your head causing you to gather up all your biased information and deduce that the man who beat you out in that moment only did so because he was a douche, therefore freeing you of all guilt (so you think) associated to losing a possible mating partner to another male. "Douche" is what the loser calls the winner when they have nothing better to say(Think about it, it's only a word for the lazy). Her on the other hand, assuming she's fallen for him, only see's a confident funny guy with a risk taking personality or something of the sort. Anything he does wrong, especially to her, can easily be pushed out of her mind and rationalized to fit with what she wants (In this case, getting with the "douche"). What I'm basically trying to get at here is she only sees everything good about this guy while you, the guy who's staring from across the bar, see all the bad. On a side note, how can you not be judgmental if you label a person immediately upon meeting them? Here's a tip about getting with women or the woman of your life. Be yourself if you want to find your soul mate. Play the game, be the douche if you want to get with lots of women. Either way, you'll still need confidence, you'll still piss someone off and you'll still find happiness. So why worry?
Its hard to be happy sober after 4 years of smoking all day everyday. When well i be happy with myself?
When you chose to let everything go. Let go of your past and quit thinking about the future. Think positive and force yourself to become happy. Eventually you will reach a state of happiness.
being arrogant isnt being confident. being confident is being able to put yourself in situations where you might appear to be vulnerable and act like you dont give a shit about it...like a motherfucking boss.
I would say don't worry about being arrogant, don't ride your own nuts all the time but don't worry about coming off as a jerk. Hell I'm an arrogant jerk to people(and ladies) and they still love me for who I am; it's not the worst thing to be and I hate to tell you this but being arrogant does show that you have confidence and that is attractive. Just don't over do it, be a go getter who's got his eyes on the prize not a dickhead. I get called an asshole by girls all the time, ALL THE TIME, and that's not a bad thing actually; girls will call me an asshole all the while I have them wrapped up in my arms naked after a romp. I'd rather a woman call me an asshole than call me sweet tbh.
There are a lot of dumb chicks, just like there are a lot of dumb guys. Just hope they don't procreate.
just be patient. girls want guys to come up and initiate conversation, just pick the girls you see noticing you.