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Extreme feelings of guilt and paranoia when high

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by laughing_gas, Nov 13, 2014.

  1. #1 laughing_gas, Nov 13, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2014
    I am fairly new to smoking and today when I got home I decided to smoke a bowl (this is the first time i ever smoked weed at home, btw). Anyway after about 3 hits I was on my ass and I got extremely high. only it wasn't a good high. I had extreme feelings of guilt and paranoia. I was extremely worried and paranoid about everything. I thought my neighbor might have seen through my windows and saw me smoking weed, and called the police. I was scared the red dot on my PS3, I was thinking somebody was pointing a gun through my window and the red dot on my PS3 was the laser-guided aim. I heard an engine rev outside (it sounded like it was right next to my ear, but for all I know it could have been miles and miles away) and I thought somebody had pulled up into my driveway and they were going to break into my house. I basically just thought everybody and everything was out to destroy me. I was both mentally and physically impaired to the point where I had lost all coherent thought, perception, sight, movement, etc and I was just bombarded with so many preposterous, paranoid thoughts. I wanted the high to end so badly, I even took my 2 gs of weed and my bowl and I threw them in the trash (only to retrieve them later on, realizing how stupid it is to throw away nearly $70 worth in goods).
     
    Then I started thinking "what if my parents just suddenly came home from work early and saw me like this?" and I was getting extremely worried my parents were going to come home and catch me smoking weed. "If my parents catch me smoking this, that's it. My life will be over."
     
    Then I got these thoughts like "anybody could walk up my driveway, smell the weed, call the police, and my life will be forever changed"..."the mailman could be in my driveway one second...next second I could be getting arrested and charged with felony..." "Somebody could be simply walking by my house on an afternoon stroll one second...next second I'm in custody."
     
    I then started feeling incredibly guilty. I felt like my parent's immense trust in me was hanging by a short little thread. I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror...eyelids swollen and red...and I literally said out loud to myself "I have become everything I ever hated." "Look at me, I'm a complete f****ing mess." I was getting these absolutely horrible feelings of guilt that I have never gotten before. 
     
    After I came down from my high, I realized there was a security camera that my dad had installed pointing right at the exact spot where I was smoking, and all the footage from that camera is recorded and archived somewhere that only my dad knows how to get to. I guess that is a dilemma for another day but I am just wondering how to get over these extreme paranoid and guilty thoughts while high. 

     
  2. #2 Bipolar_Crazy_Patrick, Nov 13, 2014
    Weed does that to some people. Drugs affect people differently. Don't feel bad about it. Youre not alone.
     
  3. #3 Patricia, Nov 13, 2014
    The more you think about it the more the paranoia takes over.. just relax. Watch a funny show and calm down
     
  4. #4 Sade, Nov 13, 2014
    Jesus Christ man chill. You took too many hits. Next time pack half a bowl sit and wait. If that is not enough then pack another.
     
  5. #5 andy85258, Nov 13, 2014
    Ah the noob days, how i dont miss thee. Next time it gets like that drink a glass of cold milk but not all at once. In my experience that tends to reign in an out of control high. 
     
  6. #6 Apollodajin, Nov 13, 2014
    Holy crap man you just described exactly what I feel most of the times. I mean EXACTLY. After I smoke I keep walking around the house thinking my neighbors saw me smoking and smelled the weed and called the cops. Then I keep thinking my parents heard the lighter noise or something. But I got used to it, after a while the paranoia hits you, but not so hard because you know it's just bad trip from your mind and you learn to manage it away.

    But this camera thing,sorry bro. Rookie mistake! Always look for cameras ,discreetly. You might as well tell your parents you tried for the first time in your house. Pretend you didn't notice the camera.


    Hemp
     
  7. #7 enjoyandlive, Nov 13, 2014
    u smoked too much. take smal hits too
     
  8. #8 The Discovery, Nov 14, 2014
    Don't smoke by yourself until you're used to how it feels.
     
  9. #9 laughing_gas, Nov 17, 2014
    Now that I think about it, I also had some suicidal thoughts. I never once thought about suicide, but when I was high, I was thinking stuff like "I could just kill myself now and not even care" "What better time to kill myself than now"...like this was one of the most scariest things that's ever happened to me. I was always under the impression that weed just relaxed you and made you feel loose. I didn't know it f*cked with your mind and made you think about suicide...?
     
  10. #10 sleepingblade, Nov 17, 2014
    Indica in massive amounts make me paranoid. Sativa in massive amounts makes me giggly.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. #11 Dynamite089, Nov 17, 2014
    OP, stop smoking weed for now. Maybe it will be useful later in life. Right now its not doing you any good. Just drop it for now and carry on without.
     
  12. #12 s A t I v A, Nov 17, 2014
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  13. #13 SlightlyStonedSD, Nov 17, 2014
    you are brainwashed by society into thinking you're doing something wrong and you're beating yourself up about it.

    get your homework done on time and then smoke all you want lil homie you're not hurting yourself, your parents, or anyone else
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. #14 highasballz, Nov 17, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 17, 2014
    Paranoia is just your ego defense mechanisms going into overdrive. You have to learn how to control it. These are just thoughts in your brain remember that, let them pass. Like dust in the wind.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. #15 GeorgeSebastian777, Jul 7, 2019
    Reading this while high is extremely funny
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. #16 Deleted member 466836, Jul 7, 2019
    I’m sorry tl:dnr
    Don’t smoke marijuana. Simple. It’s not for everyone.
     
  17. #17 hardrokker, Jul 7, 2019
    New smokers, especially underage new smokers (obviously too many on this board given their posts) may have such thoughts while experienced smokers may have a healthy measured fear of being busted, such is far from what you describe. That probably reflects how less than stable and logical you are when not high too. One does not become "good" from the beginning at dealing with feelings and mental states while being high as it takes experience and time. In general do not recommend teenagers regularly smoke weed for the long term success of their lives.
     

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