I don't even really know where to begin with this... I've been thinking a lot lately about life and in searching for answers all i've ended up with are more questions. I just graduated High School and i'm off to college in the Fall and although i'm happy I just have this feeling like im riding a rollercoaster and I have to go where it takes me and I can't get off until the ride is over. I don't know what I want to do with my life and feel as if any meaning has been clouded over by nonsense. My parents want me to get a good job and have a kids and live in a suburban community just like 50 million other people. At first I thought that I definetely didn't want that, but then I thought that maybe the only reason that I don't want that for me is because it's what my parents do want for me. I am the total opposite of my parents and I don't know whether it's because that's truly the way I am or I only am that way for the sole purpose of not being like my parents. And then I think "why should I be just like every other schmuck on the planet, I should just do what I want regardless of what other people think." But then I think that maybe I am deliberatley being different for the sole purpose of not being the same. Do you see my Dilema? How do I actually know what I want and what I am without using anything as a "benchmark"? How can I exist objectively without subjectively being compared to something else?