Okay so me and my ex girlfriend named Kasie broke up after 2 years, it was about 4 or 5 months ago. I was heart broken blah blah blah, we fought and shit and I tried to get her back for the first 2 days and then I just stopped, but now she still texts me and calls me for STUPID ass reasons. Like to ask me if I have one her moms friends numbers or to see if I want to ride with her to give blood? I have told her 3 or 4 times to STOP, that I don't want ANYTHING to do with her and she will say "Okay haha" or "Consider it done" in a sarcastic tone but give it anywhere from a few days to two weeks and she will call or text me. She has a new boyfriend so WTF!?!? Why the fuck won't she leave me alone, I've made it clear numerous times to stop, when I see her I ignore her and I never say hi. On facebook (We are not friends on facebook, I hear it from a friend who has her as a friend on Facebook) I see her post things like I don't know what to do, or I'm so confused and then sometimes she will put Going to see my boyfriend and shit like that, it doesnt bother me and I could really care less, but what the fuck is her problem? Oh and btw I forgot to mention she is bipolar or she has depression and not to mention she has a few screws loose. Help anyone?
Both myself and friends have had a similar experience, and usually there's only one reason for this behavior: Her current boyfriend is not fulfilling her (usually emotional) needs. She's sexually attracted to the boyfriend she's with now, but he's not providing her with the companionship/shared interest/emotional support/insert-non-sex-relationship-aspect-here that she can remember getting from you. As a result, she calls, texts, and tries to meet up with you in the hope of getting what it is she needs from you while still getting the physically-driven relationship she has with her current boyfriend. It's important to see that this usually happens on a subconscious level. She is not thinking this through in this manner. In her mind, it will usually look like "I had such a great FRIENDSHIP with that guy, it's a shame to lose it," or "He's always been so understanding, I bet he'd be interested to know this..." or "This is a funny story, I want to share it with him..." But all of these statements are really code for "I cannot share this with my current boyfriend, but I used to be able to share it with my ex, so let me see if I still can..." There's only one solution: you have to ignore her. If she calls you, don't pick up. Don't return her calls. Delete her texts without reading them. Un-friend her on Facebook if you have to. Do whatever it takes. The funny thing is (and this is what has led me to believe my conclusions here), in both my personal experience, and when this has happened to friends, when you successfully begin to ignore her, she will break up with her current boyfriend within a month or two. Once she comes face-to-face with the reality that her needs aren't being met, she'll move on. However, you have to stop inadvertently meeting her needs for this to happen.
That's what I figured but I haven't had any friends really go through this yet, but I can understand completely. You really helped me a lot and thank you. You don't think she will try and start another relationship with me do you? That is definitely not something I want to happen at all. I know her pretty well, like the back of my hand to be exact and I really feel that she does not want to be with me, it's just strange the way she acts. I also know that her current boyfriend is a complete piece of shit, I know a few girls that he is still trying to hook up with even though he is with her.
She won't try too hard to get back with you IF you are highly successful at ignoring her. Once she realizes you aren't picking up her calls, she'll tend to get the hint pretty quickly. Honestly, it sounds like she's just not too sure what she wants. This might be because she's young, or even just conflicted. Many people (men and women) often think they don't want exactly what they DO want. Hopefully, once you start to ignore her, she'll leave you alone, and that will be the end of it.
There is a part of me that wants to date her again and then drop her ass the curb. I know thats messed up but given the chance I just might do it.
Ignoring her is the way to go man. I broke up with my gf of 2 years back in June and I told her to stop contacting me, but like your ex, every other week or so I"d get a stupid text or something. It's a shame because if she could stop trying to please every guy who shows interest in her I'd take her back, but she's too soft, too emotional. The second a cute guy shows interest in her she takes it as, "Oh you want to date me and be with me forever?"..when we all know the guy is thinking, "I wanna fuck the shit outta you." I've cracked and responded to her texts and am even friends on facebook. Idk what I'm doing....
Okay I was gonna stay away just cause I'm tired of my ex but dude, you hit right on the head. I was so pissed at my ex because of all the shit I knew was going on behind the scenes and it was hard to not hate her for it. I knew she wanted one thing from me and one thing from another guy, she was just so stupid she didn't see that's what she was doing, like you said, she would just tell me how important I am too her, when I knew she just wanted me around that understood her while she got fucked by some other guy god I hate girls. oh man. I gotta stop now time to smoke.
Bro I feel ya, she is with some douche bag named Cody who is just using her. I know a couple girls he is trying to get with while dating her, but I now could care less. I am so happy without her, I miss a lot of things about her but not in a bad way. It was a learning experience that really took discipline to get over her and not to contact her. Just stay strong man and you'll find someone way better bro. Plus we all date Mary Jane