let me keep it straight to the point. i want to stop smoking weed for good! ive stopped for months at a time, a time when i thought i would join the military. but when i stop, sometimes i feel like im fuckin stuck in my parents house and cant do anything about it. i know i CAN do something about it i just dont know what! i do have a 3 year old daughter that is basically under my care 100% of the time, other than when my parents watch her while im at work. the baby mama loves my daughter and wants to take care of her, but due to housing situation she cant take her right now. me and her have been on and off, and i really just want the pain to end. of course it is impossible to completely cut her out of my life because shes my daughters mother! but i feel like whenever an old picture of her pops up, it brings me back to the good times. and then i get all fuckin sad and depressed because im not as happy as i once was, or what i thought i was. i just want to get over her FOR GOOD!@#$%^&* and i want to stop smoking weed for GOOD!@#$%^&* any tips at all would be fantastic. another question: my parents are older, 60s well just say. ive noticed theyve become a lot more stressed, more tired, and somewhat, unaware (asking where the TV remote is, asking how to fix the computer, getting aggravated and cursing in front of my daughter, those kinds of things). they say they can take care of my daughter while i am deployed, but honestly, im scared. im scared of missing my daughters birthdays, cuts, scrapes, accidents, missing her grow into a young lady. i feel like i am the stable person in my daughters life. i just dont know if my parents can handle another child for 4 to 8 years, on top of my sister who is 14 and in a rehab across country. i dont know what to do anymore. ill probably go back to school and work on my biology degree, but its simply not quick enough. ive been fuckin around for so long that i dug a hole too deep to crawl out of, i feel. let me have it, ive heard it all already and i need a punch in the dick anyway. bring on the harsh! EDIT: sorry but i had to add that i do work at least 50 hours a week, one at a deli which sucks and the other a dog kennel which i do enjoy and i go to karate at least 2 times a week. i would like to get back to 4 like i used to before i made excuses..
you cant rush life. as nice as it would be to simply by at the point where we want, the (often arduous) journey has its purpose. if you want to stop smoking you just need to stop. plain and simple. you have to really want it. it may suck but its not like youll have physical withdraw so its all mental willpower. personally, i wouldnt dream of not living with my daughter. better to work minimum wage and live in a trailer with your kids then to miss years of their lives for some extra pocket change. the kids are the whole point of making the money anyway, and i guarantee they would gladly trade some extra toys and activities for seeing daddy every night.
Sounds like you just need the motivation to get yourself out there man. If you do to the military route you could apply for on base housing and have your baby mom stay there with y'all's daughter while you are deployed.
Two choices OP...sit around lamenting...or get to fucking digging bro! Your ass ain't gonna dig itself outta that hole. And seriously? It sounds like your parents are being the parents to your little girl now. If anything you being in the house with them just makes you like a big brother. You aren't the authority there. They are. Go join the military. Get some education and experience there. It'll be over before you know it. Or go to school if you can afford it. But sitting around and doing nothing.....? Ain't gonna happen that way chief. You ain't doing your daughter any good being there. So go do something for her, and quit worrying about you. Don't mean to come off as harsh guy, but in all honesty...I think that is what you want, and need. Yeah, stop smoking weed. Go talk to a recruiter, and get the hell on with your life. For shit's sake man move in a direction...any direction.