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Drug Tests and Detox

Discussion in 'Seasoned Tokers' started by Die Raketmensch, Jun 6, 2003.

  1. Hi. After years of smoking and living the good life, I've made the decision to join the US Military. Problem is, you don't get in unless you pass a drug test. Now, I know the best way to pass a drug test is to kick, but after attempting to go cold turkey several times, I'm still smoking (going to right after I finish typing this message in fact).

    So, all you fine ladies and gents, I need help. I've been pouring over the lists of detox and masking products online, considering which to buy. So, does anybody out there have any information pertaining to drug tests, experience with products, or inspiring words? Anything would be appreciated. Thanks
     
  2. my friend, unless they watch you pee into a cup, then I recommend "The Urinator" I've used it and it works great, just get a friend to hook you up with some clean piss, and you'll be set, guaranteed. Do a google search for the urinator, it helped me get my job when they sent me to a doctor to get me tested, it'll help you get in the army, Good Luck!
     
  3. Yo homie go buy some niacin it'll clear your shit up in a jiffy that and crandberry juice! it worked for me when i was on probation...
     
  4. Sorry nate, but niacin doesn't do shit, other than turn you weird colors and make you really hot. Cranberry juice might help a little bit in flushing out the system. the key is to flush the system the day OF the test. Detox drinks help to keep the creatinine levels up in your pee so it stays yellow and not so watered-down looking, even though it's way watered down. So here's how you pass: Get some high end detox (the kind that says its for heavy users and 200lbs.+) it should run about $35-45. and don't smoke for at least 2 days before the test. Make sure to follow the directions and take several pisses before you go take the test. Make sure to have a full bladder so the sample you give them is right in the middle of your stream, because the beginning and the end have higher toxin levels. do all that, and you should pass. you could get a urninator, or even the one that looks like a real penis, but that is some risky-ass shit. Last drug test I took, this motherfucker stood no more than four feet behind me while I stood at the urinal to fill the cup up. I stopped, turned around and asked him, "dude, are you gay?"

    not really. but it would have been funny if i did.
     
  5. Thanks. Seems I have my options. The Urinator probably wouldn't work though, they got marines watching your every move for most of the day before you take the test. The detox stuff seems like an alright bet though. Has anyone had anything about those seven to ten day fluching prgrams. I got some time before I go so I want to be as thorough as possible.
     
  6. stop smoking. just stop. if you dont have the will power to stop toking, then how will you do thorugh boot camp? how will you survive military life?? not to make it sounds dumb, but come on! get real! if you really want this, than you will stop COLD TURKEY. check your pms.
     


  7. No need for me to say anything now!!!! Thanks Sensi!
     
  8. Yah your going to have to stop, Lady ganja will be waiting for you when you return. In the meantime Ive used one of those guaranteed 24drinks an I passed for an employment screening. That and smoking abstinence could give you the edge. :)

    ick
     
  9. Yeah, cold turkey is obviously the way to go. I certainly wouldn't be lighting up in the miltary, granted. It's more a matter of schedule than self-control, and of course if I'm going off for four years of yes-sir-no-sir I'm going to want to get all the ganja time possible.

    I wouldn't dare smoke while in the service. If you're caught you get a dishonorable discharge and can face jail time. it's pretty severe. I guess the top brass saw those old clips of the soldiers in Vietnam taking the shotgun hits and figured that was why we lost the war.
     

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