Yo guys, So last night I was out with some friends having a few js by the river, it's a cool place with a waterfall on the opposite side of the water which is all lit up at night, there's these 4 sandstone blocks on the path into the woods that you can sit on and watch the waterfall so it's a pretty nice place to be smoking. Anyway, we stood on the beach for the first j and decided to go up the stairs to the blocks to sit down for the second, this was the beginning of my wallets downfall, I sat down and realised that having my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans was a bit uncomfortable so took it out and sat it next to me on the block. After a couple of minutes I picked my wallet up to put in my bag since the block was kinda dirty, so I put it in my bag and as I'm zipping it up my drink moves and knocks the wallet straight back out and onto the floor. I thought that was kinda annoying, having to pick my wallet up, so I bend down next to the bench and pick it up, noticing it's strangely landed standing up rather than flat and has something stuck to it that I thought was a leaf, I was just about to flick it off when I got the whiff, it was awful, the smell of shit that close to me, my hand nearly touching it. I ended up having to kinda flick the poo off my wallet by waving the wallet about, of course it landed money side to the Poo and everything was a bit poopy, luckily my cards avoided it and so did the £5 note I had, I tried washing the wallet in the river with no luck, the poo wouldn't budge, so I ended up sticking some rocks in it to keep it open without having to touch the poppy areas, pulling my £5, cards and driving licence etc out and throwing the wallet into the river. I had to wash all my cards and the £5 in the river, then when I got home the sink and dried on the radiator. TLSS - dropped my wallet of a bench and straight into a dog poo, picked the wallet up with said poo still attached and shook it about to remove the poo, then tried to wash it in the river and had to throw the wallet away in the end. Here's a photo of me trying to wash my wallet in the river -
One of the friends I was with's nickname is Poopyshoes because he's stood in so many shits when we've been out, it only made sense for me to now be poopywallet :lol:
This reminds me of a story in my teen years. Buddy takes his young girlfriend out into the woods to drink and fuck, and gets her drunk for the first time. She has to shit in the woods; doesn't know how to do that, and shits right into her drawers. Comes back to the car all covered in shit. Ah, teen romance.
I'd rather drop my wallet into the toilet before throwing it at that huge pile of shit.....just saying.