The dude I've been loving for the past year pretty much made it clear that he doesn't love me, he doesn't want a relationship, he fucked my best friend, and told me I'm looking for love in the wrong place, and will most definitely not find it in him. What a fuckin Wednesday. I'm down in the dumps for sure. I feel like I've invested so much fucking time and energy into what I thought was the absolute perfect person for me. I thought it would pay off but now I feel pretty alone, like I did something wrong. I'm angry for no reason and know that sleep is a whore for everybody except me. He's so set on the fact that he's going to die that he doesn't want to commit to anything or anyone, he just wants to have friends and a good time. Thats great and I dig that about him, but where does that leave me? I'm a nice person when I'm not scum. I love strongly and live recklessly. All I ever wanted to do was make that dude smile as much as I could, and somehow it backfired and I feel like I swallowed an anchor. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I just finally realized that love is inherently stupid, and has no logic. It's not my fault for loving the guy. But it's my fault for trying to fix something that was beyond broken. Fuck you Wednesday. [/vent]
that suck's... I can understand your anger with all that time you've spend on the person and you've come to love them. then it hurts to find out the other person didn't love you as much as you've givin to the relationship. move on.. you'll find someone who will cherish you and make you laugh & that 100% relationship your looking for. & maybe dying has something to do with it? trying to live his life more but his excluding you maybe from more pain?
Look at the bright side. this guy just saved you a bunch of wasted time. this wednesday may be shitty, but next wednesday wont be nearly as bad and neither will the next.
True that to the last 2 posters. I'm not the type to let people bring me down so much. I'm not set on feeling shitty, I'm trying to keep occupied and not think so damn much. But everyone is entitled to some heartbreak. He wants to stay friends, that dude will go to the end of the earth for his friends. It's not like he's calling me a piece of shit. He just lives by a different set of rules I guess. I think I want some fuckin beer. Maybe of few nights of partying too hard will help me feel a little better.
Some people are lone wolves...they only care about living for today and don't like making commitments because that takes part of the "suprise" out of life I'm sorry it had to go down like that but it is what it is