Dont you fucking hate it when...

Best one so far, it really blows

 

Don't you hate it when you're watching porn and they cut to a camera angle where all you can see is the guy's balls swinging while his asshole playing peekaboo with you?

Why that shot was ever invented in porn is beyond me, I would hate to be the camera guy.

 

When you're out drinking and baked as fuck and all those beers are turning into massive journeys to the washroom. I fucking hate it when I have to keep rockin' a piss.

 

i hate when i go to bed and forget to turn my swag off...

 

You stumble into your room at 3am totally crossfaded, sit down at your desk, and then pass out cold, slamming your head on the desk and thus breaking your glasses?

I still have a headwound from that shit.

 

Don't you fucking hate it when you're trying to concentrate on some awkward/difficult task, meanwhile someone is hassling you about WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT FASTER? YOU IDIOT, NO, PUT THE THING IN THE THING AND THEN TURN THE- COME ON, HURRY UP!!

And don't you fucking hate it when someone says something horribly insulting, then when you react, you get, "hey, HEY! I don't want to fight!" "I mean, you're a stupid cunt who should die but- hey, hey hey let's not fight!" (classic passive-aggressive mom tactic)

Fucking Type A personalities all need to DIAF.

 

I fucking hate it when there is a movie or show set to play on tv so you smoke a fat bowl 5 mins before it starts, turn it to the channel and some stupid ass fucking sports show carrys out for 30 mins before the movie starts.

fuck i hate that shit so much.

the movie was supposed to play at 11:00 but got put off until 11:30 for sports high lights. but its on now so later.

 

Don't you hate it when you setting up your grow room and your stoned-ass accidently rams yourself with a box-knife, straight into the meat and vains of your wrist?

And then when the paramedics show up, they start reading your hightimes and you 'Cannabis grow bible' while laughing at you and bandaging you stupid ass up, because your in shock and you can't even sit up.

Then, your so fucked up, you ask if methadone would affect your tetanus shot, and they start grilling you about WHY you may have 'dones, while completely not giving a fuck that your bout to grow pot.


THEN, the paramedic compliments your gages, and shows you his, tells you a story about getting high before his med finals, and you don't understand it at all because your head is swimming and you don't know WTF is going on because you've lost at least a pint of blood, or two, or whatever amount is significant, and then they leave and your like..

Fuck, i'm a stupid asshole, someone facepalm me.

Don't you hate it when that happens...?

 

Which brings forth my posts of hates;

1.) Don't you hate it when you can't buy swag?
2.) Don't you hate it when you say something and no one listens?
3.) Don't you hate it when you sit in line at a drive thru only to find out they're out of what you want?
4.) Don't you hate it when you get those annoying ass chain letter texts?
5.) Don't you hate it when you get no texts?
6.) Don't you hate it when you just find something to hate?

 

Don't you hate it when you have no god damn food at ur house and have to eat a fucking bowl of cerial for dinner and you haven't eaten any thing since breakfast which was a bowl of cerial.

 

^dont you hate when you're broke and the only things you can afford are your rent and ramen?
luckily, im not in that position anymore. that shit was brutal. the thought of fucking ramen makes my stomach turn now

 

Don't you hate it when:
your dude tells you he'll be by soon, but shows up 3 hours later?
that one person keeps texting every 13.4 seconds?
you get a boner in an extremely awkward place?

 

I hate that. Every time I roll over it switches nostrils.


That's why I cut mah nose off.

 

Nose? I don't need no stinkin nose.

 

Don't you hate it when you forget where your nose is and you accidently sever your penis from your body?

 

So sometimes, when you need to blow your nose do you blow your load into the tissue instead?