My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 1/2 years. However, I recently have come to the realization that she is very dependent on me, and extremely clingy. I think the reason I haven't noticed this before was because I was somewhat the same way. I have matured and have become less clingy/dependent on her. It was getting bad over the summer. I noticed we were hanging out almost every second we weren't at our separate jobs. I even tried asking her for some time alone, but I got the response "You're pushing me away." I go to a university over an hour away from her, and I wanted to see if things would change with the time apart, but it hasn't. She constantly wants to come up here (side note: we did the same long-distance relationship my freshman year, she came here for my soph. year, and left my junior(current) year). She mentions that she can't do this distance thing again, and when I ask what she wants to do about it, she just says "you're just going to have to deal with how I act." I don't want to deal with this anymore. And I feel like if I were to breakup with her, she would do something drastic. I hate to say it, but I don't think she could handle it if we weren't together. I'm stuck
Well you have to somehow server ate yourself from her long enough for her to develop some friendships of her own so she's not completely dependent on you. Say your busy with homework and stuff for a few days. If it comes down to it then you just have to say " your gonna have to deal with how I act " because there just simply isn't enou days in the week. Maybe you can plan to do something with her whenever you see her on the weekends if you think you can. But your education and needs should come first and if, in return, she gets more independent then that's just icing on the cake Good luck.
Since I will be at college, which is over an hour away from her, i'm hoping she will start hanging out with her friends more. But she says she will always be depressed when I'm away from her.
If it is meant to be she will learn to enjoy the time you can spend together without being to crazy. Try buying her a dildo lol
reminds me a bit of my ex and i, gotta decide on what you want to do. you are going to college, you will be meeting A TON of new people, you will be maturing and growing as a person (hopefully), and the inevitable... you will change and so will she. the difference is do you guys grow together or grow apart? this happens to most people sooner or later, hang in there bro. things will work out in the long run as long as you keep moving in a positive direction
Bro you're not stuck If you don't wanna be with her anymore then don't. If she does something stupid to hurt herself because you break up that's on her. You gotta be responsible for your own actions
I wish my gf was more dependent of me bro weve been together for 3 years and have a little girl together an sumtimes i wish she payed a bit more attention to me but were cool. So maybe its not a bad thing bro. Be as open as possible straight up tell her wat u thinkin unless u really dont want her no more then just fuck it
The most amount of time we are spending away from each other is a week at the most. I think it's great that I get this time apart, because it allows me to cherish the time I'm with her. I care about her so much, I don't want to do anything to hurt her, yet I feel like I'm maturing and need to move on. ^Yes we are having sex lol
well a clingy woman means many insecurities. I wouldn't want to deal with a chic like that. My wife is secure enough for me to tell her I want to go hang with buddies, but she also eats up our time with each other and loves spending time with me. we found a healthy balance
you need to sit her down & say all of this to her, if she realises how its making you feel, im sure shell ease up a bit because she clearly doesnt want to loose you, tell her you feel suffocated, its not bad to feel like this, it doesnt mean you dont love her & dont want to spend time with her, you just dont want to spend every second of yore free time with her, thats perfectly reasonable, toy need to find a balance netwee time together & time apart & the only way you van do that is by talking to her properly, dont let her rant about how yoyre pushing her away, make sure you get youre side across, this can be fixed, if dealt with properly
Talk to her about it but REMAIN CALM THE WHOLE TIME. Don't raise your tone ONCE. And you'll only be closer.