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Does this sound like a good plan?

Discussion in 'Marijuana Consumption Q&A' started by Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014.

  1. #1 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    So my job pops random on site UA tests on it's employees (some guys have gone six or so years without getting drug tested even once just to have someone from HR randomly pull them to the side with cup in hand) but I like a good toke every now and again (off the clock of course) so I had to devise a way to keep my job and still be able to toke up. After giving it some thought I decided to purchase some synthetic urine (I payed $12 for xstream synthetic urine) and start taking it to work with me but then I remembered that the person administering the test has you empty the contents of your pockets before you enter the bathroom so I thought it might be a good idea to buy a bunch of pockets big enough to hold my bottle in and sow them to the inside of my pants legs so I can conceal my bottle in my hidden pocket just in case that dreadful day ever comes. Does this sound like a good plan? What are some ways I can improve on it?

     
  2. #2 WizardInBlack, Dec 2, 2014
    What i did was duct tape a couple rubber bands to the bottle and then put around my leg by my inner thigh, but idk if you'll be able to do that in your current situation or not, just trying to help. Sewing a secret pocket in your pants sounds like a pretty good idea though if you're that worried about it.
     
  3. #3 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    Yeah it'd be easier and way more comfortable for me to just stick the bottle in a hidden pocket everyday as apposed to taping it to my leg. Thanks for the reply though friend.
     
  4. #4 As Above So Below, Dec 2, 2014
     
    That's a tough situation. When I take pre-emp UAs I just wear underarmor spandex boxers (the really tight ones) and put the quick fix in after I heat it up.
     
    You could always switch to spandex boxers for good and keep the bottle around thigh level. It's not really that uncomfortable but I've never had to wear them for more than an hour. And then there is the issue with the temp...
     
    This seems like a huge hassle to deal with for just a toke here and there.
     
    My advice? Don't smoke that much and stay really hydrated and just hope you don't get called.
     
    You even said so yourself that some guys have been there for 6-7 years and they haven't had to take any. If it was me I'd just smoke a little here and there and try not to worry about it. I mean are you really going to bring fake piss with you to work everyday for 6-7 years?
     
    That seems like so much work for such a little reward -toking.
     
  5. #5 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    Yeah it is a hassle but I'm sure I'd get used to it. I mean It'll be the same thing as me swapping my keys and wallet to a new pair of jeans every night. And I'd rather not be employed for six or so years during which time I get all my raises ,vacation time ,benefits ,etc.... just to lose it all because I failed a drug test. With that being said I know what you'll probably say "then just stop smoking" and I would stop smoking but tbh I just got off probation after three years and I'm tired of some guy/chick thinking they know what's best for me so they try to tell me what I can and can't do on my own time. I guess what I'm saying is I'm the type of person that would rather fight the system instead of just going with it.
     
  6. #6 As Above So Below, Dec 2, 2014
     
    It's your life man do what you want. Hope that didn't sound rude lol. I have to take randoms also but they don't watch you and it's not on site. So I have plenty of time to prepare on my side. I also keep 2 bottles of QF around. 1 for the first one and 1 for the second one if there are any issues with the first one. 
     
    I'm with you, fight the system all you can! 
     
    But if * I * was in your situation I would either stop smoking or find a way around it like you are now lol.
     
  7. #7 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    Well it's complicated. Sometimes they send us to urgent care to be tested but that's a 50/50 chance. So I guess I'll just stick with my plan and hope for the best. My only problem at this point is as you said before getting the temp right. I have a hand warmer still in the package held to the bottle with a rubber band just in case I need to use it but I'm gonna practice getting it to the correct temperature with just my ass and thighs just in case I can't get to the hand warmer.
     
  8. #8 As Above So Below, Dec 2, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2014
     
    To the best of my knowledge it takes around 60 minutes of solid contact for it to get around 95-100 ish. It's always better to be a little over temp because you can cool it off. If it's not hot enough you are SOL because I can't think of a quick,effective method for heating it up, besides.... your asshole... :laughing: :laughing:
     
  9. #9 Goldmine, Dec 2, 2014
    sounds pretty good, but it really depends on the quality of these pockets youre gonna 'sew'..  get a professional, someone who can speak at least 4 licks of english god willing, and strategically layout some pockets in a set of pairs of pants you can rotate all the time.  the stitching would have to be good quality and how would you even do it without seams showing on the outside.
     
    location of the pckets is key... day after day any small discomfort will multply so you may have to test run with different areas,  and you dont want to have it on your outer thigh, for example bc IF youre carrying synthetic urine (as opposed to other non liquid things you could carry) and leaks were to occur then it would look odd.   You'd want it near your crotch, so you could just explain a leak away as simply pissing yourself..
     
    who knows they might ask you to strip down to your underwear, or give you a mouth swab, or a rectal swab.. so you can never cover every base.   Worst case, you just deny it.. thats what the President did. You were at a party but you did not had inhalations with that woman etc etc....   What difference does it make?
     
    [​IMG]
     
     
     
     
     
  10. #10 As Above So Below, Dec 2, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2014
     
    I'd pay to be in the office on that day!
     
    "Hey look everyone! Dave just pissed himself!"
     
    :laughing: :laughing:
     
  11. #11 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    Yeah the inner theigh would be the best place to put the pocket not only because of leaks but also because I could sit cross legged to warm the synthetic urine if need be. To hide the stitching all I can think of is to either use the same color thread as the pants or stitch the pocket onto another pocket :confused_2: . And of course no matter what I'll deny everything.
     
  12. #12 Delightfully High, Dec 2, 2014
    I have some large ass cheeks so I can just stick the bottle between them and that should do the trick. :D :laughing:
     
  13. #13 As Above So Below, Dec 2, 2014
     
    :laughing: :smoke:
     

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