Crazy sh*t my dad does...

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by budbudgoose, Oct 21, 2014.

  1. #1 budbudgoose, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    in honor of my dad's cakeday, thought i'd share a story about him.
    my dad, being super old school asian, loves fishing. he loves eating his catch even more. so much, that he carries packets of soy sauce with him whenever we go fishing. When he catches something, he'll filet, wash, then sprinkle a bit of soy sauce and swallow it, all within a minute of reeling it in. He does the same thing with sea urchins (uni). He'd walk along the rocks by the shore, find those spiny suckers, knife it, crack it open with a rock like an asian caveman, and suck the mucous-like sludge that people call uni. ack.
    anyway, when we visited cape cod, we took a swim in their crystal clear ocean. we were swimming for a while, riding the waves, and I guess my dad got really hungry. He dives down and disappears for a couple seconds. I'm thinking, "is he trying to catch something with his hands? bullshit there's no way". Then he surfaces with a huge grin on his face with something green sticking out his mouth. With his hands full of the same green thing, he proudly mumbles "LOOK! FRESH SEAWEED!" as he goes to town on them enthusiastically trying to hand me some like he just scored big the a busy tourist beach...with a bunch of white people around us.
    can't say that's a typical asian stereotype, but he definitely added that one to the books.
    what kind of crazy sh*t did your dad do that made you made you genuinely "wtf"?

  2. He sounds like quite the character!
    My dad was very knowledgeable about soo many different things.. he always threw me off growing up because he was soo down to earth and happy all the time and super straight edge kind of guy..
    He loved talking to people, the more the merrier.. and he always listened to every response.
    I guess the 'wtf' aspect comes from being raised by a man who was strong and stern, but at the same time a magnanimous person.
    I can honestly say I cannot think of a single person in the world or the next who would ever dislike or hate him..
    he talked himself out of a speeding ticket one time too... he like pulled a nice guy jedi mind trick on the cop. idk it was weird lol
    the apple definitely fell far from the tree, because I'm not so much outgoing as he was.
    Ooh crazy fathers....
    When I was about 7 my Dad was really into trying to treat me like a boy, out of desperation of really wanting one. So he was determined to get me into some sort of sport, and he decided soccer was the way to go. So the first game I sort of ran around avoiding the ball and if it came my way I'd run away-- scared of the ball. So my Dads solution was to stand me up against the fence in the backyard and kick soccer balls at me until I wasn't scared of them anymore. I had so many bruises, but I wasn't scared of the ball by the end of it. 
    Then the next year he got his boy and I didn't have to play anymore lol 
    Then there was this phase in my early teens when he was going through this mid-life crisis. It started with an earring, and then all of a sudden blonde hair, and then boom yellow sports car. Then came tight pants. Then came......the Tom Jones music. I'd be standing outside with the other kids waiting to be picked up and you could hear him coming 3 blocks down, "SHES A LAAAAAA-DAY!" "
    And then I'd have to get into that car when It rolled up. So humiliating.  :hide:
  4. It's OK to say shit on the forums :)
  5. Shit

    Pretty much any words can be said just not directed at someone in a name calling type deal
  6. My Dad has always, often embarrassingly, expressed his cultural heritage in the most profound and public of ways possible. The difference is that he's Irish, so it involves a lot of whiskey.
    I could fill an encyclopedia's worth of pages with stories from my old man. He's a lot of things, not least of all a character. :laughing:
    i dunno guys...doesn't look like it'll let me say anything but "dick".
  8. My dad used to invite me to bed with mom and him for 3 way sex. I never took him up on that.
    Anyway I was in Asia and i was surrounded by Asians at a busy tourist beach.
    ahh, so that's how that stereotype got started! lol.
  10. When I was around 14, we went to see the ocean on the BC side of Canada, and while we were walking along my dad spotted a large crab just sitting close to shore. So he went to grab a very large stick to try and "poke" it out of the ocean. This attracted the roughly 10 asian tourists attention that were close by. He kept poking the crab, and I finally just walked in there and grabbed it from behind. I had a pet crab when I was a kid and I knew if you grab it from behind the right way it can't pinch you. The crab was probably around 4 pounds, and it was flailing around and my dad was freaking out thinking I was in terrible danger and all the asians were clapping and smiling and saying "Eat the crab! Eat the crab!".  One of them went up to my dad and asked him in broken english if we were going to eat the crab, and my dad told him no we are going to let it go.
    It was like facial dominos, they went from the hugest smile to the biggest frown lol    We felt bad, and after we put it back and left they were still standing on the shoreline watching it for a good 5 minutes before they gave up.  We probably would of given it to them if I hadn't of been one of those stereotypical weird angst-y vegetarian teenage chicks, but I was dead set the crab wasn't going to be eaten because of me. 
  11. #11 budbudgoose, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2014
    i keep picturing the asians from your story at a seaworld. that place must be depressing as sh*t for them.
  12. Like a giant buffet you can't touch! Lol.

    Now I'm just in the mood for Pho...
  13. haha sounds like my zoology professor. fun fact which i learned from him is that uni is the gonads of the sea urchin lol 
  14. This is golden!
    Good story telling I could picture it haha

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  15. Dad pulled my hair and attempted to choke me when I was 14 because I accidentally broke the glass on our dining table because I was angry. My mom had to get him off of me.
  16. #16 lisamc, Oct 22, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2014
    My step- dad bought a bass boat and when he couldn't take it out, for whatever reason, he'd hook it up and move it from the front yard to the back yard and then back to the front yard. If he wasn't doing that he'd hop on his riding lawn mower and go around the lake mowing elderly peoples yards just to be nice. He's a wacky guy (not that that's wacky) Him and my mother have this bad habit of going on weird road trips when storms are about to hit. He nearly died in a parking garage when a hurricane was close.

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  17. #17 Johnny Blazed, Oct 22, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2014
    please tell me you atleast ate a little of that big score of seaweed just to humor him lol
    haha. i pretended to because he kept on shoving it in my face. I just remember it tasted super salty.

    goddamn it tina!
  19. You sound rike a rucky kid
    Seriously though your dad sounds awesome.
  20. I talk really fast when not on stage, and my dad can't always hear me. So this morning I say something with my back turned to him and he's like"I think you have a speech impediment, because I can't hear you"

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