No weed,job,money sittin here stressin the fuck out. I owe the court money still which I don't have. My car is STILL off the road because I was a junkie. I had so much shit going for me. I blew over 20 Grand on drugs within the last year. I feel like such a failure, I fucked up in school, I fucked up my 1 relationship I had with a girl she left me.(2 yrs ago, been pimpin it since) I fucked up financially. FUCK. I just want to fucking blow my fucking brains out.... Cause if I don't do that then I will end up robbing someone and going to jail. WTF. Im outta newports, there hasn't been any food in my house for months, Im still waiting for my food stamps but they aint comin yet. Not 1 business in a 30 mile radius is hiring. Im so sick of this shit. I don't even no what the fuck to do. All my original boys are either in the pen, dead or moved out with a wife n a kid. Im stuck here with a bunch of low life junkboxes who don't care about anything except getting high everyday. I want a car, appt, and some money. I have quit dealing and WILL not do it again because If i get caught with weight im killin some piggies. Id rather die than do a bid. Im at Rock Bottom.
Put on some beatles or the animals listin to the lyrics and just chill the fuck out. Tommorrow is a new day. It sounds like your at a point were your so down in the dumps that things can't get any worse and can only get better. Kepp your head up bro.
still cranked wide awake. no food im starving cant wait til 9am im goin to the packie wit my last 2 bucks and some change and gettin me an OE
damn son... u need some weed NOW. get yourself a sac and blaze it. then u gotta straighten your shit out! but blaze first.
I gots my sack and my ambiens! They combine to create the most awesome nights sleep ever! But seriously, I can relate. Alot of stress everywhere right now makes it hard to sleep. If it's a persisting problem, you might want get prescribed something like ambien. It'll knock your ass out guarenteed!
im good with ambien lol. If i cant sleep i gotta sort shit out myself. Drinking mad coffee atm hopefully my dude comes thru he just got a new bong and hes got some weed i hate to mooch but i do need it. So in 4 hours ill start drinking and late in the afternoon i hopefully will blaze
hey man its fuckin bad bein on rock bottom, I had an Ego Death on a very potent chem and yeah I know the sort of feelings. But with the little you have told me I know you may have somewhat of a state of control simply with what youve been through, best advice I can really give is make a stealth fuckin grow no joke for youself man. sell to your BEST buds and u can make some cash, but u can keep that shit stealth from the pigs no joke. grow some PERSONAL BUD man
got an outdoor grow at my buddys house, a few more weeks before i harvest em but Im done with the dope game. Been dealin since i was 12 im DONE with the lifestyle i wanna be legit for once in my life
yeah i feel ya, u can be legit in that way tho know what i mean. my best bro dealt chronic in the city livin in my house under my moms nose. crazy shit right there. aha. yoru fine man lol (i am fucked upt ho)
Im not gonna give you encouraging words and shit since ive never been there and my words are useless to your feelings. I can give you a suggestion tho, learn a craft a skill. thats the most important thing. for example, learn to design websites. you can start a business soley on that and make enough money to live in a house and own a car and support a family. NOw you dont need to really do that but theres tons of things out there: Carpentry, masonry, etc etc etc and they are al learnable independently without a school. Dont think its the end. heres a story. My parents lived in communist occupied romania, in 1989 they fled the country. if you were caught running away you were sent to prison or a labor camp. they got to america after my dad did 13 months in prison getting beaten every day and eating no more than a piece of chicken a day. He came to America with 5 dollars and 5 children to feed include his wife. Nowadays he makes 200,000 a year running his own business designing metal gates and railing and installing them in multi millionare dollar homes. he started simply by painting apartments in the ghetto, soon enough he started building houses for a living and so on and so forth. what im gettting at is all you need is a skill. my dads was construction with this he moved on and grew and from living in a communist country starving every day struggling to feed his family we now have a custom built home, 2.6 acres of land and about 12 different cars on our lot. You gotta start somewhere dude, be happy you dont need to feed anyone else other than yourself. your an independent man with potential, you can only move up from rock bottom. shit, if I were you id simply hire 2-3 people to slang rocks in your hood. so your not doing the dirty work and take off the top. if you get enough people you can make money to start up a decent honest business. im just saying man EDIT: I always want to add, someone like you that has experienced what you have can get somewhere. all those brtty rich kid teens getting handed money by their parents are never gonna do any work since they dont know how. theyve been spoon fed. someone like you has experience on the harshness of life and your generally just more experienced and toned. I always notice the ones who had it the roughest know whats up. like my dad he had it VERY rough and hes very inept in smart. he cant even speak straight english and he makes better money than most americans in our area and status.
I got a lot of skills,PC programming, electricity, hvac/plumbing, only problem is IM NOT CERTIFIED. I need to take a test/schooling (which cost money), which i dont have. Im gunna go make some MORE COFFEE and bum a nasty ass Marlboro light off ma moms yo i used to have people run for me all the time cuz, but i aint tryna fuck with that lifestyle no more, drama, gun play, roughin up cats who gotta pay, shiesty nigguhs tryna pinch big weight shit goes down. I had dudes in my own set murkin each other over drugs and money.
there you go dude, you got skills you can do it bro. fuck that certified bullshit, i know people who started plumbing companies and they dont know SHIT about plumbing. they used to shit in holes behind their house in Romania, you dont need certifications and resumes and shit bro. it will help but if you wana do it you can man, i believe anyone who has skills in something can use that to make money no matter where or who you are. im not saying itl be easy but its doable.
when u've hit rock bottom it can only get better . . . or, if u prefer . . . stop whining, get a job, get money, pay off the court (or sell your car, that'd be quick cash), get a girl, get some buds, and chill out cause once u see that it just takes a little effort on your part then u'll realize that moaping around the house and calling out to a bunch of strangers on a weed forum is a big fucking waste of time and u might just get motivated to hop on a bike and go pass out some resumes or fill out an application or 2. Hell, it might just be the ladder out of this shitty little hole you've dug for yourself.
Big difference in Plumbing and Programming. If that were the case, I'd be being thousands of dollars.