Aaahhhh I've been there man, except the girl in my situation was the hottest girl in high school. Imo, there is nothing wrong with thinking about her, after all, you can't really control what your mind thinks about, it's kinda on its own. Plus, you seem perfectly content with the fact that she has a boyfriend, and you're not trying to get with her or anything. A lot of it probably has to do with the fact that you've known her for a long time, and for that reason she has become an important person in your life. I'm not sure of the degree of friendship between you two, but the longer you know someone, the stronger the connection is. On a shrink level, it's probably your subconscious screaming at you to find someone like her for yourself. When you see her, you see the long-term relationship she has been in, and now that you have everything else you need in life, as you described being almost complete and all, you need that extra piece. Sooner or later, you're gonna want to find someone to settle down with, you don't wanna end up all lonely in the end. The mind has its own way of doing things, very mysterious indeed.
To the guy above.... Best advice ever man! Good vibes Don't worry op, life is crzy. You will find one just like her if not better. I don't think it'd be best to pursue her anymore than a friend Sent from my HTC One using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I'm just glad I can help! Best of luck on that journey for the right one amigo, it doesn't get any more exciting than that!
@ OP: "Can't Get This Chick Outta My Head" Good luck. I'm almost 63 and am doing the same thing, for the zillionth time in my life. This woman (she's still in her 40s) has been living with a guy for 12 years but is always kissing me on the lips every time I see her. I met her in February. That's not such a big deal, but she's got the most perfect hips/pelvis/buttocks I've ever seen -- and I'm a sucker for that. And there's nothing wrong with the rest of her body, or face, either. She's got more raw sex appeal than any woman I've ever kissed.
If it was meant to be it'll be. Just let it happen naturally, or she may have a deep seeded regret later. But keep that hope alive, she may seem like "it" but the real thing could be down the block and make you even happier. You'll get her
She's in your head because part of you enjoys the fantasy created by your instinctual "I want what I can't have" desire. We all have it. Sometimes our emotions are not rational, but we just have to overcome them. You seem like a very understanding and logical person OP. My advice for you is to stop thinking "I cannot let these feelings cloud my mind and create delusion anymore." Try this instead: embrace the fact that you have a huge heart and that there is a part of you which is aware of what qualities you want in a passionate, meaningful bond with another human being. In reality, love is present within all of us - yours is just waiting to express itself and she is seen (by your instinctual desire) as a potential outlet. Love is an incredibly powerful emotion. Embrace its existence within you rather than shunning it for misdirection.
I would ask her out, maybe that's what she is waiting for. Could be she wants out or maybe she loves him. You'll never know until you try. If she is all you think about, then my boy you are in love,believe me. I been there and happily married going on 35 yrs. So you my never know until you ask. Don't worry about her other relationship, right now, worry about yourself. GO FOR IT. Listen to your HEART. It knows best.
Hey Mindismoving, I thought it was very nice of you to ask for my advice. I am not great at advice involving women because people tell me I am a strange woman. . .haha. I think this is hard, and you remind me of the walking dead guy in Love Actually. Do you know what I mean by that? ^^That scene. Basically the best that you can hope for is that their relationship doesn't last. I don't think it'd be appropriate for you to say anything to her. I know it is hard, and that this is probably a really shitty situation for you. Don't encourage her to cheat, no one ever wins in that scenario. . .but it seems that you understand that. If she cheats to end up with you, well then who is to say that she wouldn't cheat on you. That once a cheater, always a cheater line applies to both men and women. Hey you said it yourself, it isn't hard for you to get laid. haha, there are other women out there and I imagine you are still young. I know it's all just semantics but it is really true, there are millions of women just waiting to meet you. You just have to put yourself out there. In the mean time, here is a hug. You seem like a good guy, don't change that.