Buzzkill stories

lol that sucks that would ruin anyone's high

 

Buzzkil huh?...........

I got one.....

I usually smoke alone. After work, I get my pipe, pack a bowl, go out in the yard and have at it. Then I'm ready for whatever my wife and kids wanna do for the rest of the night.

Well, this one particular day was the night before Thanksgiving. We have about 36 people over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so my wife does ALOT of cooking.

So there I am, locked to the couch, floating away on a beautiful cloud of happiness and daydreaming about the radiant warmth coming from the fireplace when it happened........

Our kitchen is completely open to our great room. The main part of the kitchen is only 20 or so feet away from the couch in the great room.

My wife was fighting a losing battle against a large aluminum pot that did not want to come out of the cabinet in the kitchen. She finally gave it a good pull and it came out.............along with every other pot, pan, skillet and pot lid that was in the cabinet.

Partial Buzzkill in 3....2......1.......

The sound of all of this hollow aluminum smashing on the ceramic tile floor was deafening. I mean rediculously loud. I'm pretty sure I not only had a small heart attack, I think I also shit, pissed, farted and came all at the same time as the sound woke me up.

I, however, wasn't as startled as my 165# Alaskan Malamute. He, my friends, lost a few years off of his life. He was sleeping in front of the fireplace on the floor in his favorite position; on his back, head turned to the side, back legs wide open and tongue laying out of an open mouth. He was the epitome of "bliss" until the ruckus in the kitchen happened.

With the position he was in, he was very awkward when he jumped up. You've all seen the split second of crazy torquing and twisting a dog goes through when they jump up after being startled. Well, his awkwardness combined with the fact that he was in a deep sleep made him stumble wildly for balance as he jumped up.

Complete and Total Buzzkill in

3......2.......1.....

Ever see a 165# dog smash into a 60" plasma TV like they were in a mosh pit?

I have.

Ever see a 60" plasma TV slowly tip over, stand and all? So slowly that it looked like slo-motion?

I have.

Ever successfully try to revive a 60" plasma TV from a fall?

I haven't.

Ever see a cat hide for 3 days after witnessing a 165# dog and a 60" plasma tv slamdance with each other like they were listening to the Dead Kennedys?

I have.

BTW,

Thanksgiving football is not the same on a 27" tv AFTER you've experienced 60 wonderful inches of highly defined goodness.

 

yes.
i was at my buddies house one day and we had a few guys over and then they wood leave and then new people wood come. so we had this one group of people who stayed for a while. there were three people in that group. Lights were called three times that day. once by each of them because if you call lights your out.

 

Dude....worked at circuit city.... it wasnt a buzzkill for me or anything...this guy comes in..with 4 fucking kids (id say they were....5-6 maybe 7) that are obviously quadruplets, and obviously his (this will be important in a second). So he is walking around obviously waiting for someone to help him and i was new there... so one of the "seasoned" emplyees went to help, the guys says id like to look at this tv over here kids you can go look at video games or something, and BAM the races were fucking off dude, the kids went from at his side, to like 40 feet from him (still in the tv section) in maybe a second, and were into the video game section...maybe 2 seconds later... everyone within earshot of their footsteps turned to see wtf it was, and everyone in unison realized they obviously bumped this HUGE tv, i dont know its size i was in the computer/console dept i didnt go check it out after either, but it was wobbling ever so slightly, but it was heavy so the wobble was actually getting more and more wobbly, instead of just balancing out, then it took one wobble back, one forward, and the, even bigger tv next to it, took the blunt of its fall, then it tipped over and BAM right on the fucking floor into thousand billion pieces, soon followed by the original tv that pushed it..... guy left with a tiny portable tv, and 3k less in his bank account lol

EDIT: oh yea the reason they were his and looked like him being important Employee 1" well atleast your baby sitting these kids you dont have to pay"

Employee 2: "they look pretty much exactly like you tho which is odd"

Guy: uh yea...these are mine... for as short as amount of time as possible....fuck parenthood

 

hahahahahahahha