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BUSH'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH (FIRST DRAFT)

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Superjoint, Jan 26, 2001.

  1. BUSH'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH (FIRST DRAFT)

    My fellow Americans, it's about fucking time.

    All you liberals can just kiss my big, white Texas ass if you think I'm
    gonna

    spew a boatload of bipartisan bullshit. Let's set the record straight here.

    I won, dammit. Hell, I won FOUR OR FIVE TIMES, you stupid bastards. We Got

    the Presidency, we got Congress, and by the end of four years we'll have
    even

    more of the Supreme Court. The Republicans are here, and we're gonna show

    you how it's done.

    Y'all want me to reach across party lines now? How 'bout I reach across and

    bitch-slap all your sorry-liberal-monkey-asses? How'dya like that?

    Don't get me wrong, here. The sense of satisfaction I'm feeling right now

    isn't that I've won - it's that I won't have to listen to Al Gore bitch and

    moan about "letting every vote count".

    The only reason this went as far as it did is because you Democrats have a

    playground crybaby as your poster-boy, and I for one am glad I won't have to

    see him on TV anymore. This might sound snippy, Mr. Gore, but as we used to

    say in the sandlot...LOSERS WALK!!!

    As I said in my campaign, I promised to be a president who focuses on

    education. My first task as President will be to start an educational
    program

    for all you Florida-idiots who can't tell your elbow from your asshole or
    how

    to poke a stylus through the right hole.

    I don't get you liberal Democrats: when we're talking about Bill Clinton and

    some office whore, you say that lack of penetration doesn't count; but when

    it comes to ballots, lack of penetration DOES count. You want a solution to

    this problem? Take some Viagra, you old farts, and finish what you started

    next election.

    Until then, I want to ask you just one question: "Who's yer daddy???"

    And so I humbly accept the office of President of these United States.

    Thank you.

     
  2. i didnt think he could use thoes big words like "My" "it's" and "I'm" he has suprised me already!

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  3. I would have loved to see him actually give that speech.

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    Video games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pacman affected us, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.

    (some magazine or something)
     

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