I just want to know that I'm not alone. Please do share your stories too. Here's mine. Going to be long. I'm 24/F. Had a best friend for 6 years. By best friend, i mean he was literally a part of me. We always talked, gone thru a lot, stayed with each other thru thick and thin. I was in love with him, but had a boyfriend for 5 years. Both lived away from me. My relation with my bf was on and off all the time. My best friend loved me. But never stopped me nor asked me out. He has a gf. So ive broken up with my bf an year ago and abt 4 mo ago i went to visit my best friend. One of the times we met properly. And unfortunately there were sparks, love and shit. His gf and all his friends knew something was up b/w us. I tried to stay away. The night before i left, things drastically changed. I was totally unprepared for it. He took the first step and we kissed and made out. Trust me i tried to be away, but emotions came in the way, blocking out any reasons. I thought he was into me finally, and that we could make things work. But things turned into shit, he always emotionally blackmail me, telling me he coukdnt live w/o me and would soon leave his gf. But never happened. All the mess he put me thru and i put muself into, i developed hypertension (diagnosed clinically) and slipped into xanax addiction. But like always he never left his gf. When finally i confronted, he said he cant. But still continued taunting me. I stopped talking, but he would still call at 3 in the night crying, that he needed me. But he never kept our friendship straight. all my efforts were always in vain. Recently when i told his gf(my ex did), hell broke loose. She made a big racket. I still had no answers from him. Finally she made him block me and all, which he did by dropping me a message that he loved her only. And later i came to know that he told her our best kept secrets and lied to her abt me, saying that i asked him to break up with her, which i never did by myself. This broke me apart completely. 6 years of unbreakable bond. Im not mad at him. But im broken apart. My trust. i could finally get rid of my addictions, but im on life long medication for hypertension. Theres no day im left alone without his image in my head. Weed is coming to my rescue. It wont help me forget him, but it helps me contain my emotions. It makes me detached from my emotions. Hurts me not because i love him or he ditched me. But because he had been my best friends for years, we built up a life together. It just took him matter of days to destroy everything we had. It was him who initiated everything. And i never got any apology nor saw any tint of regret in him. My life on the other hand lost it's meaning or importance. I function only because if weed. Throw in your opinions or your stories.
You need therapy And he is a fuck ass Google 'psychologists in _______(your area)' and find one that takes with your health insurance.
I've been on therapy, but those tricyclic antidepressants were too much to handle. Fucked up my head pretty much. I've found solace in Grass. It's pretty much everything for me now.
As much as you felt that was a friendship, you were his other girlfriend. Regardless if you were intimate, the way you are talking it is clear you had strong feelings for him and he did for you so you guys were in a relationship regardless which is why you are having a hard time. You just got out of a 6 year relationship and you are going to feel confused and lost for a while, trust me I have been there. It is going to take some time, but focus yourself into activities you enjoy, for me it was snowboarding, hiking, disc golf and getting in touch with friends I had lost touch with (also smoked plenty of herb)...Work on getting happy yourself and then get out there and meet a decent guy. I know you said this was just a best friend, but it definitely was more than that, and if you start to realize that it may be easier to start moving on and forgetting about someone who clearly was not good for or toward you.
I mean a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists prescribe you medicine and you talk to them for 30 mins and they don't really care about you. Psychologists are talk therapists. I go to one, I have been going for the past 3 years. I do ACT therapy. It had helped me so much. Most people aren't in therapy for that long, I just have really really bad PTSD. I am on a tricyclic antidepressant, and it actually helps me a lot. Every time I try to get off of it I fall into serious empty depression and can't function. I know a couple people who were not helped at ALL by psych meds. Psych meds don't help most people. They either do nothing or like you said fuck your brain up.
One should. Turns out that he messed around with many girls. Not in the name of friendship tho. I made sure she knew everything.
I'm a doctor too. The shrink was a friend of a friend. But anyway not to mess around with CNS stimulants and depressents. Weed would be the perfect cure. My bf(patched up) wants me to stop weed coz he thinks it's making me emotionally blank.