Because I've Had Time To Think About It!

BECAUSE I'VE HAD TIME TO THINK ABOUT.


Everyone together now.




POOOOOOOOOOHBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


There.

Does'nt that make your face feel funny? If it does'nt then you're not saying right.


It WILL make your dog stare at you.

With a bewildered look on his face.


But, e'nuff about me!Tell me, what do you think about me?


I was gonna impart to you some basic truths of the universe, but once again the STML has kicked in and I've forgotten most of them.

I know.

Being a self elected Grand Poobah of an exclusive organization such as O.F.F. knowing the basic truths of the universe should be as normal as knockin' your hat in the creek.


Maybe Grand Poobah's should'nt smoke so much. Or maybe they should'nt smoke so much while borrowing medications from friends. Or maybe they should just give up and go to bed.

But hey! It's Friday night!


Oops.

Check that.

It's Saturday morning!

"Well let's boil some chicken and gargle some coffee!"


I swear to God I just heard that line on an old western that's on the tube, providing the background music for this thread. Can ya hear it?

Hang on tight! I'm gonna whip a hard left and get back to the main road of this thread.


(2 hitz and much later)

Well after a brief sojourn back to the top of this thread, I now have absolutely no idea where I was going when I started
this.

One thing about not knowing where you're going, you're always surprised when you get there!


I may have to get that put on a bumper sticker.


Maybe I was gonna talk about the girls softball? I'm a full fledged assistant coach this year! I got a jersey and everything! It says "Ethel" on the back of it. Money's kinda tight this year.....and I AM just an assistant coach.

We are 7-2 so far and having a blast!

I know, I know, you're asking yourself, "Smokin! How can you be a Grand Poohbah, an assistant coach named "Ethel", and quantum physics professor all at the same time?"

It's easy.

I take SPEED!




That's not true.

(I don't know that much about quantum physics.)





While we're jumping around on subjects here........


We've been in a drought for a couple of years around here. It's gotten so bad that they put us on rationing. I have a few theories as to what is causing this prolonged dry spell. Would you like to hear them? I knew you would. You can obviously tell that I'm the only one who gets it. (Pompous? I think so!)


Theory #1


There is a multi-national oil corp. that has a research facility near this area. The security around this place was tight even before 9-11. The local fire dept. is'nt even allowed on the premises, they have their own!


Back in the mid 80's this facility got rocked by a tornado and several BIG storms. In response to this I believe the facility has developed some kind of storm repelling machine.

Paranoid, you ask?

Let me continue.


The harbringer of spring and fall in this part of the world is when cold air off the Rockies slams into warm moist air from the Gulf of Mexico. The result is squall lines, a rolling line of storms, that approach here from the northwest. These are the rains that sustain us thru our HOT summers and cold dry winters.


Anybody who's spent any time around TLC or the Discovery channel knows this shit! So I'll quit it now.


But for the last 3 years I've watched these storms come rolling outta Kansas, right at us, only to split and go around us and reform to the south! It's been unreal!


But why would they leave this machine on so long and put us in this dire water situation?


I don't know about you but I get the picture in my mind of a engineer on the phone saying;
"...I DON'T FRIGGIN KNOW! I JUST TURNED IT ON AND THE KNOB CAME OFF IN MY HAND AND NOW I CAN'T GET THIS THING TO SHUT OFF!"


So they just took it out back and buried it and hoped nobody would notice until some other company bought them out.

Hmmmmmm...........

I'm starting to feel a little like Karen Silkwood here!
(If ya don't know who she is, YOU GOT A 'PUTER! LOOK IT UP!)


Theory #2

If you do watch TLC or other "real" channels, you've probably seen the big tornado that hit the Okla. City area a few years back. Some awesome footage of that one! Makes you realize what a small, insignificent piece of stuff you are in the face of Mother Nature.

The state's response to that has been about a bazillion dollars worth of radar equipment, everywhere! They've got truck based units that chase these storms.( New definition of "THE SHITS"; When a storm is coming and all the NOAA chase vehicles are parked just down the road.)


I think these storms are being bombarded with radar! I think it's sapping the enormous energy needed to sustain a t-storm!

When this stuff starts showing up on CNN, just remember you heard it here first!


I commented to the wifey last week that I would'nt mind getting blown around a little bit if it would just rain with it.


Once again the powers that be reminded me to be careful what you wish for.


Early Monday A.M. we had some 90 mph winds come blasting thru here! You guessed it. Not hardly a drop of rain with it! I'd spent 8 hours the previous Saturday working in the yard and had it looking nice. When I left for work Monday morning it looked like Bagdahd during the oil war!

So Monday night I spent my evening looking under all the trees down in the yard to see if any livestock had flown in.

Tuesday the rains finally came and now the resevoir is 3 ft. over flood stage. The batteries must've finally run down on that machine.

I don't know if I got where I was going, but I've typed myself stupid!

I think I'll go ahead and set the alarm in the morning just so I can yell at it and kill it and go back to sleep.

So g'night Blades!



Y'all have a good weekend!

 

I'd say that weed and muscle relaxers is a hell of a buzz, but man do they hang you over! Slept most of the next day away. But it was cool and rainy so I could'nt think of a better way to spend it!


Stony! You seemed to have married a man with a great mind! I guess I'm not the only one who really gets it!


Cowboy! I've never been one to ignore the man behind the curtain. Me and Toto both just have to look and see what the hell is really going on!


Ganjaphish! Thanks for de Karma but you're over doing it just a little! We've had all water restrictions removed! It took 2 weeks of storms to go from empty to 4 ft. over flood stage! But now I gotta spend all my free time ridin the mower. Always remember that karma is a powerful thing!


RMJL! Once again, thank you for the rain, but E'NUFF! Glad you enjoyed my stoned, medicated, ramblings. I had fun, but did'nt remember I had wrote all this til' today!


Keepsmokin! Happy to help!


Budhead! Of course I'm right about the storm machine! As soon as I broke this story to the media, (if this here city can be considered the media,) it started raining here! I'll bet they dug it up and disabled since I was on to their little plan!


Critter! Luckily I can translate Critter-on-port-ese. I fully understood your post! Go kindly also my friend!


Sincerely,
Your Grand Poobah,

Ethel.