I don't even know how to start this or convey what I'm feeling so here goes my best shot: I have a great girlfriend. We see eye to eye on everything and in the 4ish years we've been together we have had 1 argument that only came about because we were both tired and stressed. Talked it out and everything went back to normal. Overall she is a great girl. Trustworthy, loving, loyal, caring, funny, etc. Here comes the part where I feel like a total asshole: Lately I have just been feeling like I want to be alone. No one new is in the picture. I have no desire to explore even the idea of dating anyone else; I just really feel like I need some space. Real space though. Not that "we need a break" kind of thing because I have always felt that is an unproductive cop out to dealing with relationship conflicts. I just truly and honestly do not want anyone in my life and I don't even know how or why I came to this conclusion. It just is what it is. I'm wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this and if so, why? How did it turn out for you? I figure that as my girlfriend has done nothing wrong then surely the problem lies with me and I would hate to ruin what we share because I can't identify where these feelings are coming from. Any input would be appreciated. Hell even trolling is appreciated because I feel like crap just writing this post lol.
Hey you should talk to my ex, she came to the same conclusion... From her end I'd just explain yourself as best you can. If you're serious there's no real way to not hurt her. You're gonna be an asshole but you can't live your life for anyone else. She'll realize that, like I slowly am but its hard especially if you guys made any plans for the future
I've had this feeling before during a relationship. It ended poorly because I didn't know how to go about it as well. For some reason, then, I no longer wanted to be around this girl. I only know that I returned from a Colorado trip, where I was hiking, canoing, etc. (no smoking" and things felt different. I had no idea why I felt this way, but I wanted to end things immediately. The only explanation I have for this feeling you're having, because I decided to end things with my gut instinct, is that you want to try new things. Maybe you feel locked down by her and want to explore what it's like to be single, totally independent and discover your interests for things never before possible with a girlfriend consuming most of your time. I'd recommend you take some time to yourself and reflect on why you like her and what do you want to be doing in the next 5 years? Can you see her in the picture and, if so, move from there. I won't tell you what you ought to do, because I don't know either, but contemplate for some time on what you want (because you're important, and arguably the most important).
I don't want to say anything on a whim so I'll get back to your replies in the morning. I appreciate the input.
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling bro... And it sucks. A year into my relationship with my girlfriend I was starting to have doubts. I felt like I just wanted to be alone, to be by myself and just live independently without having to care for myself AND another person. Mind you, I'm in a university. I wanted to hang out with friends, go explore myself and other things in life and just grow. This didn't mean having sex with randos, I had no desire to be with another person. I wasn't bored of her, I wasn't tired of the relationship, just like you said "it is what it is." There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Banging body, even better personality. She was perfect. We never got into fights, we liked the same stuff, and we were in love. To this day I don't think I'll ever find someone as awesome as her. But no matter how much I tried to fight the feeling and say to myself I don't need space or I dont need to be alone for a while...it was still there lingering in the back of my mind and it ate at me as the months went by. It hasn't been long since we have broken up, but we arnt together anymore :/ it sucks because the problem was just within me.... Not her... As cliche as it sounds. I guess I just wasn't in the right time of my life for a relationship anymore. Life is nuts man, but time passes by and all things heal and you just go on with life. Best of luck to you and let us know if you need anything Sent from my HTC One using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I've never been in this type of situation, but it looks like you got some good advice in these comments. What I do know is that the decision you make will basically decide whether you will be with this girl or not.... meaning that you should think about what you want with your life in the next couple of years and whether or not you want her to be there for that.
Communication bro. It's All about communication. If you two have been together for 4+ years, a day if she's really that great of a girl as you say she is, I'd honestly just communicate with her! Just flat out tell her what your truly feeling. That way everything is out in the open, and if things do end up and you two split, it's better to do it now and not waste any more of Her time as well as yours! Hell, maybe she's got similar feelings but is also nervous about bringing it up. Praying for yah man, let us know how it goes Sent from my DROID RAZR using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Been in this exact position. I ended it and while I've since come to peace with it, I have yet to find anybody as good as her, and I regretted it for a long time. If I could go back, I would change my choice. Mobile reppin
We haven't made any future plans. Sort of live in the moment and that is what I have always liked about her. We are both very independent so I have never felt like she has held me back from anything. Frankly, she has actually been kind of like my sidekick as I travel around the world for work and always bring her with me. We're in Thailand at the moment and I've been in a different province for a couple weeks working on some things alone because she fights and there are better training facilities near my house where we are living together. Part of what makes her such a good companion is that neither of us ever worry about what the other person is doing. We trust each other entirely which is what makes how I'm feeling now so difficult to understand. Thanks for sharing. The last thing I want to do is take her for granted. I would hate to break things off only to realize how unhappy I would be without her. True. She has already been with me through many things, for many years, so I know what I will be missing should things not work out. This is something I truly do want to talk to her about but I am worried that all she will hear is "I don't want to be with you" as opposed to "I want to be alone." I know the wording is almost identical but the implications are entirely different. Like I said it has nothing to do with her specifically... Others have said the same thing. It worries me. Neither. I am working on a big project that is quite stressful but that is about it. Anyways, for anyone who cares lol, I think I will just wait it out for a few weeks and see if these feelings pass. I really don't know what brought them on. If it continues then I will talk to her about it and hope for the best. It truly is hard to imagine my life without her. Thank you for the replies.
No problemo, I hope everything works out for you man. It sounds like you got a cool chick though, just sayin those a few and far between
Sounds like your relationship dynamic needs to change. Four years of the same thing would get monotonous. Maybe you two should try and go away for a weekend. Rekindle that old magic? If you still love her, and it sounds like you do, sometimes it's best to change something rather than end it.
It has basically been 4 years of adventure. Lived in 4 different countries; traveled to many others. We both want the same thing which is to not be tied down living a monotonous life. I am the problem. I know that much. I really have no reason to be feeling the way I do.