Avoiding the Friend-Zone

flirt with her and display sexual interests. the best way not to get friend-zoned is to reject her friendship.

 

Well.. if she has a boyfriend and isn't one of those stupid party hos then I doubt she'd even want to be friends, with a boyfriend she's probably busy all the time.

 

[quote name='"StonedOpossum"']Hey GC.

I figured I could handle this one on my own, but my penchant for getting friend-zoned is pretty bad and I want to avoid it this time.

There's a girl I'm into at school. She lives upstairs from me and I've known her since last semester. I was planning on making a move early this year, but I found out today she has a boyfriend. While hearing that was a little disheartening, I decided there was nothing I could do and decided to move on. However, that being said, I'd like to stay close with this girl in the event that something happens that gives me another opportunity. College relationships are always in flux so I figured it's worth sticking around for. If not, at least I've got a good female friend whom I enjoy spending time with.

My question is: how do I get close to her without getting friend-zoned? The same thing has happened to me before, and I'd rather not let it happen again.

Many thanks.[/quote]

Don't be too friendly. Show you're into her, but respect that she's in a relationship.

 

Spend and utilize your energy and efforts on a girl that's actually single and available?

Who the fuck wants to be just friends with a girl, are you gay or don't have any guys to hang out with?
And her boyfriend would probably get rattled.. I really don't know what your goal is here..

I'm so confused, you want to avoid the friendzone but be friends? Iiiiiiiiiii dunnoooo...

 

Why waste your time on her? I vote find another girl. I can't stand when men waste their time on one chick and claim cool girls are hard to find. Not true.

 

Dude, don't be an orbiter. Either pick her friendship without ever attempting to get her to put more on the table or attempt a sexual relationship with her. Orbitting is just pathetic.

 

You have to choose man. IMO the risk is worth the reward I personally would rather get rejected and never talk to a girl again in my life than to be just another bitch in her friend zone.

 

I've been there, guy. Like probably a million times. Can I offer a little insight from the girl's perspective?

I obviously can't speak for the girl in question, but I can speak from my own experience... It hurts pretty bad and sucks pretty hard to find out someone awesome and trustworthy and supportive is only friends with you and acting that way because they're waiting around for your boyfriend to dump you.

You don't sound like a lousy guy, but even with the best intentions, you clearly have sincere feelings for this girl. If you can't put these feelings aside, that means you can't be friends. She's in a relationship, and you need to respect that. Period.

Just keep it movin', focus your attention on other things. Meet other people, make friends, date other people if you find someone you like. And maybe someday down the line, this girl will become available again and the timing will be right for the two of you to be together.

Besides, if you really care about this girl, you don't wanna be the rebound guy... Do you?

 

Alright, here's my opinion on "how" to go about it.

You don't want overload her with sexual interest or "needy" gestures, too much of that while her mind is with someone else can come off creepy and offensive, so I would stick to things that are quite casual and allow her the space she needs to become interested in you.

For example, invite her to lunch. Lunch seems friendly (much more "friendly" than dinner), but pay for her meal. Friendly AND "boyfriend material" at the same time.
Text/email her things, but you don't want to overdo it or ask too many questions. Just small things like "thinking about you, how are you doing?" or "goodnight!" in the evening. You want to act interested in her life, but put the ball in her hands. Sending a text letting her know that you're thinking about her and wondering how she's doing shows that you care and are interested, but keeping the ball in her court also shows that you are trying to be respectful of her current relationship status.

 

Lol...

What girls think they want and what they actually want are two vastly different things.

 

much truth to be had in this statement.

 

I don't know what to say to you. but if she is willing to cheat with you while with her bf, that means she will most likely cheat on you. so I would think through what you're trying to do here.

 

I hate to break it to you, but you're probably wasting your time. I know you do not want to get "friend-zoned", but if you did become close with her and she loves her boy, then, she'd already only view you as a friend. However, if you don't mind that, I guess it's all good. I suggest you try moving on though; she does have a boyfriend. I'm 20 and will be returning to school in the spring after a break. My boyfriend is in college, and we've been together for seven months today, and I can't imagine being with anyone else, so while I definitely agree college relationships are in flux, there are the rare exceptions. Good luck, bro.

 

Be honest from day 1.